((Haha works for me. The whole human-status stuff in Dune was a bit confusing.))
"You're not afraid," he said quietly, and it wasn't quite a question, though he did sound uncertain. "I can tell. Some of us have extra... abilities," he explained as he regarded the Baron curiously, "traits which I believe in most cases already existed when we were human—alive, and becoming a vampire magnifies them. I am an empath, as you've probably already guessed." Perhaps ironically, that utter lack of fear in the Baron, of discomfort, of anything but those pleasant emotions, was close to unnerving Jasper. Bella displayed a similar lack of fear around him and his family, but, then, she also happened to be in love with one of them, so naturally she'd be biased. Foolishly so, sometimes, but that was love for you. It was seldom very logical.
The Baron had no such emotional attachment to him that should cause him to behave so illogically. His equanimity in the face of learning the truth about Jasper still largely baffled and amazed the vampire.
He did seem heartened by Vladimir insisting that he was very much human, since it sounded like Vladimir's culture possibly defined 'people' by their humanity. Something he'd struggled to reclaim and hold onto after half a century of living as little more than an animal able to follow and carry out orders. "I'm not always capable of acting against my instincts," he admitted, slowly looking away from the Baron to focus on some point on the wall across from him—making an effort not to duck his head in shame, at least, as he really wanted to. "Nor am I always able to behave rationally. But I do try. I try very hard."
He knew trying wasn't really enough, but it was all he could do. He still hoped there would come a day when it didn't have to be such a conscientious effort, that he could one day enjoy being around humans like Alice and Edward did—or at least better tolerate it, without the constant undercurrent of bloodlust that always, always plagued him. Would he never become desensitised to the smell of human blood?
"No, I don't want you to tell me to leave," he agreed, smiling despite himself. "But I would understand and wouldn't hold it against you if you did kick me out. You've been far more accepting and kind about this than I really deserve." It was clear he did appreciate it, despite struggling to come to terms with Vladimir not fearing what he was. Some of his prior somberness returned as he relaxed somewhat, uncrossing his arms and staring down at his hands in his lap. "But accidents happen." He idly traced a collection of old scars on one of his wrists with his fingers, frowning. "All it would take is you getting a small cut when near me. A pinprick, a papercut. Something seemingly insignificant. And I... know from experience I wouldn't be able to stop myself." It was incredibly gruesome to even think about, but it was also the reality of what he was. Vladimir certainly deserved fair warning, especially if he wasn't going to rescind his offer to let Jasper play personal assistant.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2009-05-26 09:02 am (UTC)"You're not afraid," he said quietly, and it wasn't quite a question, though he did sound uncertain. "I can tell. Some of us have extra... abilities," he explained as he regarded the Baron curiously, "traits which I believe in most cases already existed when we were human—alive, and becoming a vampire magnifies them. I am an empath, as you've probably already guessed." Perhaps ironically, that utter lack of fear in the Baron, of discomfort, of anything but those pleasant emotions, was close to unnerving Jasper. Bella displayed a similar lack of fear around him and his family, but, then, she also happened to be in love with one of them, so naturally she'd be biased. Foolishly so, sometimes, but that was love for you. It was seldom very logical.
The Baron had no such emotional attachment to him that should cause him to behave so illogically. His equanimity in the face of learning the truth about Jasper still largely baffled and amazed the vampire.
He did seem heartened by Vladimir insisting that he was very much human, since it sounded like Vladimir's culture possibly defined 'people' by their humanity. Something he'd struggled to reclaim and hold onto after half a century of living as little more than an animal able to follow and carry out orders. "I'm not always capable of acting against my instincts," he admitted, slowly looking away from the Baron to focus on some point on the wall across from him—making an effort not to duck his head in shame, at least, as he really wanted to. "Nor am I always able to behave rationally. But I do try. I try very hard."
He knew trying wasn't really enough, but it was all he could do. He still hoped there would come a day when it didn't have to be such a conscientious effort, that he could one day enjoy being around humans like Alice and Edward did—or at least better tolerate it, without the constant undercurrent of bloodlust that always, always plagued him. Would he never become desensitised to the smell of human blood?
"No, I don't want you to tell me to leave," he agreed, smiling despite himself. "But I would understand and wouldn't hold it against you if you did kick me out. You've been far more accepting and kind about this than I really deserve." It was clear he did appreciate it, despite struggling to come to terms with Vladimir not fearing what he was. Some of his prior somberness returned as he relaxed somewhat, uncrossing his arms and staring down at his hands in his lap. "But accidents happen." He idly traced a collection of old scars on one of his wrists with his fingers, frowning. "All it would take is you getting a small cut when near me. A pinprick, a papercut. Something seemingly insignificant. And I... know from experience I wouldn't be able to stop myself." It was incredibly gruesome to even think about, but it was also the reality of what he was. Vladimir certainly deserved fair warning, especially if he wasn't going to rescind his offer to let Jasper play personal assistant.