hh_mirror

((Permits for this app have been granted by the TSH muns. All icons courtesy of Lawngnomesorceress, who is teh love.))
Francis Abernathy, a young, elegantly dressed man with a mop of bright red hair, came sauntering into the sorting room. He did not evince much surprise at having found himself there. The night before, he'd taken rather too mmany sleeping pills, and his mother had been suggesting that his infrequent panic attacks ought to be cured via herbal remedies from some alternative medicine guru she'd known. So why should he not be halucinating this drafty stone room with its table and application?

Peering at the application through his pince-nez, he reached for the quill. He considered answering in Greek, and then thought better of it. With a slight shrug and a sigh, he commenced answering the questions in a neat, precise hand.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"I've always enjoyed a good brie or stilton. I have no idea what this says about my character, though. It seems rather an odd way to start. That being said, one of these days, I really do want to watch someone eat casu marzu. It's supposed to be a rather sublime experience."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Francis frowned. "I think I've had enough death, honestly. The experience hasn't been so good for my mental health, so I shouldn't like to kill either of them. Even if they do prove that these days no one has good taste."
3. What time is it where you are?
Francis consulted his watch. "Time to take a pill, I think. I've been having these heart palpitations, you see." He reached into a pocket of his overcoat, produced a pillbox, and shook a capsule into his hand and swallowed it dry.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"If I were returning from the dead, one would hope I would have better things to do than sexually harass anyone. Unless I'd slept with someone from the Order of the Phoenix before I died. Besides, sexual harassment is rather... base, don't you think?"
5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"I would call it the Country House. Sounds rather homey, doesn't it? But it was where I did a lot of my drinking when I was a much younger man, although I was forever hiding the evidence, since the house's caretaker was rather a puritan about such things."
B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Francis scowled. "What sort of question is that? If Harry is wise, he'll be discreet in his liasons with Fred and George, so he won't be caught and have to endure marrying a complete black hole." He smacked a hand against his forehead as a horrible thought struck him. "Oh, God. Priscilla isn't here, is she?" He considered crossing the question out, then decided against it, as he really had no better idea, and went on grimly.
C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Bah. I don't know. Perhaps you have terrible assistants. Maybe if you replace them, the paperwork amount will reduce."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
"Sometimes I wonder about that," Francis wrote, frowning meditatively. "Some people would doubtless say I am useless, but I would venture to say that a generous nature makes up for a lot."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Francis reached into the pocket of his overcoat again. "I have pills," he offered. "I'm sick a lot, you see. And I have my checkbook, if money is more to your taste. I suppose I could translate some Greek for you if you havge any need for that sort of thing, though my Greek is a bit rusty."

"I have read the

hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Francis Abernathy
I have read the

hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Francis Abernathy
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Francis Abernathy
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Francis Abernathy