Journey into Recovery ((Sock, RP, Kusuriyuri, Yukimura, Kuronue))

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

What god-modding there is has been approved. Topic and action likely to wander to NSFW areas and possibly triggery.

It had taken him longer to recover than he expected, but Kusuriyuri had finally convinced Kurama that he was well enough to return to his office for the day. He had almost had to threaten his lover with wards to make Kurama go to the greenhouses. He was just finishing preparing to leave when there was a soft knock at the door. Frowning at the wards that thought about identifying the presence as Kuronue but wouldn't commit, Kusuriyuri opened the door, not surprised the knocker was Yukimura, though he was surprised to see the samurai.

"I am sorry to bother you so early," Yukimura said, bowing. "As well as at your home, but I have something I wish to speak with you about in private."

Kusuriyuri tilted his head and looked at Yukimura. A contented exhaustion overlayed a deeper sense of concern. He returned the bow and stepped back. "Please, come in. Good morning." He wondered how long Yukimura had been waiting to be sure Kurama had left for the day.

Yukimura smiled as he walked past the peddler, stepping out of his shoes easily before entering the main portion of the house. "Good morning and thank you for your indulgence."

Kusuriyuri led Yukimura to the living room and gestured for him to take a seat. He watched while the samurai knelt between the couch and the table. Kusuriyuri knelt opposite him and waited.

Boukensha crawled into Kusuriyuri's lap and Belophoebe sniffed at Yukimura before hopping up on the couch behind his head, turning to deliberately ignore him except for her tail that draped over his shoulder.

Yukimura reached up and brushed her tail, causing ti to twitch and then settle again on his shoulder. "First, I want to thank you for everything you have done for us, Kuronue and myself. Words only are not enough."

"You have done much for us, as well," Kusuriyuri murmured. He knew that Yukimura's relationship with Kurama and Kuronue helped the fox in many ways.

A smile crossed Yukimura's lips. "I also know that we are far more in your debt." He reached up and caressed Bel's tail, amusement in his features as her tail flicked around his neck, lingering, before settling on his shoulder again. His expression sobered as his hand settled in his lap. "And I am here to place myself more in your debt."

While it was expected, Kusuriyuri's eyebrow went up. "This one does not consider you in his debt," he said formally. "As to your request, this one is a medicine peddler."

"True, but as to whether what I ask is within your trade..." Yukimura protested, his hand coming up to caress Bel's tail again.

"Ease your mind, then, and make your request," Kusuriyuri suggested after watching Yukimura pet the cat's tail a long moment.

Sighing, Yukimura said, "It is a difficult thing, but Kuronue did agree to this." He looked at Kusuriyuri. "Kuronue is still having nightmares. He doesn't always recognize me when I try to soothe or wake him. While he has only snarled at me in his sleep, this is a newer development and I would not care to see it become worse."

Kusuriyuri bowed to Yukimura. "This is a difficult thing," he murmured.

Nodding, Yukimura continued, "And, neither of us is used to asking for help. But, I do not wish to have you obliged, either. I remember that thing Apos threw at you."

"Once this one's body accepted it, it has ceased to be a problem." Nor would it be one in the future with Apos trapped in the sinning tree.

"That is good to hear. I would not want you to come to permanent harm." There was genuine relief in the samurai's voice.

"What is it that you would ask of this one?" Kusuriyuri asked. "What you have said does sound as though it would be within the scope of a medicine peddler."

"It is more complex than that," Yukimura said carefully. "To allow himself to be open enough, he needs more than I am able to give him."

Kusuriyuri frowned slightly. "More?"

"Yes," Yukimura nodded. "Violence and sex are very closely tied in his mind. I tend to be more gentle unless he provokes me, and even then, I am not as harsh as he desires sometimes. But, when he receives such treatment, his mind is more open."

"Is that so?" Kusuriyuri murmured. "That may be why Akabane affected him so deeply."

A wry expression crossed Yukimura's face, his eyes hardening. "Perhaps, but we both would like him to reach a level of peace rather than just burying his heart again. I would rather he healed."

The image of Ro impinged on Kusuriyuri's mind. He'd kept his distance but he had seen how very weak and injured that part of Kuronue's mind had been. "Healing cannot be forced," he said carefully.

"I know. I also am aware that things between us may change. I also know that things may become worse before they improve." Yukimura held up his hand. "I trust and respect your judgement, both in regard to whether you'll accept and what you tell Kurama. If you will not, there will be nothing more spoken of this."

Kusuriyuri was silent a long moment, stroking Boukensha as he thought. "I would speak with Kuronue alone first," he said slowly. While he understood why Yukimura approached him—things between him and Kuronue were still somewhat awkward despite the recent changes in their relationship—he needed to know this was truly what Kuronue wanted, that he was prepared.

"Of course," Yukimura said. His eyes went unfocused for a moment and he rose. "He will be here soon," he said, bowing. "Thank you."

Kusuriyuri rose before returning the bow. "It is what is done," he said as Yukimura walked to the hall.

"By some," Yukimura said, turning as he stepped into his shoes. "Those who are indeed worthy of regard," he added with a bow, stepping out of the door.

Comments

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

He nodded. Physically, outside his head, he nodded as well, gently pushing at Kusuriyuri. He wanted to speak with him outside his head, since they seemed to be done now.

And mostly he wanted to just kiss him in thanks. Because Kusuriyuri had helped him already, was going to help him a hell of a lot more than he'd ever know.

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri drew them back out to the external world, his hand returning to his lap. "The next time will be more difficult," he warned. "To redirect the flow of your energy will take much longer and many more sessions."

