hh_mirror

((OOC: I checked the roster of active characters, and it looked like all the House characters had gone inactive. If that's wrong, I apologize. ))

There is a puff of white smoke, and suddenly, a woman appears in the middle of the Sorting Room. She's clothed all in white, and very pale. She looks a bit confused.

"Apparently, the afterlife is not what I expected."

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite? "What does that have to do with anything? If I say Limburger, do you send me to hell?

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop? She pauses for a moment. "Well, I don't have any kids so I never see Barney. Carrottop is creepy, so I guess I'd pick him."

3. What time is it where you are? "Well it was time for me to die, now I have no idea." As the questions progress, her patience ~~begins wearing~~ wears thin.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black. "The Order of the What?" She is getting more confused by the minute. "Oh for the love of..., this is the afterlife House would have designed. Don't tell me he really was God."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark. "The Liar's Den"

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument. "Why do I care who he marries? Where am I?"

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it. "Either you're an administrator or you haven't frightened your subordinates into doing it for you."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless. "I'm a doctor. That's generally considered a useful skill to have."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

"A bribe? I guess I could provide free medical advice. Can someone -please- explain to me what the hell I'm doing here and where exactly here is??"

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____CTB____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __CTB______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __CTB______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __CTB_______"