Raistlin's Application

[raistlin-red.livejournal.com]

His entry was preceeded by the rustle of robes against the stone and the steady tap of a staff on the floor. Hourglass shaped eyes narrowed at his unfamiliar surroundings. Raistlin Majere, sorceror of Krynn and bearer of the Red Robes of Neutrality, surveyed the room. He was alone, there were no signs of his oafish brother Caramon, Tanis, even that infernal Kender, Tasselhoff. The last thing he remembered was falling asleep near the fire, and hearing the steady snores of his companions.

After a moment’s pause, the hood was pushed back, revealing the careworn face of a young man. White hair tumbled past his shoulders, contrasting with his metallic golden skin.

“Shirak,” the young man whispered. The round crystal, clutched in a golden dragon’s talon at the top of his staff flared, spilling light into the room.

Seized with a coughing fit that racked his entire body, Raistlin clutched at his staff to remain standing. When the fit had passed, he straightened, and noticed the quill hovering over the parchment.

(the mun apologizes in advance, Raistlin is a complicated, sarcastic and often bitter character considering his very frail health. So he can sound rather dickish. His spellcasting abilities are based on the AD&D 2nd ed rules))

"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. raistlin_red
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. raistlin_red
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. raislin_red
One day, marmalade will rule the world. raistlin_red

Type your cut contents here.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

 Raistlin frowned, what sort of place was he in? Speaking a word, he called the quill to his fingers. “I’d prefer an order of Otik’s spicy potatoes to cheese. Of course my brother would be happy to eat anything you put in front of him.. and anyone else for that matter.”

      2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

 A well placed fireball could dispose of both quite easily. However as I do not suffer fools, I would aim for Carrottop first.

     3. What time is it where you are?

 His smirk turned bitter as he wrote, "Does it matter? Thanks to Par-Salian cursing my vision, all things wither and die before my eyes.  However, as the sun is out, it is daytime."

       4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

 “I have neither the time nor the inclination to deal with the trouble that comes from relationships,” he scratched angrily with the quill. “No woman, much less a man would want a broken body in their bed, so I will not waste my time with such nonsense.”

<s>Defensive much? Nah.</s>

  5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

 The Inn of the Last Home in Solace was the last decent tavern I have set foot in.

 B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

 Raistlin’s frown deepened to a scowl, “What does it matter? One will betray or leave the other. My concern is my magic, physical pleasures pale to the fire that it lights in my veins,” he scrawled, his anger bringing on another coughing fit.

 C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

 Perhaps you need a good spell to keep the papers in order? There are known magical tomes that will file themselves, it shouldn't be difficult to craft an appropriate spell. However, a better apprentice would be able to sort the paperwork for you without the use of any spells.

 D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

 Useless? I am Raistlin Majere, I took the Test at the Tower of High Sorcery, one of the youngest to do so and survive. I bear the Staff of Magius, who fought alongside Huma during the first Great War. I am far from useless!

 

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do. 

 Raistlin sighed, wondering who was behind such odd questions. “I have learned a great deal of sorcery since I was a child. Cantrips to amuse and possibly make a few coin in local taverns.. or stronger spells to defend yourself against attacks and the like. It all depends on what you can offer me in return,” he scrawled with a thin smile. "I would offer the use of my brother's swordarm, but I have no idea where Caramon is at the moment."