Application for Rory Williams (Doctor Who)

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

((ooc: Approved by fellow Who muns.))

Rory had thought he was getting used to things like this. All right, maybe not 'used to'. More used to. Less likely to stand around boggling in the face of alien weirdness. But, that was what he was doing - staring, wide-eyed, at what had been the TARDIS a few seconds ago and now...

Well, the room looked medieval, lots of stone and drapery. Like something on Earth, but then he didn't know what alien architecture was like. And - he hadn't heard birdsong. Or anything, really. Definitely not that vworping noise. He'd just blinked, and been here.

"Amy? Doctor?" No answer. He tried again, a little louder - "Amy?" - and this time there was a panicky wobble in his voice that hadn't been there before, so he stopped shouting for a bit. They'd find him, right? He must have been teleported here somehow, and he'd bet the Doctor had something that could trace him among all those mysterious buttons and knobs on the TARDIS controls. They'd be along any minute.

That was when he noticed the pen. It was a quill pen, exactly like you'd expect to find in a medieval castle, except it was floating above a table. And seemed to have just been writing something. Rory went over for a closer look.

His eyes widened even further. "...right," he muttered, after a few bewildered seconds looking down at the paper, which said Amy? Doctor? Amy? and then a list of questions underneath that. At least this gave him something to do. And by the time he finished they'd be here to explain things, surely? Or somebody would...



State your full name.

"Rory. Rory Williams. No, don't - don't write all that down, just - go back. Go. Back."

Waving the pen in the proper direction didn't seem to help. Rory sighed, raising his hands for a moment in an exasperated gesture directed at the room in general. No one appeared to explain things, again.

When he looked back, the pen had moved on to the next question. Of course.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"What?" He stared at the paper. It definitely said 'cheese'. "I don't know - Wensleydale?" Picking more or less at random. "It's - crumbly."

The quill moved on. Apparently that was sufficient.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

"Oookay. This is getting creepy. Er. I don't do killing people, all right? I'm a nurse." That had sounded more convincing in his head. "Unless Barney turns out to be some sort of - weird alien monster thing. In a dinosaur suit. We're talking about Barney the dinosaur, right?"

He hoped so, or that was going to sound even stupider. There wasn't a last name, though, and Rory didn't know anyone called Barney, so it was a reasonable guess.

3. What time is it where you are?

He laughed, rueful. "I have no idea. You tell me."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

"What?" The first 'what?' had just been bewildered. This one was bewildered and indignant and more than a little disturbed. "Look, I'm not - I wouldn't harass anyone, okay, and - for your information, I'm engaged. To an incredible, gorgeous... incredible woman. I mean, obviously even if I wasn't I still wouldn't go around..." He'd forgotten where this sentence had been headed, he realised. And that wasn't even the most unnerving part of the question. "And is this what we're doing now, zombies? First vampires, now - pervy zombies?"

The quill didn't answer, of course. For the first time, Rory found himself wishing the Doctor was around more than he wished Amy was. Amy was, hopefully, still safe on the TARDIS, not here being potentially molested by dead blokes with strange names.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

"...witty. Right. Beamed up into a castle of zombies and I've got to be clever about it now, have I? No, don't write..." As ever, the quill didn't listen. Rory shook his head.

"All right then." He thought about it for a moment, and a fond smile crossed his face. "The Duck Pond."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Ouch. All right, Rory was less insecure about this than he had been, knowing that Amy would risk death in a camper-van crash to get him back. Not that he'd want her to go driving into walls if something really happened to him, of course, because Amy was beautiful and amazing and should go on being Amy for as long as possible. But - she'd chosen him.

It still didn't make the question any less uncomfortable.

"Well, I don't - know any of them, obviously. But I think, you know, Harry should marry the one who loves him and who's always been there for him and thinks he's amazing. Even if he hasn't got a ...white horse or a magic wand or anything." Did that sound soppy? Possibly. Still a bit competitive? Again, possibly.

Time to move on then.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

He shrugged. "It's just how life works, isn't it? You grow up, you get a job, you've got paperwork to do." Well, most people... "You probably work for the NHS." Never let it be said Rory can't be snarky, on occasion.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Rory glared at the paper. Being paper, it wasn't all that susceptible to intimidation, even if Rory had looked at all threatening. "I'm a nurse," he told it, sounding indignant and not at all sulky. "With proper medical training, which is useful if people are going to run off and get - eaten by fish."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

"But - I don't really want to be here." On the other hand, he didn't know what being 'squibbed' meant, but the mental image it gave him involved fireworks. Which was probably not good. "I could - give you a checkup?"

"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____Rory Williams____
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___Rory Williams___.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __Rory Williams___.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___Rory Williams___"

Comments

[vislor-turlough.livejournal.com]

"What? Another one?" Turlough looked at Rory's hair. "Well, that ruins my 'Doctor has a ginger fetish' theory."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

Rory blinked at him. And then boggled some more. There was a lot to take in in that comment.

"...he's here? Amy's here?" And then, with rather more convincing indignance, "What do you mean, ginger fetish?"

[vislor-turlough.livejournal.com]

"Your...fiance, was it? Your fiance is far from the first red-headed companion the Doctor's traveled with. There's that one woman-I forget her name- and there's myself, of course."

