Applicant: China Sorrows (Derek Landy's 'Skulduggery Pleasant', series)

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

((OOC: In the Skulduggery Pleasant canon, when a person first sees China Sorrows, they fall instantly in love. The ability isn't gender bias, it will affect men and women equally. In addition, within the canon, is the susceptibility to control somone once their name is known. These abilities may or may not affect the characters at Hogwarts if that is the mun's preference. If you think it will be fun to play into it, e.g. to let a character fall for China, then you'll need to let me know through OOC or pm. For more information on China, check her user profile. Her mun.))

China Sorrows; her hair, black as deepest sin, framed her face while her eyes, as pale as her brother’s had been, scanned the sorting room. The heavy doors closed behind her with a soft fwump. The skirt she wore was a light green, and the jacket was of a green deeper than a thousand crushed emeralds. Her necklace was exquisite, having cost two very fine men their lives. At times, she wore it as a tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, she wore it because it went well with the skirt.

China walked to the desk at the far end of the room, situated below the large arched windows that overlooked the lush grounds of the castle. When she sat down in the chair the quill, having been unanimated next to a scruffy piece of parchment, became animated, standing at attention on its gold-point. China eyed it. A small smile graced her lips. She noticed that as she leant in to read the parchment, the quill was slowly turning clockwise on the desktop, grinding into the grain. Curious, she thought.

At the parchment’s top it explained that any verbal answers would be written down by the quill. The addendum and questions were all written in the elegant, Edwardian script. She was intrigued. She read on.


State your full name.

“China Sorrows,” she said. She eyed the quill as it matched her word, for word. It scratched away at the parchment, matching the looping Edwardian script of the listed questions.

1. What is your favourite cheese? Why is it your favourite?

“I enjoy Durrus cheese. It has a mild flavour and a creamy taste that becomes stronger and fruitier as it ages,” she said. “I prefer it at its peak.”

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

As self-professed by China, she was neutral, and would remain so. “I am a collector. I am an observer. My resources, and my standing, must be in order before I’d commit myself to a vexatious endeavour like murder. My apologies.”

3. What time is it where you are?

She wasn’t sure, because where she was, was at this desk, answering silly questions. “It’s dark.”

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

She gave the question some thought, because even though it meant nothing to her, it must’ve some meaning and need for someone else. “I don’t know these people, but if this Albus came back from the dead, he’d no doubt be a vampire or a heart-beat challenged significant other like a zombie, and I’d suspect his interests in sexual harassment would be nil.”

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

“Arachne’s Chalice,” she expressed.

However, China wouldn’t be bartender. She thought that any endeavour into being one, would become too much; her clients as it stands were a handful -- with expressions and proclamations of intense, true love and whirlwind passion. It happened to get old, quick.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

China tapped a manicured nail on the desk, starring at the question. She couldn’t recall any homosexual marriage based stories in mythology, but she did know that certain species of animals did participate in homosexual acts, humans for one, dragonflies and hyenas for another. “I don’t know these people, so I can’t express a well enough analysis, and without knowing if Harry is a monogamist, or polygamist, I’m sure either of Fred and George would be adequate for his obvious... needs and feelings.”

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

China sat back in the chair, letting her hands rest over the arms. She smoothed her forefinger and thumb together slowly, as if stroking invisible dollar bills. “I suspect you’re a bit dim. Frankly, I would have discovered ages ago that students were magically adding to the pile. I suppose for a lark.”

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

“I’m sure you’ll soon see my usefulness,” she expressed.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

She didn’t let it show, but China was taken aback by the final question. She composed herself. She wasn’t in the habit of offering up her possessions as bribery. Bribery she was adept in, though her means normally ended up in her associate offering the item with good graces and love. She understood she didn’t have to offer something she owned, but what else did she have on her? She chose the one thing on her person she could be without. From her jacket pocket, China took out a small service-like bell and placed it on the desk. Its handle had been weathered by the elements, and grew fungi within its wood. The bell itself was perfectly preserved, silver and reflective; it couldn’t be damaged by time. It was the bell used to summon the Sea Hag of Glendalough. The Hag had a spiteful personality, and if she remembered corrected, kept asking her visitors if they wanted to drown, as casually as if she were asking if they wanted tea with their biscuit.

