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hh_mirror2009-10-24 05:05 pm
i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com) wrote in hh_mirror2009-10-24 05:05 pm
Entry tags:
Muggle Studies
((Jasper's inclusion with permission and additions of his player. If you require Vlad's attention, please say something to this extent in the comment subject line so I don't somehow miss it, thanks!))
The Baron Vladimir Harkonnen wanted his first class to be practical and entertaining, so he had chosen "An Introduction to Muggle Weaponry" as the topic. In order to make the class interesting, he'd decided it would be a hands-on experience, and had negotiated with Basher Tarr to obtain an assortment of Muggle weapons, mainly a quantity of AK-47 assault rifles, along with plenty of ammunition. These had been marked with stenciled letters declaring them "Property of the Muggle Studies Department", and were now stacked up neatly on a table at the front of the room, near some crates bearing the same lettering, and a rocket launcher. A section of the room had been magically expanded, and turned into an indoor firing range, complete with human-shaped targets, and the usual classroom area was equipped with rows of neatly-lined desks.
The Baron remained in a large, comfortable chair at the front of the classroom, his assistant Jasper beside him, and chatted quietly with him about a few details of the lesson plan as he waited for the last students to arrive and seat themselves at the desks. When it seemed that no more were going to appear, he floated up and shut the door with a flick of his wand. The deep, melodic basso of his voice carried easily over the chatter.
"Welcome to Muggle Studies. The subject we'll be covering today is potentially dangerous, so pay attention!"This declaration was accompanied by one of his disarmingly cherubic smiles. "The first thing that you need to know about Muggles is that even though they often are extremely silly, they are still capable of wreaking havoc and destruction. It's one of their favorite activities, but somehow, they still haven't managed to obliterate themselves. As there are a great deal more of them than there are of us, even though their methods are often crude, in a war of attrition, the wizarding world might have a problem. So, today I am going to familiarize you with some of the most commonly used weapons in current ground warfare."
He gestured at Jasper, who brought him an AK-47, which he held up and explained, "This is one of the most common Muggle weapons, the assault rifle. This model is the AK-47, a basic piece of artillery used by infantry. It was developed in the admirable nation of Russia, from which my own House claims ancient roots, and came into predominance shortly after the conflict known as World War II. It's operation is simple, and its main feature is that of selective firing modes- it can be operated either as semi- or fully automatic. In fully automatic mode, its range is shorter and less accurate, but as it is generally used in close confrontations, it is effective enough. The semi-automatic mode is more effective at a distance. This is not a very advanced weapon, but, it's still killed millions of Muggles." The Baron demonstrated loading a cartridge into the weapon, flicked off the safety, cocked the mechanism, and turned to fire a round through one of the lined-up targets, with perfect aim. He then flipped it to the fully automatic mode, and opened fire again at the same target- the spray of bullets was less accurate, but still shredded the target's torso region. "Magic or no, you don't want to find yourself surrounded by a horde of Muggles with these." He passed the AK-47 back to Jasper, and indicated the nearby boxes, and Jasper brought him a specimen of their contents after replacing the rifle.
"This is an M67 fragmentation grenade." He held up the grenade for the class to see. "This is a common anti-personnel weapon. It's a basic explosive, based upon filling the enemy with lethal bits of shrapnel. It's not a pleasant way to go. These are commonly used in ground combat, as, they are inexpensive to produce and easy to transport. Their effective radius is a mere 15 yards, and its lethal radius even less- but enough of these tossed into oncoming troops can be painful." With a smile, he removed the safety clip, pulled the pin, and tossed the grenade into a corner of the magically expanded area, where it exploded. The magically enlarged area was intentionally big enough that he could do this without maiming the students, although the nearby targets were mangled. "If those were people, they would not be feeling well now. The Muggles have several varieties of grenades, including concussion grenades that work best in enclosed areas, and incendiary grenades, designed to damage structures."
He drifted over to the rocket launcher, which he laid a hand on as he spoke. "And this little beauty is the M47 dragon, a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher. This model is slightly out of date, but effective. This weapon is primarily used against armored vehicles such as the tank, which unfortunately I have not been able to obtain yet. I'd demonstrate it, but, I'd prefer the walls to stay in one piece. However, if you attend the second portion of my class, you may have a chance to try it for yourself, along with the various sorts of grenades."
