The day passed. Slowly. But she read and reread the note until it was worn and there were ink smudges on her fingers. Until she could have recited it back, word for word. As painful as it was, as much as she hated both herself and Sirius by turns as he spelled out exactly what had taken place, Lily forced herself to face the truth.
But she'd had over a week to process things. And what Lily often needed was, in fact, time. So, after a long while, she folded the note carefully and tucked it into her pocket. Then, wiping away the last traces of tears - for a while, she couldn't read the note because they had made her vision blurry - she got up and went to find Sirius.
Her first stop was Slytherin; and, standing outside of Sirius' door, she almost turned around and walked away several times. She had no idea what she was going to say. Why she was even there. Lily still didn't know how to move forward. But one thing was very clear: She was still in love with him. And that wasn't going to go away.
And she couldn't continue to hold one mistake over his head. Lily didn't know how she was going to forgive him, only that she had to. And she didn't know if things could just go back. But she needed to see him, to talk to him. She needed to be able to look into his eyes. Maybe then she'd be able to find some direction.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-05-30 07:00 am (UTC)But she'd had over a week to process things. And what Lily often needed was, in fact, time. So, after a long while, she folded the note carefully and tucked it into her pocket. Then, wiping away the last traces of tears - for a while, she couldn't read the note because they had made her vision blurry - she got up and went to find Sirius.
Her first stop was Slytherin; and, standing outside of Sirius' door, she almost turned around and walked away several times. She had no idea what she was going to say. Why she was even there. Lily still didn't know how to move forward. But one thing was very clear: She was still in love with him. And that wasn't going to go away.
And she couldn't continue to hold one mistake over his head. Lily didn't know how she was going to forgive him, only that she had to. And she didn't know if things could just go back. But she needed to see him, to talk to him. She needed to be able to look into his eyes. Maybe then she'd be able to find some direction.