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Oh, you've met vampires too? Are they the sparkly ones like me or the dark broody ones like Vishous?"

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"They were actually, um, fish," Rory explained, with a vaguely apologetic gesture - yeah, I know how it sounds, trust me. "Well, aliens. Alien fish-people. With perception filters."

...and then he realised what George had said, and got behind the table, quickly. "Wait, you - you're a..."

Did he have any weapons? Well, there was the table. He could try to break a leg off it, maybe. Before getting his throat ripped out.

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Well, that's strange. I certainly never heard of fish vampires," George said, mulling it over. "That's very strange. Oh well. I'm George!" he said, holding out a hand. "Careful, my hand's cold."

[gourmetchairman.livejournal.com]

"Hardly anyone wants to be here at first, but give it time. You'll be used to it."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

That was... not as reassuring as it had probably been meant to be. "No offence, and everything," Rory said, carefully, "but I'd rather not be here long enough to get used to it. I've sort of got a wedding to get to. Er, where exactly are we?"

[gourmetchairman.livejournal.com]

"Rest assured, young man, when the powers that be decide to let you go home, it will be like you never left it. At least, that's what I've heard from those returning. To answer your question, you're in 2010 Scotland. Specifically, a school called Hogwarts, where magic is taught."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"Everyone here has a magic wand," I say, crossing my arms over my chest. "Horses are not as common. And, being a nurse does not predicate being useful."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well, it -" Rory realised he didn't actually have a devaststing comeback lined up, and finished rather less confidently with "Doesn't make me not useful, either. And anyway -" rallying a little "- what would you hve put, then?"

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"I asked what's to prove they aren't?" I reply, raising an eyebrow. "It's a good thing you're not a doctor. One would have to worry about your patients, though it is questionable how long they'd last."

[tako-time.livejournal.com]

It would be news to Tako that being checked up and checked out were not the same thing.

"So, what do you think?" He arranged his eight arms in the best bombshell position he could muster. "Hubba-hubba, am I right?"

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"Er..." Rory backed away a little. Okay, there were no big pointy teeth this time, but still, alien talking octopus thing that was trying to... flirt with him, apparently.

He really wished the Doctor was here.

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

"Rory Williams, you change that bar name this instant!" She'd have seemed a lot more intimidating if she weren't laughing.

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"Amy!" Rory started laughing too out of sheer relief. Amy, alive, and all right and apparently not felt up by zombies. "Sorry, I - I would, but I think I've upset the pen."

He reached out to hug her. "I am so glad to see you."

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

Kuronue liked getting in people's space bubbles.

This one was horribly human and, oh hey, blond. He didn't like blonds, since most he'd met seemed to be dicks, but still. "What's an NHS?" he asked, sniffing at him. "And what's wrong with pervy zombies? Better than other kinds. You know, the flesh eating kinds." His wings flapped a little in his amusement of this new one.

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"...National Health Service," Rory explained, trying to back away and survey the room for potential weapons again without being too obvious about it. He was probably failing at that last part. At least he wasn't going to bother with a cross this time (though at the back of his mind was the dark thought that if he didn't, this would turn out to be the one time it would have worked.) "And I'd - rather not have zombies at all, thanks."

[sincethe900s.livejournal.com]

"Oh, do you think you got here by dying?" The "castle of zombies" bit had caught Holy Roman Empire's attention. He might be projecting too much onto the context, though. "Don't worry, I don't think it's true," he attempted to console Rory. "There are plenty of people in the castle who are just fine. And you still feel very alive, right?"

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"...no, I don't think that." He was bemused for a moment, until he realised what the boy must be talking about. The zombies had almost slipped his mind now they had competition. "I'm sure I'd remember being dead."

Except that he hadn't when... but that was a dream, right? Wonderful. Something else to worry about. And this was a morbid conversation to be having with a little kid.

He crouched down, to be at a better eye level. "This is all just a bit weird for me. I'm Rory, what's your name?"

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

"Eaten by fish?" Codex normally hemmed and hawwed and stammered when meeting new people, especially when out of her room comfort zone, but this was important. "What do you know about people getting eaten by fish?"

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

Rory blinked. "Well, they were aliens. Alien fish-people that looked like vampires. I mean, unless their perception filters were off, then they looked like big ...shrimpy things. Their home planet was destroyed, so they were going to flood Venice and take it over." He tried to give this explanation in a tone suggesting it all made perfect sense. This didn't really succeed.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"A checkup!" The Hat sounded positively gleeful. "I haven't had one of those in at least a millennium! But...do you think we could skip the part where I turn my head and cough? I really don't like people sticking their fingers in my orifice. Heads, yes -- they're nice and round and comfy." It nestled down a bit further onto Rory's head to demonstrate. "But fingers are just too pointy, and after all the damage caused by that wretched Gryffindor sword several years back, well...I'd just prefer to stick to heads, thank you very much!"

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

...okay, Rory was just going to try very hard not to think of the implications of this. At least not until he'd finally escaped the room. "Er, yeah. Yeah, we can skip that. The thing is I'm - I'm not really qualified to treat hats."

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

So long, and thanks for all the Viagra!

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Gryffindor!