hh_mirror | another horrific phenomenon brought to you by the Baby Sun

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another horrific phenomenon brought to you by the Baby Sun

Throughout history, many strange and sinister rains had been recorded. Rains of blood, of meat, of frogs. Rains of locusts. Rains of fire and brimstone.

But had there ever been a rain like this?

The grounds of Hogwarts were splattered with a viscous pink goo. Between the falling drops of pinkish sludge, the malevolent Baby Sun's rays continued to shine.

It was a rain of Tubby Custard. The stuff was liquid enough to be drinkable through the straws built into Tubby breakfast bowls, yet thick enough to be called a custard. And it was truly vile. Even Teletubbies, who lived on this pink goo, had been known to experience deep upset and dismay upon witnessing a Tubby Custard mess. There was something about the prospect of uncontrolled Tubby Custard that struck fear into the heart-approximating organ of a Teletubby. How much more should a human fear this glop?

The Baby Sun cooed its delight. Plants, animals, centaurs, buildings, all acquired unsightly splotches of Tubby Custard. The rain continued sporadically as the day wore on, and would not cease until the Baby Sun set for the night.

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"Mello deserves it," Kurama said, almost automatically. He smiled a little, forcing himself back into good humor. Without knowing Kuronue's mind, he almost wished he'd get a facefull of the stuff, just to give him an excuse to run the bat down just like old times. A dangerous thought.

"He's a jackass, just like you. I figured you two would hit it off splendidly."

He looked at his hand thoughtfully at the veiled insult, then to Kurama with a pleasant smile. "Oh, we did. I assure you."

"Still," he said casually, taking a step closer. "I bet I'm a bigger 'jackass'."

Without another word he thrust his hand in Kurama's face and smeared the remnants of the pink goo from Kurama's cheek into his hair. Then ran as fast as he could down the hall. He laughed all the way.

Kurama sputtered and then snarled incoherently, getting the stuff out of his eye and then tearing after Kuronue with an abandon that was almost instinctive. First I'll tie him up, he thought viciously. then I'll dangle him outside and see if he catches on fire. Then I'll roll him in pink stuff and durian and LEAVE him there.

Kuronue swore loudly when he noticed Kurama was chasing after him. Fuck. Damn fox instincts always fucked him over in this part in the past.

"Higher ground, higher ground, shit..." He skidded around a corner and struggled to keep his balance as he took off again. There weren't any windows large enough for him to squeeze through here, he'd have to run until he found somewhere he could loose him or get out of reach.

He grinned, looking over his shoulder at Kurama. Oh, he got him gooood. He laughed a little harder.

"Keep laughing, while you can!" Kurama shouted after him, skidding into the hall and falling into a crouch to keep momentum. He actually (and this would mildly embarrass him later) went to all fours for a second, long arms and lanky legs working together to give him further momentum until he was back on his feet again.

He thought rapidly as he chased after Kuronue. The school was huge, but not big enough to keep both of them confined for very long during a chase. Knowing Kuronue, the bat would either find a large window or take flight in one of the halls or larger stairwells. If Kuro went outside, Kurama would have to find a way to latch on or follow on the ground. Inside, he had only a minimal advantage of knowing the place well enough not to get completely lost.

...wait, no. That was an extreme advantage. Kurama quickly recalled his mental map of the school, set where they were, and veered off into a small hallway.

Fuck. Where'd he go?

Kuronue slowed down, gingerly glancing about, listening very, very carefully. There were echoes from a larger...stairwell or something ahead, he could head that way, but... Well Kurama had disappeared and he had to decide whether to go forwards or back the way he came. Kurama's revenges tended to be rather memorable and he wasn't about to waltz right into it without a fight.

He decided to keep going forward, and did it quickly. If Kurama wanted to jump out at him he'd better damn well be prepared for him. He grinned.

The corridors, false walls, and various byways of the school were a maze within a labyrinth, but this area at least Kurama had down (thanks, in no small part, to his childhood (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1757654.html?thread=95622358#t95622358) adventures (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1758488.html) ) and could navigate easily. If Kuronue kept on in the same direction, he'd be able to cut him off from above once the halls let out into the moving stairwell.

So. Kuronue kind of...barrelled over Kurama when he did suddenly drop in from fucking nowhere and had too much momentum to stop them, even with his wings.

So they flew through the air and slid along the floor for a good while before hitting the stone barrister. The stone cracked and grumbled, just shy of breaking off and sending down a well of moving staircases. With the wind knocked out of him Kuronue gasped and clutched at his stomach, coughing a little. He forgot about getting away from Kurama for the moment, probably a stupid thing to do.

Kurama would have made a grab for Kuronue, and probably would have had enough time to get a vine out as a makeshift rope, but the collision didn't knock the wind out of him. It knocked his skull against the stone whatever it was he'd hit hard enough to make his vision go black. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time.

Now, however, he was having more than a little trouble moving, what with coherency being an issue and Kuronue wheezing almost on top of him.

Eventually he gained the ability to breathe normally, and looked down at Kurama. "Whoa, hey. Kurama?"

He shifted, placing a knee either side of Kurama so he wasn't laying on him and cradled his head with one hand, slapping at his cheek lightly with the other. "You alright?"

One of his wings ached terribly, but he ignored it. It had been a pretty hard hit, even for them.

A reply was nearly impossible right now, for more than one reason. It took a moment, but then his coping mechanism kicked in and worked all four cylinders full force.

Kurama began to laugh. Not hysterically (not yet, anyway) but a breathless, gasping laugh as his brain forced him not to think of Kuronue almost on top of him, of being in pain, but of A. Of A chucking a durian fruit at Kuronue's head. The mental image was hilarious.

