The Unpopping of River Tam

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

River found herself in the not unfamiliar state of being utterly disoriented.

This is not logical; there is not enough butter on Serenity to bathe in.
And yet, to spite the illogical bend of the situation, here she was, covered in butter. Did they even have butter?

And, surrounded by popcorn.
There is not enough popcorn on Serenity to fill a room.
This was a highly illogical situation. A distressing one.

"Simon?" she called out, tentatively. She didn't expect an answer. That... was far more distressing than the popcorn.
Don't be irrational, she thought. It was sound advice.
"Simon?!" She called again, louder. Of course, no answer, but she was allowed to be irrational once in a while. But only for a few seconds. If Simon wasn't here, he was obviously elsewhere, so elsewhere she would go. She stepped out of the popcorn room, and dripped down the unfamiliar hallway.

Comments

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

"You aren't, then..." River mused, looking him up and down. He was very... colorful, for not being one. "Companions are Ambassadors," she said, giving the most simplistic answer. She didn't think it would be polite to mention that she had mistaken him for a very high-class whore.

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

"Unharmed," she said simply. The woman seemed pleasant, thankfully. "But disoriented."

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

"Directions would be nice," River answered politely. "To a shower, or unbuttered clothes."

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

Reaver? was her first thought. Though, when he didn't seem to be aggressive, blood-soaked, or functionally insane, River's brief panic was soothed. He was just... funny-looking. She stopped in the middle of the hallway, and stared at him in her way, one eyebrow lifted.

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

"Oh." She said simply. Leaning this close, she could easily smell him. "You smell like flowers."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"Primavera and Kurama found it in the mangosteen grove," he said as if she'd know who he meant. "A chest full of little bottles of oils that smelled like things. I liked the ones that smelled like flowers because they remind me of my garden even when I am not there."

[jezzthespoon.livejournal.com]

He regarded her in return as he drew closer, though he was very much used to humans by now. She seemed soaked in something, and was that a grease trail behind her? And that smell...

He nodded in greeting. "Were you swimming with the popcorn?"

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

"It's good," she announced, nodding her head with finality. Schrodinger was nibbling on her skirt, so she flipped the cat over and began to tickle its belly. she grimaced a little when more butter dripped all over the little cat, but said feline didn't seem to mind.

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

"I think I was one," she replied. "Though the ratio of butter to my body mass seems illogical for the size of the kernel I would have been..." she rattled off mathematical processes for a moment before stopping altogether.

"Does this happen often?"

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

Finally sick of Schrodinger getting all the attention now that he was sure this new person was no threat, Einstein padded up to her with a plaintive mew, licking at her buttery hand.

A smiled at that; Einstein could be a little shy when meeting people.

"There are more that I haven't tried yet," he told her. "Primavera said sometimes they smell different on your skin than in the bottle."

[jezzthespoon.livejournal.com]

He hung on through the math. "Apparently, judging by the number of names."

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

River petted both cats simultaneously as she processed that information.
"Is Primavera a companion?" The name sounded vaguely companion-like, and the only female she knew who actively wore or worked with oils and the like was Inara, aside from those few times when Kaylee would get crazy with the strawberry air freshener.

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

She processed this, shifting from foot to foot as she did so.
"Is it preventable?"

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"I don't know what she is." Of course, he wasn't sure what she meant by 'companion' either. "Kurama was talking to her. She acted like everything bored her."

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

"Who's Kurama?" She asked, continuing to entertain the cats. Most of the excess butter had dripped to the floor by now, and was starting to dry. She would normally have been more interested in finding a shower or something, but this boy - whoever he was - seemed far more intriguing.

[jezzthespoon.livejournal.com]

"It might be. I haven't come across a method."

He wasn't unduly concerned about the lack of a method. So far it all seemed to be something happening to other people, of no especial importance to him.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"Kurama knows about plants. He helped me protect the mangosteen grove before Lezard put up a charm to make it stay warm for always, and he met a leopard cat there."

A was rather intrigued as well, even if he did find the oiled effect somewhat disquieting.

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

"I see," she said. Then, after a moment. "Who are you?"

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

The question startled him a bit, but he had an answer now. He'd never have to be 'Attempted Alternate' to her.

"I'm A. I am learning to grow plants, and to use them for food and medicine."

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

"I'll have to find one," she murmured, almost to herself. "Popcorn is a less than desirable state of being..."

[jezzthespoon.livejournal.com]

"So it is. Do you remember being here before, or should I explain?"

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

"I'm River. I was popcorn a little while ago. Before that, I was broken, but being fixed."

[biblerewrite.livejournal.com]

"Explain, please. Are we on Persephone?" It didn't seem like anywhere on Persephone that she remembered.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

A smiles a little sadly at that; being fixed has filled much of his time at Hogwarts.

"Do you run so swiftly that there are no ripples?"

[jezzthespoon.livejournal.com]

"We're on 'the Earth,'" he recalled the name, "in Hogwarts, which is a school of magic that reaches across planes."