http://alicevamp.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] alicevamp.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] hh_mirror2007-07-24 10:37 am

Alice Cullen (Twilight Series)

[[Approved by Edward-mun!]]

Alice Cullen was not ordinary in any sense of the word. She had short, black hair that would make any normal girl snicker. She was very small and pixie-like, and graceful in her movements, which would make any dancer green with envy. She had a family of very attractive ladies and gentlemen that made every normal person turn their heads to stare. Oh, and she was a vampire who had visions of the future from time to time. That, too.

Carlisle had sent her to look for Edward. After the family left Forks, he had disappeared to God-knows-where. Carlisle was the first one to hear the news about Edward living at Hogwarts, and immediately sent a very worried Alice to join him there. And the next morning, Alice Cullen arrived at Hogwarts to enroll herself.

She entered the Sorting Room at a brisk pace. She nearly sprinted across the room until she came upon the familiar three-legged stool that had a sheet of parchment and a quill on top. She picked up the sheet and scanned it quickly.

What kind of school asks you questions like these to get in?

She shrugged and scooped up the quill, eager to get these questions over with so she could find her brother


1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese? It's been a long time since I've had cheese... I don't even remember what my favorite was. But the natural holes in Swiss cheese are simply fascinating!

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

I don't kill people, so it looks like Barney will have to do. He looks very unappetizing, though. That ghastly purple color...

3. What time is it where you are?
I'm not sure. I don't own a watch. I guess it might be around noon.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
How peculiar... I'm married. I have no desire to harass anyone like that.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Hm. Bars are fascinating places. Humans go in and completely lose all sense of what's going on, and then say it was fun. Like this one bar in Port Angeles, The Red Sun. I've watched it before, and it's hilarious to watch humans come in and out as totally different people.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Whomever his little heart chooses. Marriage isn't about mythology... often.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Oh, I know what you mean. Well, my suggestion is that you throw away everything and start from scratch. Now you have no papers on your desk, and all is well in the world!

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I am most certainly not useless! I have visions of the future on some occasions, always helpful. And I'm not too bad at sketching and simple art like that. Not to mention speed, strength, and extremely heightened senses. Now take back the part about me being useless.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I have money, if that's what you want. And little trinkets, artifacts that I've picked up on my travels. They're yours if you want them.


I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____AC________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them._____AC______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____AC______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____AC________"

[identity profile] hellminxmel.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
'Alice CULLEN?,' smirks Maia, reading the application. 'Oh dear, you're not related to Eddie-boy, are you? Dear little thing. Loses his temper a bit too easily...' She massages her throat unconsciously, going a little pink.

'I think I might like you better than him,' she adds silkily. 'You seem to have a healthy disregard for humans.' Not QUITE healthy enough, though. Imagine the fear that would reign with two bloodsucking vamps on the loose.

[identity profile] hellminxmel.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 05:01 pm (UTC)(link)
'Oh, I don't think he's sleeping well,' Maia confides, leaning in as if she's just having a girly gossip. 'You know--boys and their disturbing dreams.'

She realises too late she's wearing a top she brought with her from the Hell dimensions. Even after multiple washes, it might still whiff of sulphur a bit. She jerks back, wondering if she can cause Alice sensory overload...ooh, that might be fun, actually.

[identity profile] hellminxmel.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 05:13 pm (UTC)(link)
'Oh, he's definitely been seeing faces that aren't here,' Maia says lightly, playing idly with a ring on her little finger, set with some dark semi-precious stone. 'I hope he's alright.'

This has nothing to do with Maia turning herself into the image of Bella. Nooo. Not at all. How could you say that?

Brightly, 'He said he fell off the wagon, before. Are you the result of one of his nights of sin?'

[identity profile] hellminxmel.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 05:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Maia almost giggles, but keeps her face straight. Discord! Yesssss.

'Oh, dear!' she gasps, putting one hand to rest on her cleavage. 'I do hope I didn't say anything I wasn't meant to.'