Kuronue frowned. And he'd almost thought he'd get away with not being laughed at. Apparently not.

"Man, you're a dick," he muttered and scooted back a little, moving to prop Kurama against the wall and leaning over his to tilt his head back so he could look at his eyes. "If you have a concussion and throw up on me, and I don't notice the signs because you're laughing, I will personally steal all of your clothes and burn them."

Ignoring his laughter he tilted Kurama's head forward, looking for blood in his white hair.

"What... what..." he gasped, trying to get a grip through his hysterics. "Oh, gods, Kuro, I wish I'd seen it." He didn't know if he was bleeding, but he certainly felt concussed. Or at least, he would have diagnosed such if he hadn't been hit so hard with the goofy stick.

No blood, just what would be a hell of a bruise in the morning. Kuronue sat back. Noticing with amusement that the pink shit was still in Kurama's hair. Ha. It made him feel a little better. "You know I'm kind of glad you're in pain already. Serves you right."

He realised he was still in Kurama's lap and made to crawl off and sit beside Kurama. He'd have to keep an eye on him because he wasn't about to hand him over to Kusuriyuri and deal with the questions that might pop up over the injury.

That only served to make Kurama laugh harder, until he was out of breath. gradually, the laughter died to a few exhausted chuckles. "S-so," he said finally, trying to sit up, with little success. "Having fun yet?"

Kuronue waited out the latest round of laughter by looking up and watching the stairs above them shift. He looked back to Kurama when he spoke. "Oh yeah. Exploding objects, giggling sun and all. This place is fucked up, Kurama."

He smiled. "But yeah, I like it. You feeling alright?"

"Oh, that's not even the half of it. Wait 'til you meet Lezard." He snickered again, his head aching furiously. "I have the thunder God's own headache," he said, suppressing a groan of pain.

"Think I already have, he didn't seem too bad." The guy dressed weird, but the name matched the face. Kuronue stood and tentatively stretched his aching wing. It was fine, just a little tender from its scrape along the stone floor.

He leant down and took one of Kurama's arms, then helped him stand while letting him lean on him. "Can you walk or do I have to carry you, princess?"

Kurama made a sound that was both incoherent and questioning, shoving away and completely failing at standing on his own. His legs buckled and he had to grab onto the cracked banister to remain upright. "Lezard," he laughed breathlessly again. "Lezard the nerdboygod."

He sighed heavily. "You really did hit your head."

He took a step closer to him and wrapped Kurama's arm over his shoulders again, then wrapped his other arm around his waist. At least like this he could drag him a long and Kurama wouldn't bitch at him later for the indignity of it.

"I'm taking you to Slytherin until you're better. I don't want to deal with Kusuriyuri right now," he said, heading towards the dungeons. He supposed he could set Kurama up in one of the chairs in the common room, but decided against it. He didn't want people seeing Kurama while he was out of it and was sure Kurama didn't want it either.

So he dragged Kurama, who giggled all the way, to his room in the Slytherin dorm, and sat him on his bed. "Do not throw up here, okay?"

"What," he sniggered a little, still feeling terribly loopy. A side effect of the loopiness was that it completely murdered his sense of tact. "what exactly do you have against him anyway? I mean, I know why, but did he do something?"

Kuronue moved about, opening small boxes of things he'd gotten the elves to bring him. He pulled out some pills (one of the first things he'd done with his free time was go to the library and then make use of what he'd learnt in the advancement of human medicine) and poured a glass of water then sat beside Kurama on the bed.

"Take them, you're not in a condition to heal yourself, and you know how bad I am at herbal shit." He tried to ignore the question, mainly because it didn't make sense. He didn't want to face his replacement just yet. It was as simple as that. Kurama knew that he'd need time to get his head around it, he must have.

He held out the pills to Kurama, but wouldn't let him hold the glass completely. He didn't want him to end up dropping it.

Kurama took the pills with an unsteady hand, still trying to focus on what he was doing. It had been a long time since he'd been whacked that hard, and it was difficult to deal.

He popped the pills and gestured for Kuronue to hand him the water, curling his hand around Kuronue's and the cup when it didn't come quickly enough. He drained the glass and squeezed his eyes shut for a few minutes. He had to, had to grab on to some sanity, quick.

It took a few, long moments of silence, and he realized he still held the glass, and Kuronue's hand. He let go, his hand falling to his lap.

"You lose all sense of self in a place like this," he said, breaking the quiet. "Everything that you were before doesn't matter any more. No one cares about reputation, or your history, who you've killed, who you love, who you hate. It's all..." he wheeled his hand through the air, gesturing broadly. "All new. And I... I'm so confused."

Kuronue placed the glass on the table by the bed and returned to sit next to Kurama. "They're strong, not necessarily legal for me to have. They should kick in soon." He resisted the urge to pull Kurama's hair back from his eyes. To touch him.

"I can see that it would be easy to go crazy here...but you haven't changed. You've...calmed. Found peace, I think. You were never happy in Makai, Youko." Calling him Youko now seemed...odd. He rarely used to in the past as well, only when he was being serious. It drew attention to who he was though. The Legendary Youko Kurama, and not Kurama, the kitsune turned human turned...wizard teacher.

"I hated it there," he murmured, surprised by his own honesty. He pressed against his eyes with the heels of his hands, the pain already starting to ebb to something more bearable. He still felt like laughing, but knew that going down that path would just lead to more shoving things under the rug instead of dealing with the issue at hand.

"I really did. You were the only worthwhile part of staying." Considering he'd fled from Makai after Kuronue's death, spiriting around the human world until Reikai had him hunted down... well, it was no wonder how much he hated the place. he was silent another moment. "Don't call me that."

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