Trilby - 5 Days a Stranger

[signedwithahat.livejournal.com]

The window stood invitingly open, so it was really no one's fault but the owner's when a shiny metal hook sailed over the edge and lodged there. The attached length of rope shuddered lightly, tensed as someone pulled against it from the other side. After a moment, a felt trilby eased over the windowsill followed quickly by a blank grey mask. Judging it to be safe, the would-be thief climbed nimbly through.

By the time he realized he wasn't in the empty drawing room of a rich old widow, his point of entrance had vanished. There was a moment of panic, but the lack of anything resembling the inside of the DeFoe Manor squashed it back down. He would figure out what was going on, and in the meantime, he would stay calm.

And fill out this application. Maybe it would draw out whoever was responsible.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"My favorite cheese?" he read uncertainly. He gave a bemused glance to the floating quill as it scribbled down his words. "I can't say I ever thought about it. I don't eat much cheese. Why on earth would you want to know?"

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Trilby coughed lightly and raised an eyebrow at the question. "Niether," he said. "Though as soon as I get out of here, I am going to kill my fence."

3. What time is it where you are?
"What an odd application," he muttered to himself as he glanced at his watch. "11:36."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Who?" After a moment, he shook his head and chuckled. Obviously, it was all some kind of joke. He only wished he'd realized that sooner so he could have played along. "Please, I'm a gentleman," he said loftily. "Besides, I wouldn't need to."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Clouseau's Place," he said after a moment's thought. There just weren't many people who could look that stylish in a trilby.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Oh, no," he said, shaking his head. That was just a can of worms he had no intention of opening. "Next question, please."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
He paused, then laughed lightly as Alice in Wonderland danced into his head. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" he mused. "You'll have to ask someone else why you have so much paperwork. As a cat burgalar, I have very little."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
"I'm Trilby," he replied with just a touch of arrogance. "If you don't already know how I'm useful..." He trailed off as his eyes hit the last question, and quickly motioned the floating quill to move on.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I'm a cat burgalar," he repeated. "One of the best. Just ask for something, and I'll do my best to get it for you."

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _M_
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _M_
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _M_
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _M_"

((OOC: My Trilby is taken from shortly after 5 Days a Stranger and completely disregards the rest of his canon. Awesome games, don't get me wrong, but that was not Trilby don't lie to me. *pouts* Also, his signature there is supposed to be a hat.))