"Now, each of you will take one of these AK-47s, a cartridge of ammunition, and pair up with a partner. If you have experience with such weaponry, please find a less experienced student to assist. You will load the weapon, and you will attempt to hit one of these targets, while standing behind this line." He indicated a white line stretching in front of the targets. "You will try both modes, and learn the different feel of each one. And, you will not shoot each other with them. At this time." He grinned slightly, as he added, "Part two of the class is optional and will be held at a later date, but I encourage all of you to attend. We will be having a little Muggle-style war game on the grounds, and, you will be welcome to try and shoot each other then." A faint shimmer went up around the Baron as he flicked on his personal shield and settled back into his chair, watching for any that might need assistance. Jasper moved to join the students, ready to offer help as well or remove any troublemakers as needed. He didn't bother with any sort of shield, since getting shot didn't concern him.
The Baron Vladimir Harkonnen wanted his first class to be practical and entertaining, so he had chosen "An Introduction to Muggle Weaponry" as the topic. In order to make the class interesting, he'd decided it would be a hands-on experience, and had negotiated with Basher Tarr to obtain an assortment of Muggle weapons, mainly a quantity of AK-47 assault rifles, along with plenty of ammunition. These had been marked with stenciled letters declaring them "Property of the Muggle Studies Department", and were now stacked up neatly on a table at the front of the room, near some crates bearing the same lettering, and a rocket launcher. A section of the room had been magically expanded, and turned into an indoor firing range, complete with human-shaped targets, and the usual classroom area was equipped with rows of neatly-lined desks.
The Baron remained in a large, comfortable chair at the front of the classroom, his assistant Jasper beside him, and chatted quietly with him about a few details of the lesson plan as he waited for the last students to arrive and seat themselves at the desks. When it seemed that no more were going to appear, he floated up and shut the door with a flick of his wand. The deep, melodic basso of his voice carried easily over the chatter.
"Welcome to Muggle Studies. The subject we'll be covering today is potentially dangerous, so pay attention!"This declaration was accompanied by one of his disarmingly cherubic smiles. "The first thing that you need to know about Muggles is that even though they often are extremely silly, they are still capable of wreaking havoc and destruction. It's one of their favorite activities, but somehow, they still haven't managed to obliterate themselves. As there are a great deal more of them than there are of us, even though their methods are often crude, in a war of attrition, the wizarding world might have a problem. So, today I am going to familiarize you with some of the most commonly used weapons in current ground warfare."
He gestured at Jasper, who brought him an AK-47, which he held up and explained, "This is one of the most common Muggle weapons, the assault rifle. This model is the AK-47, a basic piece of artillery used by infantry. It was developed in the admirable nation of Russia, from which my own House claims ancient roots, and came into predominance shortly after the conflict known as World War II. It's operation is simple, and its main feature is that of selective firing modes- it can be operated either as semi- or fully automatic. In fully automatic mode, its range is shorter and less accurate, but as it is generally used in close confrontations, it is effective enough. The semi-automatic mode is more effective at a distance. This is not a very advanced weapon, but, it's still killed millions of Muggles." The Baron demonstrated loading a cartridge into the weapon, flicked off the safety, cocked the mechanism, and turned to fire a round through one of the lined-up targets, with perfect aim. He then flipped it to the fully automatic mode, and opened fire again at the same target- the spray of bullets was less accurate, but still shredded the target's torso region. "Magic or no, you don't want to find yourself surrounded by a horde of Muggles with these." He passed the AK-47 back to Jasper, and indicated the nearby boxes, and Jasper brought him a specimen of their contents after replacing the rifle.
"This is an M67 fragmentation grenade." He held up the grenade for the class to see. "This is a common anti-personnel weapon. It's a basic explosive, based upon filling the enemy with lethal bits of shrapnel. It's not a pleasant way to go. These are commonly used in ground combat, as, they are inexpensive to produce and easy to transport. Their effective radius is a mere 15 yards, and its lethal radius even less- but enough of these tossed into oncoming troops can be painful." With a smile, he removed the safety clip, pulled the pin, and tossed the grenade into a corner of the magically expanded area, where it exploded. The magically enlarged area was intentionally big enough that he could do this without maiming the students, although the nearby targets were mangled. "If those were people, they would not be feeling well now. The Muggles have several varieties of grenades, including concussion grenades that work best in enclosed areas, and incendiary grenades, designed to damage structures."