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

Kuronue opened his eyes and nodded, leaned forward to press his lips to Kusuriyuri's. It was chaste, but he remained there for a while before pulling back. "Thank you," he said, bowing his head.

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri brushed his fingers on Kuronue's cheek. "Did you wish for some tea before you left?" he asked as the cats returned from where they'd hidden, both of them sniffing at Kuronue.

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

Kuronue nodded. "I'd like tea--" and then the cats came in, and he bristled at the sight of them, barely keeping himself from hissing at them, "--but I want to see Yukimura."

He'd never get Kurama and Kusuriyuri's affection for the things. He kissed the inside of Kusuriyuri's palm and then stood slowly.

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

The cats, being true members of the species, found Kuronue irresistible because of his dislike of them. "Very well," Kusuriyuri said, rising to show Kuronue out.

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

He glared at the cats as they rubbed against his legs. "They do that every time," he grumbled, taking no pains to be careful of stepping on feet or tails as he went to the door.

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"They are fond of you," Kusuriyuri say dryly, noting Kuronue's displeasure in the fact. "Cats are very good judges of character."

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

"Characters that dislike felines, I'm sure," he groused. When he finally made it to the door he had to bend down and push them back inside, picking the one lacking a tail and handing it to Kusuriyuri since it seemed to be more willing to follow him than the other.

He straightened. "Thank you again," he said, looking down the hallway. He looked back to Kusuriyuri. "I'll be back..."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Boukensha took the opportunity to crawl up into Kusuriyuri's collar. "I shall look forward to it," Kusuriyuri said. "Remember to think, not run from your mind and things will go as well as possible."

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

Kuronue nodded. "Alright. I'll see you...in a day or two."

He left and went right to the ground floor manually rather than taking a window short cut. He found himself up on one of the steeples of the castle towers a while later, hands in his pockets.

It hadn't gone the way he'd expected it to. He hadn't...realised he hated himself so much, or thought so little of himself. Not to that degree. He'd fallen so far, he was entrapped in his own lies. Delusional.

He reached out. Yuki? he called, startled a little at the slight difference in volume and ease that hadn't been there before. Are you busy?

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

Yukimura had taken the time Kuronue was with Kusuriyuri to train with Mello. The boy was still recovering, though he wouldn't admit it. He continued to push himself just as hard as he usually did. Just finished, he replied. Do you wish to meet somewhere? he asked, continuing to straighten things up.

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

Somewhere soft, he said. He wanted to talk with Yukimura, to tell him what he'd learnt, to try out this making love thing. Patience.

My room, please, he asked, wondering if Yukimura would like the remodelling his room seemed to have gone through in his infrequent trips back to it.

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

Curiosity caused Yukimura's eyebrow to flick up his forehead. I'll be there soon, he replied, finishing up and slipping on his shoes as he left the dojo. Should I bring anything?

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

He tilted his head. No, just yourself. I'll meet you there.

Jumping from the steeple, Kuronue did a wide circle of the school and then began making his way to his room. Yukimura would probably get there first. He'd notice, first of all, the the floor was one large futon except for a few places, like his table with the sunken floor. Slightly bouncy though, like western beds. In the corner of the room was what could only be described a nest of blankets and pillows. That was what Kuronue wanted.

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

Yukimura waited outside the door, though, waiting for Kuronue to arrive. He was curious about what Kuronue wanted, why he wanted someplace soft and the change in his voice. He leaned against the wall, his hands behind his back, his eyes closed, but he was aware of everything around him.

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

Kuronue had left his hat with Kusuriyuri, and so when he came down the hallway his hair was messy, and he was combing it with his fingers, blue hair tie between his teeth. "Hey," he greeted, leaving his hair out.

When he got to the door he started to pull his boots off, paused, then encouraged Yukimura to do the same. It wasn't too easy once they got inside.

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

"Hey," Yukimura replied. He enjoyed Kuronue's hair down. He was curious about taking off his shoes outside the room, but complied with the request. There was a difference in the way Kuronue carried himself, a difference in his eyes. He wanted to know, but he would let his lover tell him in his own time.

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

Kuronue picked up their shoes and nudged open the door, gestured Yukimura inside. Honestly he just wanted to see how he went walking on the floor that seemed to try to eat ones ankles.

He set their shoes just inside the door.

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

"This is indeed soft," Yukimura laughed, stepping onto the futon since he had no other choice. He held his hands out for balance. "This is very different," he said, turning to face Kuronue.

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

Kuronue closed the door and took Yukimura's hand. Rather than pull him over to where he wanted them to go, he gestured with his free hand. "Lets lay down and talk. I want...to hold you. For a while."

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

Even more curious. Yukimura moved to where Kuronue indicated and lowered himself onto his knees, waiting for Kuronue to make himself comfortable. "I would like that," he said as he waited.

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

Kuronue laid down beside him, taking off his belt and wraps and throwing them aside. He pulled the comforter up and curled around Yukimura, resting his head in his lap. After a while, he said, "I hate myself."

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

Yukimura caressed Kuronue's hair, letting him rest until he spoke. His words, while not really a surprise, caused him to look at his lover carefully. He had known, at some level, that Kuronue felt that way, had seen it or something. "That is a difficult thing to realize," he said gently, still caressing Kuronue's hair. "What will you do now?"

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

He smiled up at Yukimura. "I'll try not to, I guess," he said, looking pained. "Kusuriyuri and I have a lot of work to do. My mind...well, it's like a battle field, really. I'm not in denial any more, at least, but I have to work at it to get rid of the want to pretend that things aren't wrong. To make sure I don't fall back into doing so."