She would welcome suggestions but wouldn’t be inclined to care. She looked at the bells silver surface, gave herself a once-over, and waited.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus  faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __China Sorrows__
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __China Sorrows__.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __China Sorrows__.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __China Sorrows__"

Comments

[yggdrasilgnawer.livejournal.com]

((Just FYI, you ought to give players the option to not have their characters automatically be affected, so as to avoid god modding. Something I've had to be very careful with as well, playing an empath and a mind-controlling dragon, among others. :) In case you're a new player—It's generally assumed that something at Hogwarts somehow dampens or completely voids otherwise god moddy powers, but there's often plot-specific exceptions made between players.))

Recognising power in its many forms and possessing an innate understanding of it did not necessarily mean controlling it, but when one happened to be a serpent more ancient than the world to which he'd been summoned, it did have certain advantages. Namely that, regardless of the potency of the magic, it would take a little more than a pretty woman fluttering her lashes at him to manipulate his emotions, such as they were.

The enchantment itself was the sort of thing those petty Æsir would probably appreciate, Nidhögg thought. Needless to say, this did not endear the applicant to him.

Such was the dragon's size that he could wedge no more than his head in through a window on these rare occasions when he paid the castle a visit. His head was covered with aquatic plant life from the lake he'd been inhabiting; stringy, slimy moss hung from his crown of large horns as well as his snout, giving him a bearded appearance, and bits of seaweed seemed to be sprouting right from his hard scabrous scales. There were more than a few dead and rotting creatures impaled along the length of his serpentine body, lending him the familiar reek of putrefaction that he'd been missing since coming here. He tilted his head, one lambent eye fixed on the woman.

"What is the significance of the trinket you've offered?" he inquired in a voice like the low rumbling of thunder, an unusual resonance to it as though he were speaking several languages at once.

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

((Hey, sorry about that, I didn't mean to come across as godmodding, heh. I wasn't aware actually, I've been around for a month or so but certain things are still unknown to me, I can't seem to find specifics. But yes, not a problem. In the canon many aren't susceptible to her, normally because they know her and have stronger wills, which I'm sure many of the characters here posses. :D But thanks, I shall re-work my OOC to incorporate what you've suggested! XD))

It was safe to say many would have reacted in a less than fashionable way to this, but China kept her cool, the way she had learned from hundreds of years experience. She was more curious than petrified. Perhaps that was a flaw in her character? She started a few steps towards the dragon, serpent, reptilian creature that it was.

She was paying attention to her surroundings as she stared intently into Nidhögg's eyes. She felt the ebb and flow of her magic, and the feeling of it being compartmentalized. She felt her magic draining, but not to a vulnerable state. She knew as her eyes met the serpent, that certain aspects of her charms had been depleted. She would investigate this later.

"It belonged to the Sea Hag of Glendalough lake. I believe that it may serve as a means to a servant."

She blatantly left out the fact that the Sea Hag had a tendency to attack without much provocation, and to only under sufferance divulge information. It was something she had on her at the time, but felt that whomever took it, wouldn't survive the night.

But she purposefully left this out. Just good business.

[mnemosyneeater.livejournal.com]

Apos wandered over from the scene of his own application and looked at the bell. If it had a significance it was lost on him, he was more interested in the girl whom had offered it. He placed his hands on the table, leaned forward and tilted his head at her. His tone was light, conversational even. "China Sorrows. That's a beautiful name to go with a beautiful collector." He reached forward, wanting to touch the mounds of flesh on her chest much larger than his own.

He could feel the touch of manipulation about her, trying to control him, but as he lacked such human emotions -- lust, love, hate, sorrow, anger -- whatever it was seemed to pass him by. Only two things mattered to him; beauty and amusement.

China was amusing. China was beautiful.

He wanted her power for himself, the one he was used to having but didn't seem to work here as, unfortunately, no one was an immortal in the same respect as they had been in his own plane of reality.

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

China smiled. Under the surface, however, she felt a guardedness towards the newcomer. He made her feel uneasy, restless. She didn't like that, at all. She stared at him for a moment and smiled again. "My apologies," she said. "I seem to have forgotten my manners. Thank you, and you're name is?"