He drifted over to the rocket launcher, which he laid a hand on as he spoke. "And this little beauty is the M47 dragon, a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher. This model is slightly out of date, but effective. This weapon is primarily used against armored vehicles such as the tank, which unfortunately I have not been able to obtain yet. I'd demonstrate it, but, I'd prefer the walls to stay in one piece. However, if you attend the second portion of my class, you may have a chance to try it for yourself, along with the various sorts of grenades."
"Now, each of you will take one of these AK-47s, a cartridge of ammunition, and pair up with a partner. If you have experience with such weaponry, please find a less experienced student to assist. You will load the weapon, and you will attempt to hit one of these targets, while standing behind this line." He indicated a white line stretching in front of the targets. "You will try both modes, and learn the different feel of each one. And, you will not shoot each other with them. At this time." He grinned slightly, as he added, "Part two of the class is optional and will be held at a later date, but I encourage all of you to attend. We will be having a little Muggle-style war game on the grounds, and, you will be welcome to try and shoot each other then." A faint shimmer went up around the Baron as he flicked on his personal shield and settled back into his chair, watching for any that might need assistance. Jasper moved to join the students, ready to offer help as well or remove any troublemakers as needed. He didn't bother with any sort of shield, since getting shot didn't concern him.
no subject
"No, it wasn't a dildos idea, it was a goods one! I was just jealous because I didn'ts come up with it," Toki confessed, mainly to try and assuage Skwisgaar. "The Dethphones were a sort of dildos idea, except for killings lake-trolls." Which had to make up for their crappiness at least a bit, since without Murderface's well aimed throw, they'd presumably have been dinner for Mustakrakish. "But I don'ts know if all drunks ideas are bad, the drunks ideas from last night were fun. And I'm a bit drunks now, and, I knows not alls my ideas are bad. Likes going to the bedroom afters we go to the bar." He was pretty damn sure that at least was a good idea.
Toki did think that right now, getting more drunk was the right priority, and nodded to Skwisgaar about his 'codpiece'. "Yeah, I don'ts know wheres it is anyways, would takes a whiles to finds it." He really didn't feel like digging through his stuff right then, as, it wasn't very well-organized. That, and he couldn't see what possible use it could have, since he hadn't gotten to the sex toy component of his remedial sex-ed with Skwisgaar. He was trying to figure out why he should bother finding it all when Skwisgaar brought up the pretend fucking with Murderface- now it was his turn to feel a bit squeamish. "He'd better nots gets the boner!" Toki exclaimed, as Skwisgaar's hopes of jealousy definitely manifested. They'd never have see random groupies again, but, if he was to watch Skwisgaar screwing Murderface, even pretend screwing, he was pretty sure it was one of those thoughts that couldn't be washed away. And he'd have to remember it again every time he saw Murderface. "And I'ms not watchings that, then I'd haves to remember it! I don't sees why we can'ts just haves the pretend sex for the videos instead," he grumbled, looking even more sulky, and also a bit disturbed. Luckily, it wasn't the psychotic episode sort of disturbed.
The Shoggies all thanked "Master Skwisgaar-Dad" profusely when he told them they could have whatever they wanted, and Shoggy 10, who happened to be the nearest one, let out one of its happy little piping sounds at the petting. The Shoggies sometimes did actually sleep in their drawers, or at least pretended to, as Toki had discovered when going through them one day to find some socks. The apparently sleeping Shoggy had been weirdly cute in an inside-out cat sort of way, so he hadn't disturbed it. He scrambled to his feet as Skwisgaar pulled him up, coloring slightly at the stealth grope. It was definitely time to leave class, before he got tempted to start groping the Swede back, which sounded like it would be a lot of fun just then. He was all for skipping the bar and having drinks delivered to their room, but, they'd already promised the Shoggies, one of which was tugging at Toki's pants leg and exclaiming how it was going to get 'chickens and eyesball pizza'.
no subject
"But blacks armour would bes better, or something whats blends in with stuff likes de camels-flage," Skwisgaar said reluctantly, not quite buying Toki's sudden change of heart about his 'metal Elvis' armour idea, but privately smug about it anyway. At this point they could agree to have matching suits of invisible armour and he wouldn't much care; he was more interested in getting the good booze and then getting laid. "If yous pukes on me afters de bar, then wes knows drunks ideas am usually dildos," he amended. Since he couldn't argue about Dethphones being good weapons against lake Trolls, and had of course enjoyed their drunk ideas from the previous night, considering they'd mostly involved excessive amounts of sex. And something about a plane. Had he molested Toki with one of his models?
