There were few things that Fraser could have said to her that would have wounded her deeper.
You hurt people.
She was her father. Was Jolly. Was some con in prison with a number and a cell and state issued clothes. She was something, someone, she didn't recognize. Had never wanted to turn into.
You hurt people.
Nothing she'd done had been meant to hurt. Not really. Burning down Fraser's cabin was a petty gesture, she'd admit it. Taking away his home the way she'd lost hers. And yes, she'd pulled away everything around him, so they could be together. But she hadn't meant to hurt him. Wouldn't have had to, if only...
But she had. The fact remained, she had, and now that's all Fraser saw when he looked at her. Someone who hurt people.
Someone who hurt him.
And now he was so afraid of her, of what she might do, of the lengths she would go to, that he was letting her go. Again. But this time wasn't really his fault, was it? Ben was just doing what he had to. Because she hurt people. Because she'd turned into everything she'd run from.
All this distance, all this time, and it hadn't mattered. She'd become nothing more than Frank Metcalf's daughter after all. Hurting people she loved. Destroying everything she touched.
Emotions flickered across Victoria's face - anger and hurt and regret and grief and shock and love and pain and hope and above all, above everything, bitter resignation - and then they were gone. And Victoria gave Fraser a tiny little heartbroken smile, barely able to hide the pain, barely able to hold herself steady.
She leaned in to kiss him again. This time so soft, so slow, memorizing everything about him. The feel of his skin under her fingers. The way his lips felt under her own. The hitch of his breath, the beat of his heart, the way he smelled - every sensation filed away. Because this was the last of it. The only piece of him she'd ever have.
Then Victoria pulled away. Tears already starting. "I'm not going to hurt anyone," she whispered brokenly. "And if that's all--"
Shaking her head, she turned to walk away, pulling her bag out and starting to pull things from her dresser, packing. "If that's the only thing you can think of when you see me, then I'll leave. Because I love you Fraser. I love you. And all I can think about is being with you. That's all I want. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just--" What did it matter? Victoria shook her head again, wiping her eyes with quick swipes of her hands and trying to catch her breath.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2008-02-08 09:08 am (UTC)There were few things that Fraser could have said to her that would have wounded her deeper.
You hurt people.
She was her father. Was Jolly. Was some con in prison with a number and a cell and state issued clothes. She was something, someone, she didn't recognize. Had never wanted to turn into.
You hurt people.
Nothing she'd done had been meant to hurt. Not really. Burning down Fraser's cabin was a petty gesture, she'd admit it. Taking away his home the way she'd lost hers. And yes, she'd pulled away everything around him, so they could be together. But she hadn't meant to hurt him. Wouldn't have had to, if only...
But she had. The fact remained, she had, and now that's all Fraser saw when he looked at her. Someone who hurt people.
Someone who hurt him.
And now he was so afraid of her, of what she might do, of the lengths she would go to, that he was letting her go. Again. But this time wasn't really his fault, was it? Ben was just doing what he had to. Because she hurt people. Because she'd turned into everything she'd run from.
All this distance, all this time, and it hadn't mattered. She'd become nothing more than Frank Metcalf's daughter after all. Hurting people she loved. Destroying everything she touched.
Emotions flickered across Victoria's face - anger and hurt and regret and grief and shock and love and pain and hope and above all, above everything, bitter resignation - and then they were gone. And Victoria gave Fraser a tiny little heartbroken smile, barely able to hide the pain, barely able to hold herself steady.
She leaned in to kiss him again. This time so soft, so slow, memorizing everything about him. The feel of his skin under her fingers. The way his lips felt under her own. The hitch of his breath, the beat of his heart, the way he smelled - every sensation filed away. Because this was the last of it. The only piece of him she'd ever have.
Then Victoria pulled away. Tears already starting. "I'm not going to hurt anyone," she whispered brokenly. "And if that's all--"
Shaking her head, she turned to walk away, pulling her bag out and starting to pull things from her dresser, packing. "If that's the only thing you can think of when you see me, then I'll leave. Because I love you Fraser. I love you. And all I can think about is being with you. That's all I want. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just--" What did it matter? Victoria shook her head again, wiping her eyes with quick swipes of her hands and trying to catch her breath.
"I'm sorry."