She rose from the desk and side-stepped around it, facing Apos. She left the bell on the desk, the light catching on the silver surface. Even if some fool wanted to steal it, it would be no loss to her.

[shoggies.livejournal.com]

A trio of pink, amorphous abominations comprised of random organs and eyeballs, Shoggies 6, 16.5, and 23 to be precise, had been been wandering around the school, and on passing the Sorting Room, recalled that it was the room where they'd received an abundance of chicken and paper hats on their arrival to Hogwarts. "Sooo cool! It's the chicken and hats room again!" exclaimed Shoggy 6. It pointed at China Sorrows with a pseudopod it had suddenly sprouted. "Maybe it'll have chicken and hats!"

A few seconds later, there were three small unspeakable (and unspeakably stupid) beings blinking up at China Sorrows, looking extremely hopeful. They hadn't even glanced at China's application, having a dubious understanding at best as to the purpose of the Sorting Room. Even if they had understood it, they wouldn't have had the attention span to bother deciphering applications. "Hi there! Are there chicken and hats today?" asked Shoggy 16.5, as if this was something a person suddenly displaced to Hogwarts should know about. "There's chicken and hats sometimes," Shoggy 6 told her, adding, "Are you a cultist?" This wasn't exactly a perceptive question on the Shoggy's part- Hogwarts was the only place where their experiences with humanity had extended much beyond encounters with cultists and investigators. Who were, for the most part, tasty.

Shoggy 23, however, merely stared at China Sorrows, several eyes open wide with amazement. Most of the time, the Shoggies were immune to Hogwarts magic and various forms of charms. Perhaps it was something involving the alignment of the stars, or perhaps it had eaten something laced with a love potion in the past which was now activated by China's presence, but whatever it was, she'd had her usual effect on it. "Sooo cool!" it finally said, its weird piping voice managing to sound breathlessly smitten. "Mastress is beautiful!" It continued to gaze up at her in awe, while the other two Shoggies extolled the deliciousness of the chicken they'd received at their Sorting.

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

She was immediately grossed out at the sight of these pink things. They looked like something like snot and jelly crossed with a cow-pie and gravel. They brought up images of scraping gum from the underside of a shoe. She repressed the urge to vomit and cringe at their sight. She stepped back some, fearing they may ruin a pair of favourite shoes.

She cleared her throat. "Chickens? Hats?" she stared at the Shoggies, trying hard not to show her disgust but falling short, her smile was off and looked more like a weak grimace.

Then she looked at Shoggy 23 and raised an eyebrow. It was staring at her like the others did, do. She knew the look well even when an amorphous glob of goo was wearing it, there was the faintest hint of features.

Admiration.

She didn't know what to do about this, or how to react. Mastress? That had an oddly nice sound to it, even with its peculiar vocal pitch. She hunkered down, resting her hands on her knees as she looked at the Shoggies 6, 16.5, and 23. "Hello. I am a cultist," she ventured. "My name is China Sorrows. What can you tell me about this place?"

She looked more intensely at Shoggy 23, feeling her stomach flip-flop and threaten to bring up lunch. She smiled, much more genially than before. "It would be an awful big help to know where I am. Can, well," she smiled, looking away from Shoggy 23 and then finally looking it in the eyes. "Can you tell me?" she smiled appreciatively.

[sincethe900s.livejournal.com]

Holy Roman Empire only got as far as "State your full name" before this newcomer aroused his suspicions. He frowned and challenged, "I don't think you are China. I believe you're an impostor."

He based his skepticism solely off the fact that she didn't feel like a nation. Well, in his defense, he'd never paid much attention to the other nation because China wasn't Italy and hadn't tried to undermine his empire.

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

China stared at the bizarre little man, and found herself feeling contempt towards him. She crossed her arms, she stared down at him with her pale-blue's.

She retorted, "I don't think you are at liberty to determine who I am if you don't know me, it says rather frankly that my name is China, and for any disagreement to that, you need to consult an optometrist. I would thank you very much to rewire your brain to mouth filter before accusing others of being impostors." She regarded Holy Roman with a look that suggested he held a diseased nature.

[rat-bstrd.livejournal.com]

((hope you don't mind if Rat falls a little in love.))