Skwisgaar did a rather poor job hiding his enjoyment of Toki's little outburst and sulking, assuming it might very well have stemmed from jealousy. He knew he shouldn't like it so much, but couldn't help himself. "But if I's has to suffers with de pretendings to likes fuckings him and lets him slobbers on me, yous should suffers too. Dats ams whats friends do. I thinks." Once they were out in the hallway, he quickly checked to make sure no one else was there (except for the Shoggies, of course) before backing Toki up against a wall and kissing him, hands going to his ass to grope him much more openly now. "Pretendings to fuck you woulds be better," he agreed, stating the obvious. At least then he wouldn't have to worry about getting pubic lice or crabs or something -- he'd just end up with an accidental boner himself, probably. "And fucking yous for reals in fronts of a camera mights be fun," he said next to Toki's ear, teasingly nipping his earlobe. "Then wes could watch it after."
He let Toki go and bent to pick up the Shoggy tugging at his pants leg, then pulled Toki along, heading for Ravenclaw. "Yous goofballs can helps carry somes of de booze," he informed the Shoggies, thinking they could just take a few bottles with them once the Shoggies had finished their chicken and eyeball pizzas and eyeball sandwiches. "Somes limes and salt too," he added, glancing at his bandmate with a smirk. "Yous ever dones body shots, little Toki?"
no subject
Toki thought that the camoflauge armor was a fantastic idea, and grinned broadly. "I thinks that the camels-flage armor's the bests idea! Then no ones will know that we're comings to shoots them." His increased enthusiasm carried across his genuine approval of the concept, and the Shoggies seemed to think it was pretty neat too, and Shoggy 3 piped in, "I wants the armor that turns me invisibles too!" Right at the moment, however, the bar sounded like the best idea, and then back to their room, where hopefully he wouldn't puke on Skwisgaar. "I'll tries not to pukes on you." Quietly, he added, "Because there's other things I wants to do on yous. Or maybe with yous on me. Or did we do that's last night. . ." He couldn't really remember what happened either, although he too seemed to recall something about model planes, and Skwisgaar's prefect hat. All he could remember was that whatever had happened, it had been a lot of fun. Else they probably would have gotten at least a few hours of sleep.
He listened to Skwisgaar's rationale about how he should have to watch him have to pretend-fuck Murderface as he stumbled along, and he had to admit that it did seem to make sense. "I thinks yous probablies right. . . I guess I gots to watch. Maybes they'll forgets abouts it if we don't reminds them." He couldn't dwell on the idea for very long, though, as he soon found himself up against a wall, getting kissed and delightfully groped by Skwisgaar. He didn't bother worrying about the possibility of someone appearing in the hall, since he'd been wanting to do this Skwisgaar during the entire class, and, so it took priority over sensibility. Toki reached around Skwisgaar and slipped his hands into his waistband, pulling him more closely as he nodded his agreement. "I thinks that woulds be lots better. . .but bets youds make me comes for real." The idea of privately recording themselves sounded like it could be pretty fun, and he nodded his assent tot his too. "That sounds like fun, I wants to see what it looks like when you fucks me."