[identity profile] sparklyvampire.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 04:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Edward had wondered how long it would take for some member of his family to figure out where he'd gone. What with Alice being able to see the future and everything, it had just been a matter of time. He was quite happy to see her, to be honest, as happy as he got these days. She was very much his favourite sibling.

"Alice," he greeted her, almost smiling.

[identity profile] sparklyvampire.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 05:11 pm (UTC)(link)
He sighed and hugged her back, quickly. "I'm sorry. I just... needed some time on my own." If Alice had worried, that meant Esme had worried as well... Not his intent, surely. Worrying Esme was definitely a capital offence.

"How are you?" he asked politely.

[identity profile] sparklyvampire.livejournal.com 2007-07-24 05:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh. Getting into fights with a demon that turned into Bella. Missing the REAL Bella. Hunting. Lying in his bed, staring into the ceiling and wondering if he should call her, if it would feel better hearing her voice, and then deciding against it...

"I have been thinking," he replied with a sigh. "I assume you can guess of what." Or who, rather. "I've been here for a few months. Not much has happened, or at least nothing of any importance. How are the others?"

[identity profile] lovesmanthongs.livejournal.com 2007-07-25 07:41 am (UTC)(link)
Bearing a copy of a rather disturbing (but informative!) German sex manual (http://www.divshare.com/image/1221376-efc), Borat trotted eagerly into the Sorting Room. "American woman," he mused to himself, and quickly made a motion of gyrating his hips and slapping the air. Just as a sort of 'Wowee, potential sexy times!' action for himself.

Suitably ready to greet this woman, Borat came closer and gave Alice an enormous - and slightly leering - grin. "You say holes in cheese are good, yes? In Khazakstan, we have much holy cheese! Sometimes, I am making joke at my sister, who is best prostitute. She have hole of cheese! Haha!"

[identity profile] gmilf-hunter.livejournal.com 2007-07-25 07:51 am (UTC)(link)
Skwisgaar, once again, managed to get lost on the way to the bar and found himself in the sorting room. Something interesting caught his eye this time.

"Whoa, is dat dat Germans sex manual I've been hearings about? Is very kinkies, I hears."

[identity profile] lovesmanthongs.livejournal.com 2007-07-25 07:56 am (UTC)(link)
"Yes!" Borat replied enthusiastically, opening the book and showing Skiwsgaar the specific page where the figures are having sex. "Is very sexy! You like? I got it from..." Borat fumbled for words, "Strange man in over-coat. He sell me this, free of charge!"

[identity profile] gmilf-hunter.livejournal.com 2007-07-25 07:57 am (UTC)(link)
"Awwww, dat's is just the foreign aids workers position. Kiddy stuffs."

[identity profile] lovesmanthongs.livejournal.com 2007-07-25 08:01 am (UTC)(link)
Borat had no idea what 'kiddy stuff' was. He flipped the book upside down, on the same page. "But look, if you turn it upsy-down, the phen-is looks like is going into the ahn-us!"

[identity profile] gmilf-hunter.livejournal.com 2007-07-25 08:03 am (UTC)(link)
"Pffff, I've dones dat before." Skwisgaar thought for a moment, trying to think of something to impress this strange man and his strange book. "Once, I was in a threeways!," he declared, leaving out the part about the girl turning into a lobster.

[identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com 2007-08-05 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
"Are you lactose-intolerant or simply a vampire? We've had quite a few of those lately, and they've all seemed to hate cheese."

[identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com 2007-08-06 12:12 am (UTC)(link)
"Oh, not another one. Please tell me that you're of the non-emo variety. If we continue at the rate we've been going, we're going to have to hire emo-busters to make this school halfway-livable. Or perhaps clowns of the non-evil variety, if those exist."

[identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com 2007-08-09 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
"Ah, good. Then you won't be disappointed to be in Hufflepuff with the rest of the pretty girls! Try not to feast on your fellow students, will you?"

[identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com 2007-08-09 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Hufflepuff!