"Sorrows? Seriously? That's your name?" he started out in characteristic bluntness.

He paused and blushed. "It's not a bad name I mean. You're a pyrotechnic? That's impressive. I mean my sister can do some psychokinesis but it's hard."

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

((Not at all.))

She looked at Rat and smiled.

It had been liberating to not have her enchantment up, and if Skulduggery heard of this she thought he'd very well die again. But this boy, he seemed to have been touched, even in the most minuscule way, by her gift. This deserved some research.

"Yes. Yes it is. I thank you for you're opinion Mr.?" she let the conversation hang, rolling the 'r' in an appreciative way. She didn't quite understand this man, he was very interesting. She may have to delve deeper to find out more. She wasn't one for idle small talk, but if it lead her to acquiring something old, something valuable, small talk had its perks.

[drunkexguardian.livejournal.com]

((Assuming Lee's status as former angel and current Magistrate of a possibly magic city offers some protection. This may get discarded if comedic or dramatic effect is imminent, with your permission :-P ))

Lee raised an eyebrow. "Hey there, China Sorrows. I'm Guam Terminally-Pissed-Off. Y'know, generally when you're asked to prove something, it means you give your answer pretty immediately instead of vaguely hinting at something that might never happen. Some might think to call bullshit on you otherwise."

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

((Sure, no problem. ♥))

She stared at Lee, her eyes showing contempt but her mouth smiling as she did. "Hello," she said. She wasn't going to repeat her last name, frankly it was an ill name. She found it rather stupid, but didn't convey her opinion.

"I don't believe in showing a degree of competency to a piece of old parchment, and an enchanted quill. If anyone wants a demonstration at my usefulness, patience will need to be their virtue." China said.

"If you need an example, just ask." She smiled sweetly.

[pullo-xiii.livejournal.com]

((Lee's player here, I started feeling guilty about sending you my third-biggest bitch of a character, so here's someone nicer! Sort of. At least he's friendly!))

Pullo needed no extra powers to fall instantly in lust with any beautiful women who passed by, but this was different. This was more like when he first saw Eirene, except she wasn't dirty and tied to a cart. Still, the same pleasant, calming feeling was there. "Hello, my dove." He smiled winningly at her. "Welcome to Hogwarts, eh?"

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

((Haha! No that's cool, China wasn't exactly winning 'Best Personality' -- Edited for typos.))

China turned to smile at Pullo. When their eyes met, her smile grew. "Hello," her voice dripped with passion.

She appraised Pullo and laughed inwardly. He reminded her of the foul, troughs-smelling medieval peasants. It was ... she cleared her mind to make her smile genuine.

"Thank you, very much. You've just made it one," she beamed. "My name's China, what's yours?"

[lemondrop-party.livejournal.com]

A strange thing happened.

Albus Dumbledore began to feel ... heterosexual?

"Hello, young miss." The grandfatherly twinkle in his eye seemed less grandfatherly than usual.

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

China had been sifting the necklace through her fingers when Albus appeared. She put the necklace down on the desk and smiled up at him. She felt it best to stand, this man had seem magic and befell the sting of father time. It was only courteous.

"Hello sir," China said sweetly. "I'm China Sorrows, it's a pleasure to meet you....?" She waited for his reply.

[beyourvalentine.livejournal.com]

This woman was...nothing like Lucrecia. An yet...his body reacted to her, and his heart (what was left of it) wavered in her presence.

He placed the tip of his golden clawed fingers on the desk as he read the application, the lower half of his face hidden by the high collar of his cloak. He looked up to her, his expression for once showing something more than his stoic mask. There was...adoration, perhaps, in his eyes.

"Nightmares come back to life all the time," he said in a deep voice, his eyes dropping to the table again. Guilt flushed through him. He should have stopped Sephiroth. His could-be son had died and lived again too many times to count. And if that constant smirk of his was anything to go by, death was not the only thing on Sephiroth's mind.

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

She tented her fingers in her lap, crossing her legs under her dress. She sized up Vincent, noting a certain air to him that made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. He seemed to have a substance to him that made her recollect vampires, the same induced wariness pitted in her stomach while he hovered. She smiled though, because she knew the seeds of her enchantment were being sowed, just by looking into those deep eyes.

