http://chinasorrows.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] chinasorrows.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] hh_mirror2010-04-14 02:39 pm

Applicant: China Sorrows (Derek Landy's 'Skulduggery Pleasant', series)

((OOC: In the Skulduggery Pleasant canon, when a person first sees China Sorrows, they fall instantly in love. The ability isn't gender bias, it will affect men and women equally. In addition, within the canon, is the susceptibility to control somone once their name is known. These abilities may or may not affect the characters at Hogwarts if that is the mun's preference. If you think it will be fun to play into it, e.g. to let a character fall for China, then you'll need to let me know through OOC or pm. For more information on China, check her user profile. Her mun.))

China Sorrows; her hair, black as deepest sin, framed her face while her eyes, as pale as her brother’s had been, scanned the sorting room. The heavy doors closed behind her with a soft fwump. The skirt she wore was a light green, and the jacket was of a green deeper than a thousand crushed emeralds. Her necklace was exquisite, having cost two very fine men their lives. At times, she wore it as a tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, she wore it because it went well with the skirt.

China walked to the desk at the far end of the room, situated below the large arched windows that overlooked the lush grounds of the castle. When she sat down in the chair the quill, having been unanimated next to a scruffy piece of parchment, became animated, standing at attention on its gold-point. China eyed it. A small smile graced her lips. She noticed that as she leant in to read the parchment, the quill was slowly turning clockwise on the desktop, grinding into the grain. Curious, she thought.

At the parchment’s top it explained that any verbal answers would be written down by the quill. The addendum and questions were all written in the elegant, Edwardian script. She was intrigued. She read on.


State your full name.

“China Sorrows,” she said. She eyed the quill as it matched her word, for word. It scratched away at the parchment, matching the looping Edwardian script of the listed questions.

1. What is your favourite cheese? Why is it your favourite?

“I enjoy Durrus cheese. It has a mild flavour and a creamy taste that becomes stronger and fruitier as it ages,” she said. “I prefer it at its peak.”

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

As self-professed by China, she was neutral, and would remain so. “I am a collector. I am an observer. My resources, and my standing, must be in order before I’d commit myself to a vexatious endeavour like murder. My apologies.”

3. What time is it where you are?

She wasn’t sure, because where she was, was at this desk, answering silly questions. “It’s dark.”

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

She gave the question some thought, because even though it meant nothing to her, it must’ve some meaning and need for someone else. “I don’t know these people, but if this Albus came back from the dead, he’d no doubt be a vampire or a heart-beat challenged significant other like a zombie, and I’d suspect his interests in sexual harassment would be nil.”

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Arachne’s Chalice,” she expressed.

However, China wouldn’t be bartender. She thought that any endeavour into being one, would become too much; her clients as it stands were a handful -- with expressions and proclamations of intense, true love and whirlwind passion. It happened to get old, quick.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

China tapped a manicured nail on the desk, starring at the question. She couldn’t recall any homosexual marriage based stories in mythology, but she did know that certain species of animals did participate in homosexual acts, humans for one, dragonflies and hyenas for another. “I don’t know these people, so I can’t express a well enough analysis, and without knowing if Harry is a monogamist, or polygamist, I’m sure either of Fred and George would be adequate for his obvious... needs and feelings.”

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

China sat back in the chair, letting her hands rest over the arms. She smoothed her forefinger and thumb together slowly, as if stroking invisible dollar bills. “I suspect you’re a bit dim. Frankly, I would have discovered ages ago that students were magically adding to the pile. I suppose for a lark.”

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

“I’m sure you’ll soon see my usefulness,” she expressed.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

She didn’t let it show, but China was taken aback by the final question. She composed herself. She wasn’t in the habit of offering up her possessions as bribery. Bribery she was adept in, though her means normally ended up in her associate offering the item with good graces and love. She understood she didn’t have to offer something she owned, but what else did she have on her? She chose the one thing on her person she could be without. From her jacket pocket, China took out a small service-like bell and placed it on the desk. Its handle had been weathered by the elements, and grew fungi within its wood. The bell itself was perfectly preserved, silver and reflective; it couldn’t be damaged by time. It was the bell used to summon the Sea Hag of Glendalough. The Hag had a spiteful personality, and if she remembered corrected, kept asking her visitors if they wanted to drown, as casually as if she were asking if they wanted tea with their biscuit.

