Kikuchiyo, Samurai 7

[kikuchiyo-sama.livejournal.com]

((Note: This is a post-series Kikuchiyo. Thus, he has died, but has inexplicably turned up here.))

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese? You mean we actually get to eat cheese here? Man, that’s usually for nobles and bureaucrats…I’ll take some of whatever you got. Dying makes me hungry, that it does, and a samurai has to keep up his strength!

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
That would probably depend on which one pissed me off first, that it would. If one of them were threatening a village or some innocents or something, I’d take ‘em down on my honor as a great samurai. Also, if one of them was a renowned fighter, I’d probably go for whichever one which would give me more fame. I will say however, that neither looks like much of a threat.

3. What time is it where you are?
Last time I can remember it was about midday. Hard to tell how long it’s been since I got here.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Samurai do not sexually harass! That’s more the province of spoiled royalty like that Ukyo brat. What I would do is throw a big party for everyone, and not worry about anything else.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I’m not much for sake, really…but I’d probably call it “The Boiler Room”. *jets steam* Or better yet, “Kikuchiyo’s Boiler Room”. Sounds like something Komachi would think up.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
This Harry should go with whichever one accepts him for who he is. His suitor should be honorable and kind as well, and not a coward or a cruel person. He should pursue his own happiness no matter what anyone says, never hesitating even for an instant! *slams his fists together*

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Paperwork, huh? Sounds like something for those damn merchants! *vents steam from his helmet* To hell with paperwork! Just make a decision and let your sword guide you, that’s the path of a true samurai!

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
What kind of question is that? Useless, me? I’m a mighty samurai warrior, one of seven who defended a small village from an army of Nobuseri…twice! Don’t look down on me just because I was born a peasant! I made my body into this *flexes metal fists* so I could become a great samurai. Useless? Don’t make me laugh. Kanbei told me once that one is not truly useless so long as they know who the are. I know who I am; can you lot say the same?

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
A bribe doesn’t sound like a proper thing for a samurai to do. However, I suppose if I must make some offer, I can offer my services as a samurai. If you have an injustice that needs righting, look to the mighty Kikuchiyo-sama! I can also train people in basic swordsmanship, cut down trees, destroy giant robots, and perform other feats of strength. I also make a good babysitter.