https://i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] hh_mirror2009-10-24 05:05 pm

Muggle Studies

((Jasper's inclusion with permission and additions of his player. If you require Vlad's attention, please say something to this extent in the comment subject line so I don't somehow miss it, thanks!))

The Baron Vladimir Harkonnen wanted his first class to be practical and entertaining, so he had chosen "An Introduction to Muggle Weaponry" as the topic. In order to make the class interesting, he'd decided it would be a hands-on experience, and had negotiated with Basher Tarr to obtain an assortment of Muggle weapons, mainly a quantity of AK-47 assault rifles, along with plenty of ammunition. These had been marked with stenciled letters declaring them "Property of the Muggle Studies Department", and were now stacked up neatly on a table at the front of the room, near some crates bearing the same lettering, and a rocket launcher. A section of the room had been magically expanded, and turned into an indoor firing range, complete with human-shaped targets, and the usual classroom area was equipped with rows of neatly-lined desks.

The Baron remained in a large, comfortable chair at the front of the classroom, his assistant Jasper beside him, and chatted quietly with him about a few details of the lesson plan as he waited for the last students to arrive and seat themselves at the desks. When it seemed that no more were going to appear, he floated up and shut the door with a flick of his wand. The deep, melodic basso of his voice carried easily over the chatter.

"Welcome to Muggle Studies. The subject we'll be covering today is potentially dangerous, so pay attention!"This declaration was accompanied by one of his disarmingly cherubic smiles. "The first thing that you need to know about Muggles is that even though they often are extremely silly, they are still capable of wreaking havoc and destruction. It's one of their favorite activities, but somehow, they still haven't managed to obliterate themselves. As there are a great deal more of them than there are of us, even though their methods are often crude, in a war of attrition, the wizarding world might have a problem. So, today I am going to familiarize you with some of the most commonly used weapons in current ground warfare."

He gestured at Jasper, who brought him an AK-47, which he held up and explained, "This is one of the most common Muggle weapons, the assault rifle. This model is the AK-47, a basic piece of artillery used by infantry. It was developed in the admirable nation of Russia, from which my own House claims ancient roots, and came into predominance shortly after the conflict known as World War II. It's operation is simple, and its main feature is that of selective firing modes- it can be operated either as semi- or fully automatic. In fully automatic mode, its range is shorter and less accurate, but as it is generally used in close confrontations, it is effective enough. The semi-automatic mode is more effective at a distance. This is not a very advanced weapon, but, it's still killed millions of Muggles." The Baron demonstrated loading a cartridge into the weapon, flicked off the safety, cocked the mechanism, and turned to fire a round through one of the lined-up targets, with perfect aim. He then flipped it to the fully automatic mode, and opened fire again at the same target- the spray of bullets was less accurate, but still shredded the target's torso region. "Magic or no, you don't want to find yourself surrounded by a horde of Muggles with these." He passed the AK-47 back to Jasper, and indicated the nearby boxes, and Jasper brought him a specimen of their contents after replacing the rifle.

"This is an M67 fragmentation grenade." He held up the grenade for the class to see. "This is a common anti-personnel weapon. It's a basic explosive, based upon filling the enemy with lethal bits of shrapnel. It's not a pleasant way to go. These are commonly used in ground combat, as, they are inexpensive to produce and easy to transport. Their effective radius is a mere 15 yards, and its lethal radius even less- but enough of these tossed into oncoming troops can be painful." With a smile, he removed the safety clip, pulled the pin, and tossed the grenade into a corner of the magically expanded area, where it exploded. The magically enlarged area was intentionally big enough that he could do this without maiming the students, although the nearby targets were mangled. "If those were people, they would not be feeling well now. The Muggles have several varieties of grenades, including concussion grenades that work best in enclosed areas, and incendiary grenades, designed to damage structures."

He drifted over to the rocket launcher, which he laid a hand on as he spoke. "And this little beauty is the M47 dragon, a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher. This model is slightly out of date, but effective. This weapon is primarily used against armored vehicles such as the tank, which unfortunately I have not been able to obtain yet. I'd demonstrate it, but, I'd prefer the walls to stay in one piece. However, if you attend the second portion of my class, you may have a chance to try it for yourself, along with the various sorts of grenades."