She would welcome suggestions but wouldn’t be inclined to care. She looked at the bells silver surface, gave herself a once-over, and waited.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus  faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __China Sorrows__
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __China Sorrows__.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __China Sorrows__.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __China Sorrows__"

[identity profile] shoggies.livejournal.com 2010-04-20 10:01 am (UTC)(link)
"Some of the Great Masters have such looong and hard to say names," Shoggy 23 told China. It watched expectantly as she tried the tea- disgusting her wasn't its intent of course, but, it was still entirely unaware that she found anything wrong with it. The attention of the other two Shoggies was riveted on the chicken bucket as it arrived- Shoggy 16.5 started drooling a bit, sending a cloud of acidic fumes up from the hole it slowly burned in the carpet. The house-elf put the chicken in front of the Shoggies and vanished- and given the speed with which Shoggies 6 and 16.5 set on it, it was probably good that it had gotten out of the way quickly.

Shoggy 23 liked chicken as much as any other Shoggies, but, it didn't rush the bucket and begin enveloping pieces of it whole like the other two did. "The Hat. . ." The Shoggy strained its memory for just what the talking hat did. "The sooo cool Hat. . . it. . .Sorted us? I think it was called Sorting us. Sorting us was giving us a house!" It seemed to shrink up a bit as it quivered slightly, thinking extremely hard for a Shoggy. It really was a challenge, given they didn't actually have the intelligence to properly 'think' at all. "I think that people said what house they wanted to give us." Unfortunately, the Shoggies never did 'get' Sorting, and, although Shoggy 23 realized that there was something that it could possibly do, it was still not quite grasping that Shoggies could vote at Sortings. "And there's maybe something that we are supposed to do. . ."

[identity profile] shoggies.livejournal.com 2010-04-21 11:09 am (UTC)(link)
If a Shoggy's amorphous non-features could bear an expression of smitten devotion, they deepened all the more when China thanked it- actual signs of appreciation weren't something Shoggies were used to getting. Engineered slaves didn't get a thanks, usually. There wasn't a reason for it. But, the Shoggies did have a small component of individuality, and this affected Shoggy 23's very much. It had found its Mastress, as far as it was concerned, and would have agreed that it was now her Shoggy. And that this was 'sooo cool'. The other two Shoggies, unafflicted with a Shoggy version of love, were fully occupied with enveloping pices of chicken, of which there were very few remaining.

"Yes, that might be it, Mastress!" said Shoggy 23. "I think people said what house we should have. I don't know if we're supposed to say what house you get, but, if we can, you should get. . ." It had to dig around through the morass of Shoggy memory to the recall the name of the only house it knew- good at recalling acts and sounds, but not much else. "Hufflepuff House," it said after a moment, having managed to extract the information from some sort of Shoggy replay. "It is the house that was given to us, Mastress! It's soo cool. It's has a food libraries!"

[identity profile] shoggies.livejournal.com 2010-04-22 10:49 am (UTC)(link)
Shoggy 23 would have been happy to explain that a 'food libraries' was the name of what amounted to a grocery store in the Hufflepuff common area- it had this unfortunate name due to having been named by a couple of Scandinavian musicians with a questionable command of English.

"There are lots of others who have Hufflepuff house too. I don't know what the other houses are named, but you can go in them. And stay in any one that you want to. And some are more like houses than towers. And one's underground, in the dungeon. It's sooo cool down there, nice and dark." The Shoggy didn't quite understand the school's house system- it thought of the Houses as places, and, thought they were some sort of shared properly between those who they were 'given' to. But, even if it had known the names of the other houses, and something more of their purpose, it would have put her in Hufflepuff in hopes of sharing a house with its newly adopted 'Mastress'.

[identity profile] shoggies.livejournal.com 2010-04-23 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
"If you don't like the house you are given, we can make you a room, Mastress China!" The other two Shoggies heard this mention of construction, and most of their eyes swiveled back to the conversation. "We're sooo good at building," Shoggy 6 told her. "We've built cities and temples and giant triangles and statues and all sorts of things." "We're building a Dethtower outside!" added Shoggy 16.5. "And we built a Dethtub!" Both these projects had been named by four Shoggies belonging to the guitarists of Dethklok at the advice of the singer.

Shoggy 23 took advantage of the distraction of the other two to snag the last remaining piece of chicken, which it enveloped in a gulp, followed by the bucket itself. Shoggies were not very picky about their food. Even a lovestruck Shoggy retained its primary instincts, which mostly involved eating things. "We could make you a room, or whatever else you like," confirmed Shoggy 23 after it had finished with the chicken. "And it'll be sooo cool!" The Shoggies were indeed master builders, as it was what they were made to do, but, they tended to build on a 'cyclopean' scale, and use many 'non-euclidean' angles in their work. Their skill at building habitations for humans was questionable, as the results of the Dethtub project (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1905527.html#cutid1) attested to.