Bran ap Arthur, Bran Pen-dragon, Bran Davies

[branaparthur.livejournal.com]

I'm totally at a loss as to why I have to come /here/ now. Someone's going to hear about this. Anyway. Questionnaire.

( my name is Bran Davies. That's Welsh Bran, not your lousy English food )

A Very Special Post by Barney

[barney-the-dino.livejournal.com]

All right, kids. Two days ago, something very bad happened, and now we're going to talk about it.

Two days ago, I did something very very bad. I gave in to Peer Pressure, and I took.... Drugs.

Do you all know what Drugs are? Drugs are nasty, horrible, evil things. They make your hair and teeth fall out, and they force you to do bad things, like jump off of balconies and kill people. And if you take a Drug even one time, you'll be forced to take it forever! This instructional film will tell you everything you need to know about the effects of Drugs.

I know you're confused now. How can Barney be evil, when he's so loving and kind? you're asking. And is he going to be evil forever?

The answer to the first question is that Drugs made me evil. Yes, they're so powerful that even all of my love and caring couldn't defeat them. But don't worry, kids, I won't be evil forever! I've gotten in contact with a very helpful organization called Narcotics Anonymous, and soon I won't want mushrooms or marijuana or LSD any more. Even now I can feel them calling to me. They're saying "Barney, you had so much fun with us last time. Let's have even more fun!" And I'll say "YES! I NEED YOU NOW! No, no, I'm Drug Free, and that's the Way to Be."

Send good thoughts my way, children and fellow Hogwartians. I hope that my example will teach you that Drugs Are Bad, and that you should never ever ever take them, even if someone was holding a gun to your head.

My Smeggin' Application

[dave-cb-lister.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Uh, chedder I suppose. Especially if it has curry sauce poured all over it.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Barney. Definately Barney. I hate that little smegger.

3. What time is it where you are?

About 50,000,000 years in the future.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Well, I dunno about all that. I think I'd prefer to sexually harass Christine Kochanski.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Smeg! Clever and witty, eh? Ok. Um, names. I'd probably call it Smegger's Paradise - and I'd serve my favorite cocktail: Beer Milkshakes.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Well, that's not up to me to say really. I don't care who he marries. But since I feel I should answer the question, I'd have to say Harry should marry George because it sounds better than Harry & Fred.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

It's probably going through some kind of inter-dimensional time slip or something. When you dispose of it, however you're doing it, it's probably going through a time-space tunnel of some sort, re-writing the text on the pages and popping itself back on your desk.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Uh, well, when I'm not saving the universe and rescuing my friends from gelfs and the lot, I usually spend a lot of my time drinking beer & eating curries. I guess you could say I, if nothing else, have really good taste.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

Well, there's always my spacebike (although I'd like to 'ang on to tha'). Erm, I could give you my old data tapes containing virtual reality video games & zero gravity football. Oh, and I could always make you a beer milkshake.

Ryuuji-Draco RP.

[dice-addict.livejournal.com]

( Never wake a sleepwalker; if you do, their legs drop off. )

Very Brief Announcement

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

I would like to remind you all that Prefect elections close in approximately 4 hours. If you have been sorted, but have not yet voted, please be sure to vote before then! You may place your vote here.

I would also remind you that the candidates are answering questions on various important issues, which may help you decide which way to vote if you are undecided.

Please take the opportunity to give Barney your good wishes on his recovery from drug addiction.

I have sorted a few more applicants. Please welcome Lady Door into Hufflepuff, Lyra Belacqua into Gryffindor and Susan Pompoms into Bitchiwitch. A full membership director can be found in our Community Information.

There are currently several open applications:

Roland of Gilead;
Scrooge McDuck;
Bran Davies Pendragon; and
Dave Lister

Finally, thank you, Mr. Pye for making it possible for us to have the lovely venison stew the House Elves served this evening.

[Application for Bernard Ludwig Black]

[blacks-thecolor.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Cheese. Cheesey... tings... What's that sort that you cut up to make sandwiches? That one.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Depends. Are either of them likely to give me wine or large sums of money? If not then I clearly must immolate them immediately. There's just no other way.

3. What time is it where you are?

What time, where's the clo-- Buggering hell! Half ten? Why am I awake now? No one gets up this early. Well, if they work in a bakery of something.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

I'd get Manny to do it for me. Sexual harassment can only end in a lawsuit or a venereal disease.


5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Wine. Wine and... whiskey and absinthe and wine tings... and who cares as long as there's drink?

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

I could sing for you?

"Oh, I live in a ditch and the British took my teeth and we et our grandma when the crops failed..." Ah, the lovely songs from home. Have some wine and sing it with me.

Or, I've got books. Real actual books, not those tacky paperback monstrosities that idiots carry around to pretend they look intelligent.