"Now, each of you will take one of these AK-47s, a cartridge of ammunition, and pair up with a partner. If you have experience with such weaponry, please find a less experienced student to assist. You will load the weapon, and you will attempt to hit one of these targets, while standing behind this line." He indicated a white line stretching in front of the targets. "You will try both modes, and learn the different feel of each one. And, you will not shoot each other with them. At this time." He grinned slightly, as he added, "Part two of the class is optional and will be held at a later date, but I encourage all of you to attend. We will be having a little Muggle-style war game on the grounds, and, you will be welcome to try and shoot each other then." A faint shimmer went up around the Baron as he flicked on his personal shield and settled back into his chair, watching for any that might need assistance. Jasper moved to join the students, ready to offer help as well or remove any troublemakers as needed. He didn't bother with any sort of shield, since getting shot didn't concern him.

[identity profile] charlesofdensen.livejournal.com 2009-10-25 03:57 pm (UTC)(link)
The only sign Ofdensen gave in reaction to that comment was shooting his target in the foot.

He had been aiming in the head.

Ofdensen coughed and shifted back to the dominant hand, though he couldn't quite hide his smirk. "I prefer when you use your hands as well, Nathan," he said, also in undertone.

[identity profile] needsanewliver.livejournal.com 2009-10-26 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
Nathan raised an eyebrow at what he assumed must have been a missed shot by Ofdensen's standards, but didn't comment on it, his self-satisfied look saying enough. Hey, it was pretty cool being able to have that effect on someone.

Someone who wasn't a groupie, anyway. Someone he actually liked.

"I wish you'd gotten high with me sooner," he said with a smile. "Like... before the Becca nightmare, at least." Mental shudder. Why were hot women always so... like that?

[identity profile] charlesofdensen.livejournal.com 2009-10-26 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
To make up for that faulty shot, he riddled the head and neck with bullets.

"I never liked her anyway," he said, not fearing repercussions like he used to. "She screeched." That was the least of her crimes, but it was a start.

[identity profile] needsanewliver.livejournal.com 2009-10-26 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
"Huh. Yeah. I really didn't like her either," Nathan admitted, almost sheepishly, watching Ofdensen rather than the targets. "Why didn't you say anything at the time?" Not that Nathan would have listened to him. It had taken a band intervention complete with a concussion and tasering for him to even consider trying to break up with her.

[identity profile] charlesofdensen.livejournal.com 2009-10-26 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
Ofdensen sighed. "Two reasons. One, you didn't indicate in any way until right before she fell down those flights of stairs that you were unhappy in your relationship. And two..." Ofdensen kept his eyes forward; he did not like admitting this part. "It made good publicity."

[identity profile] needsanewliver.livejournal.com 2009-10-26 06:57 am (UTC)(link)
Which meant he missed Nathan rolling his eyes. "The publicity was the only good part. But she did become the perfect girlfriend when she was in a coma." He turned back to the targets and resumed trying to give them faces, still failing at it. After a few moments, he asked, "Do you ever... uh... date? People? I mean, the band seems to keep you pretty busy."

And that brought up an even more important question, one which he wasn't sure he should ask.

[identity profile] charlesofdensen.livejournal.com 2009-10-26 07:04 am (UTC)(link)
"Of course she did. She was silent."

Another shot at the heart.

Ofdensen lowered his gun and shook his head. "No. I was too busy to seriously date, and there was no one I really trusted enough to get close to once I started to work for you."

[identity profile] needsanewliver.livejournal.com 2009-10-26 07:24 am (UTC)(link)
"Heh. And couldn't make me move her parents' fucking furniture anymore." In hindsight, he didn't even know why he'd dated Becca as long as he had. "Yeah... that makes sense. Um. Must suck for you, though." He actually did sound slightly sympathetic for once. Trying to be subtle with his hinting (as he apparently hadn't realised yet that Ofdensen can see right through him most the time), he asked, "What about now, at Hogwarts?"

[identity profile] charlesofdensen.livejournal.com 2009-10-26 07:28 am (UTC)(link)
"I have my eye on someone. Tall, dark-haired, green eyes, excellent voice..." Ofdensen drifted off, smiling slightly, then frowning. "I don't have much of a target left to shoot."

[identity profile] needsanewliver.livejournal.com 2009-10-26 08:03 am (UTC)(link)
Coming from anyone else, that would have warranted more eye rolling. From Ofdensen, Nathan just looked inordinately pleased—and maybe a bit embarrassed. "Sounds like a real slut to me," he said with a grin, and motioned further down the row with his rifle. "More targets down there, if you wanna keep shooting."