"What do you mean by that, sir?" She queried, keeping her sultry voice low and course, like sex in the wake of a hot, dry, summer's night.

[catcherandrye.livejournal.com]

Aoi came to stand beside the woman. He stared, but not because he found her attractive.

He had deduced that she had a sharp mind, given her vocabulary and perhaps even she'd seen many many things as he too had. He stared at her collarbones then over her shoulder, never once meeting her eyes. He never looked any one in the eye.

"Do you...read a lot?" he asked.

He looked like a teenage boy, but his skin was too perfect to be real and his hair too fake. His eyes were the eyes of a dolls. Glassy, unseeing.

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

China took in Aoi and tilted her head slightly. She tugged her leather jacket around her a bit more, to cover up her breasts. She had a wariness with young boys now. What was the media doing to these minds, these days?

"I do," she expressed. Smiling, as she did, sensing her enchantment on this boy. She found herself lingering on his eyes, even though he didn't match her glance, she saw the glassiness. She brought the wariness to the forefront of her mind. He may not be dead, or a vampire, and she didn't intuitively feel he was dangerous, like Apos. But she senses something about him that set her nerves on edge. He could have just been a bizarre child, the world was known for procuring such children. Not every boy was crazed and psychotic. But she kept her cards to her chest, making sure. Deductions, and first impressions, only established so much.

[pixie-jenks.livejournal.com]

Jenks had been having a great time in the Sorting Room lately, so when a house elf informed him someone new had arrived, he had to investigate. A terrific sneeze propelled him suddenly backward and nearly into the door he had just come through.

"Turn take it, witch! Be more careful with those spells!" he grumbled, recovering enough to light on China's application. Another great sneeze nearly toppled him over as he read.

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

China looked down at the pixie and blanched. "Need a tissue?" she said dryly. She didn't much understand this magical insect, and hoped that once his nose was blown, it would squeak out something more understandable. From her jacket she took out a silk embroidered handkerchief, extending it out for the pixie to use.

[good-golly-day.livejournal.com]

Catherine Sheffield Marquet Dollanganger had not blessed the Sorting Room with her presence in quite some time. She'd converted her room in Tootsietramp to look like an attic, even finding another twin bed to push up against the windows. She'd decorated the walls with construction paper birds, hanging from strings so that they could fly. And she'd practiced her ballet, even though there was no one but herself to admire the fact that, only a few teensey weensey little years past thirty, she was, as the kids say, still a MILF.

But she'd finally emerged and was now in the Sorting Room, planning to offer the boon of her friendship to some needy soul.

Her gaze had fastened on China right away. The woman was beautiful, dark where Cathy was blonde, and Cathy suddenly thought that they would make a lovely picture, draped all over each other, dark and light together.

"Golly lolly," she murmured reverently, staring with the same kind of adoration she normally reserved for people she was closely related to at the other woman. "You're almost as pretty as I am."

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

China was in the midst of her third, or fourth, wardrobe change when Catherine had come to her desk. China was wearing a white, pin-striped shirt, under a deep red cotton vest, and black, wide-legged, pin-stripped pants and matching stilettos. China was finishing the look off with twisting her long raven-black hair up, and clipping it into place when she was aware of Catherine's somewhat perky presence. Perky people always unnerved China, no-one was ever perky, not to Catherine's obvious intensity.

China mindfully closed Albus' copy of Hogwarts: A History that lay on the desk as she addressed Catherine. She took note of the implementation of 'almost' and narrowed her eyes. She smiled. "Well, thank you." I guess. "My name's China Sorrows, what is yours?"

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

The Hat, of course, was immune to China's abilities to make it fall in love with her. It perched on top of her head and asked, with no preamble whatsoever, "So tell me... What's your favorite kind of hat?" Clearly, there was a correct answer.

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

China wasn't in the best of moods. Her bum was going numb, her back was getting sore, and the cause of all this was the waiting for this Hat to arrive.

"Oh look, the talking bonnet has arrived," she muttered nun too softly. The Hat stank of stale fabric and fermentation. She wrinkled her nose. "I don't wear hats." She expressed, crossing her arms.

Slytherin!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted!

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