The Shoggies were milling about their feet by the time that Skwisgaar picked up Shoggy 10, and Toki was a bit disappointed that he wasn't between Skwisgaar and a wall. But, he supposed they should get to the bar, and then they could go back to their room and screw around all they wanted. Toki picked up Shoggy 3, and the others followed along, all agreeing to help carry booze, and anything else they wanted them to carry. He'd presumed the same as Skwisgaar, and figured the trip to the bar would be a short one. Toki contemplated Skwisgaar's question a moment, and replied, "You means have I shots anyone? I's suppose so. . ." He presumed he had at least, but, had a feeling that he wasn't answering the question right. Skwisgaar's smirk suggested that he meant something else.
no subject
"We all gets de camels-flage armours then? And de Shoggies gets de Viking horns and little axes and stuff," Skwisgaar decided. At least that settled the argument about what to wear, and he was enjoying the fact Toki and the Shoggies had all seemed to genuinely like his idea, and weren't just humouring him. Camouflage maybe wasn't very metal, but sneaking up to put a bullet in someone's head kind of was -- still wasn't nearly as cool as using a sword or battle axe would be, though, in his opinion. Hopefully they could use more than just guns for the class.
"I hopes they dos forgets," he fervently agreed, for the moment forgetting he'd wanted to make Toki jealous. "Don'ts even wants to pretends to fuck dat guy evens if Nathans scrubs him with de bleach. Now wes just needs to gets de cameras equipsment for us... Eh. Can gets it later." Rather, they could have Ofdensen get it for them later, maybe along with the armour. Skwisgaar was sure they'd both be too drunk to operate a camera anytime in the immediate future, and there was no way the Shoggies would be allowed to do it, so there was no rush. "Ours Dethphones has de little cameras too," he remembered, suddenly smirking again. "Wouldn'ts wants to accidentally sends it to de other guys, though..." But what a way to come out that would be.
"Pfft, not has you shots anybody, has you dones body shots. Yous don'ts shoots no one dere. I shows you." Which could probably be fun foreplay, he thought, especially if he incorporated a blowjob into it the way he was envisioning. He hadn't ever done it before, but it couldn't be that complicated, and it might even feel pretty nice, with the lime and all. As they reached the Ravenclaw bar he leant closer to Toki, murmuring next to his ear, "I gives to you de special kinds. You's will likes it. Then you dos whatever yous wants on me."
no subject
"We's can reminds Master-Charles to gets for yous the camels-flage and to gets for us the Vikings horns and axes since he's the butler," exclaimed Shoggy 18. It was likely it would actually remember, since the Shoggies were so excited about the whole idea. Toki would have insisted that camoflauge was pretty metal, since war was an incredibly brutal thing, and therefore, soldiers were brutal, and soldiers wore camoflauge, and so the Toki-logic circuit was completed. He didn't have any arguements about guns, either- they were just as fun as swords. Maybe funner, since he was better at guns than swords. Although the class would technically promote the use of guns, the Baron actually expected the students to use whatever they were smart enough to bring along as well- in other words, he expected them to cheat. He'd be disappointed if they didn't. Cheating was the true key to winning most games, in his opinion.
"And we cans reminds Master Nathans to forgets abouts the sex scenes withs Murderface too!" announce Shoggy 3. Toki shook his head fervently and told it, "No, dont's tell him thats, else he will remembers, and we dont's want him to." The Shoggy seemed confused by this, but, at least appeared to accept Toki's order, although it was of the opinion that reminding someone to forget would assist them in forgetting.
"Yeah, we probably don't wants to films stuffs on our phones. Its would be alls grainy, besides. I bets we could borrow a cameras from that huge pervert teacher?" He'd noticed a plethora of television-oriented equiptment lying around the Muggle Studies room, and was pretty sure he remembered seeing a camera or two. And presumably, schools were supposed to lend equiptment out to students who needed it. "We coulds just makes up a story why we needs it." Not that this would have been necessary when dealing with the Baron, but, Toki didn't know this.
Toki looked a bit confused as Skwisgaar apparently hadn't meant shooting people. "But shots in the body, that's how you kills people? Or do you means. . .shots, likes the gettings drunk?" Perhaps he'd misunderstood? From Skwisgaar's reaction, he had. Whatever the idea was, apparently it was likely to be a fun one, and not for Shoggy eyes, from the way Skwisgaar was murmuring. And then he got to do whatever he wanted on Skwisgaar, which definitely increased his impatience to get back to their room. "Yeah, I likes thats idea, Skwisgaar," he replied, his grin indicating that he'd at least interpreted things half-correctly. The Shoggies were already rushing up to the bar, announcing their desire for pizzas- it didn't appear that they'd have to hang around the bar for very long. Which was good, as, Toki was definitely ready to head back to their room and discover just what Skwisgaar had in mind.