hh_mirror | Alice Cullen (Twilight Series)

[[Approved by Edward-mun!]]

Alice Cullen was not ordinary in any sense of the word. She had short, black hair that would make any normal girl snicker. She was very small and pixie-like, and graceful in her movements, which would make any dancer green with envy. She had a family of very attractive ladies and gentlemen that made every normal person turn their heads to stare. Oh, and she was a vampire who had visions of the future from time to time. That, too.

Carlisle had sent her to look for Edward. After the family left Forks, he had disappeared to God-knows-where. Carlisle was the first one to hear the news about Edward living at Hogwarts, and immediately sent a very worried Alice to join him there. And the next morning, Alice Cullen arrived at Hogwarts to enroll herself.

She entered the Sorting Room at a brisk pace. She nearly sprinted across the room until she came upon the familiar three-legged stool that had a sheet of parchment and a quill on top. She picked up the sheet and scanned it quickly.

What kind of school asks you questions like these to get in?

She shrugged and scooped up the quill, eager to get these questions over with so she could find her brother

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese? It's been a long time since I've had cheese... I don't even remember what my favorite was. But the natural holes in Swiss cheese are simply fascinating!

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I don't kill people, so it looks like Barney will have to do. He looks very unappetizing, though. That ghastly purple color...

3. What time is it where you are?
I'm not sure. I don't own a watch. I guess it might be around noon.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
How peculiar... I'm married. I have no desire to harass anyone like that.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Hm. Bars are fascinating places. Humans go in and completely lose all sense of what's going on, and then say it was fun. Like this one bar in Port Angeles, The Red Sun. I've watched it before, and it's hilarious to watch humans come in and out as totally different people.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Whomever his little heart chooses. Marriage isn't about mythology... often.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Oh, I know what you mean. Well, my suggestion is that you throw away everything and start from scratch. Now you have no papers on your desk, and all is well in the world!

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I am most certainly not useless! I have visions of the future on some occasions, always helpful. And I'm not too bad at sketching and simple art like that. Not to mention speed, strength, and extremely heightened senses. Now take back the part about me being useless.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I have money, if that's what you want. And little trinkets, artifacts that I've picked up on my travels. They're yours if you want them.

I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____AC________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them._____AC______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____AC______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____AC________"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Borat's eyes went wide. "You mean you had two men and one woman having sexy times at the same time on the same bed, yes?" That was unheard of Khazakstan! Borat was astonished. But he wanted details, now. "Was this woman a prostitute? How much?"

Hmm. Toki date someone without having to pay for it? Unlikely. Then again... "She was free. 'Cause we're guitarists. And famous and stuffs."

"I am famous journalist and I do not get free sexy times," Borat complained. "Except from my wife, but making sex to her is like... how you say, 'hotdog in hallway'? Her vah-jin is loose like ear of elephant, and she grow hair on chest."

"I know how dat's is. Some of de Gee-MILFs, they all wrinklies. But I likes varieties in my groupies."

Ah, another word Borat did not know! "What is Gee Milf?" He asked, quite confused.

"It is a grandmas I want to fucks. Dey ar hot."

"Ohhh." Now Borat understood. "You mean mother of mother, yes? In Khazakstan, once they start to grow moos-tache, we harvest them for Khazak hair industry. Is very useful! Much money!"

Why anybody would want to fuck them, Borat truly had no idea. They were worth hundreds!

Alice watched the conversation, an unreadable look on her face, "Um... I'm sorry, who are you people?"

"Shhh," Luna murmured, having wandered in during that conversation as well. "You don't want to disturb them. I'm hoping they might get 'round to discussing arse babies." It was probably a vain hope, but that didn't matter to Luna.

Alice's expression only grew more bewildered, "Erm... all... all right, then."

Just remember, self, I'm here for Edward... I'm staying here for Edward... I must support Edward... I'm going to kill Edward. Did he HAVE to come HERE?

Luna smiled brightly. "Did I read correctly that you get visions of the ffuture? What method of divination do you use? Tea leaves? Crystal? Nargle entrails, which is my personal favorite?"

Alice smiled, glad that she could talk about something she understood, "Oh, I just... well, they just pop into my head whenever they want. I don't use any sort of methods to conjure them. They just sort of happen."

"Hmmm," Luna regarded her more interestedly. "Have you ever considered putting these visions to practical use? I'm sure my father would love to have a real psychic on staff at the Quibbler."

"Like a horoscope?" inquired Alice.

Silly girl. If only she understood...

"Yes," Luna agreed. "Or, you know, making predictions. You'd have the advantage because no one ever expects anything written in The Quibbler to be accurate, so you'd have an element of surprise."

Alice chuckled to herself, "I'm sorry, dear. My visions aren't like that. And they can change depending on the actions of the people involved in them. I'm afraid I'll have to decline that offer, but thank you."

"Oh well," Luna said with a disappointed little sigh. "Visions changing certainly makes writing a monthly column a bit difficult. Ah well. How is Ravenclaw for a house?"

Alice shrugged, "Fine by me. I'm not even sure what being in each house means. But if you think Ravenclaw would fit me, then sure."

"I'm Skwisgaar Skwigelf," Skwisgaar answered, saying nothing more. When you were Skiwsgaar, you didn't even need pick up lines.

"That's a tongue twister," Alice remarked, "I'm Alice Cullen. It's nice to meet you," she flashed a brilliant smile at him.

Alice Cullen (Twilight Series)

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Vote: Ravenclaw

Re: Vote: Ravenclaw

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