[identity profile] charlesofdensen.livejournal.com 2009-10-26 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
"Yes, let's move." As they moved down, Ofdensen caught a look at Toki and Skwisgaar tending the Shoggies. "That reminds me, I still need to talk to Toki."

[identity profile] needsanewliver.livejournal.com 2009-10-27 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
By this point Nathan had found out about his guitarists boning each other, courtesy of the Shoggies, and planned to confront Skwisgaar about it, possibly right after the class if he got the chance. And if he was aware of things, Ofdensen had probably already known about it all for a while now. But just to be on the safe side...

"About his drinking problem?" he asked, glancing toward the two guitarists with their Shoggies. "God, looks like he's passed it on to Skwisgaar now. They're probably just gonna shoot each other."

[identity profile] charlesofdensen.livejournal.com 2009-10-27 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
"Not at this point." Mainly cause Ofdensen laced vodka with truth potion. "About him and Skwisgaar. I have some questions that need to be answered, and Toki is more likely to tell the truth." Even if Ofdensen is coercing him to do so.

[identity profile] needsanewliver.livejournal.com 2009-10-27 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
Unsurprisingly, he did know, then.

"That really isn't any of your business," Nathan said as he lined up his shot. He owed Skwisgaar and Toki at least this much loyalty—to stand between Ofdensen and them, if he had to, since he had no idea what their manager was planning to do with whatever he found out. At times like that, he apparently forgot that Ofdensen had only ever wanted what was best for the band, not to fuck it up.

Nathan wasn't terribly bright, even when he meant well.

[identity profile] charlesofdensen.livejournal.com 2009-10-27 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
"It is if some jackass reporter decided to try to let out whatever secret they're keeping before they want to." Since, you know, Ofdensen wasn't 100% sure he was right. "I'd need to know if I can just ignore said reporter or keep him quiet somehow." Preferably with imprisonment at Mordhaus. "There is none currently, but it's good to be prepared."

Huh. Imprisonment has two m's, who knew?

[identity profile] needsanewliver.livejournal.com 2009-10-27 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
And Nathan promptly felt like an ass for assuming the worst about Ofdensen's intentions. He'd just have to make up for it later. Preferably naked.

"Oh... Yeah, you're right." He'd had similar thoughts already. He glanced at Ofdensen, lowering his voice as he said, "According to the Shoggies, they've been fucking for a while. Um. Remember how Toki was all... you know... with the waterworks in the hospital wing? And how weird he's always been about Skwisgaar?" He inwardly groaned at even having to say it. "Might not just be sex for Toki."

[identity profile] charlesofdensen.livejournal.com 2009-10-27 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
Ofdensen's tone was equally lowered. "That's what I've been suspecting since the night at the hospital wing. I'd still like to ask Toki, though. As much as I like the Shoggies, they're not exactly reliable sources of information." Plus, better to hear from the parties involved. "I might also talk to Skwisgaar, if I need to."

"Speaking of the Shoggies," Ofdensen continued at a normal volume, "have they built the hot tub yet?" He had been about to say something about Skwisgaar-or rather his Swedish 'lesson' with Nathan back during potions-but decided against it for now.

After all, Nathan was holding a gun. And impulse control wasn't his strong point.

[identity profile] needsanewliver.livejournal.com 2009-10-27 07:08 am (UTC)(link)
"I've been planning on talking to Skwisgaar too." He paused, debating whether any hilarious drama might happen during Ofdensen's little chat with Toki. Might be worth seeing. "Mind if I'm there when you talk to Toki?"

It was definitely good Ofdensen didn't mention the Swedish lessons. Because Nathan still needs a chance to tell people how much he loves cock in Norwegian and Swedish.

"I don't think they've started the hot tub yet. Haven't checked. Huh. Guess I should, later." He was eyeing Ofdensen and smirking as he considered a new possible use for said hot tub. Hopefully the door(s) would properly lock.

[identity profile] charlesofdensen.livejournal.com 2009-10-27 07:14 am (UTC)(link)
Ofdensen bit his lip in thought. "Actually...it might be better if you don't be there. Toki might not be so willing to open up if you're there. And Skwisgaar would probably talk to you more than he would me." Ofdensen gave a short laugh. "We can compare notes."