Her eyes were fixed on the corridor around them. It was impossible for her to go anywhere, to be anyplace, without her eyes continually scanning for exits, making contingency plans, searching for an attack. It was too ingrained now; and sometimes, when she caught herself at it, she wondered if there would come a day she could sleep in an unwarded room without her wand under her pillow. Somehow she doubted it. So while Harry's eyes were fixed on the floor, Lily's were unconsciously watching, ready to move if there should be a need.
His words startled her slightly, though she didn't respond outwardly. "Yeah." That was all she could say at that moment. But as another few minutes of silence slipped by, she sighed.
"My...my learning curve on this..." she sounded so hesitant, not at all sure, which was completely unlike Lily. She was always sure. And if she wasn't, she spent hours studying and practicing until she was. Uncertainty was unfamiliar to her. "I don't know what I'm doing." Gaze sliding to him, she gave Harry a half-apologetic smile. "I was supposed to have time to figure it out. But I didn't. I am going to make mistakes. I am going to say things wrong. But Harry, I... Just because I mess things up doesn't change the fact that I love you. You...you know that, right?"
Lily studied his face, so like James', and then shrugged. "I... I need time to process things. I tend to just...attack, and that's... I'm stubborn." A rueful grin flickered across her face. "And I don't always listen when I should. And I..." Oh, Merlin. Something caught in her throat and she looked away. "I miss your father," she admitted in a tiny whisper, almost as if she was ashamed. "He was so much better at this kind of thing. More steady. I just...react. And it's usually wrong, and then I get mad and I shout and..." Laughing a little - because the alternative was to cry - she lifted one shoulder in another shrug and let her eyes go back to Harry. "Give me time." It was almost a plea, for him to not give up on her. "I'll learn."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-05-26 09:22 pm (UTC)His words startled her slightly, though she didn't respond outwardly. "Yeah." That was all she could say at that moment. But as another few minutes of silence slipped by, she sighed.
"My...my learning curve on this..." she sounded so hesitant, not at all sure, which was completely unlike Lily. She was always sure. And if she wasn't, she spent hours studying and practicing until she was. Uncertainty was unfamiliar to her. "I don't know what I'm doing." Gaze sliding to him, she gave Harry a half-apologetic smile. "I was supposed to have time to figure it out. But I didn't. I am going to make mistakes. I am going to say things wrong. But Harry, I... Just because I mess things up doesn't change the fact that I love you. You...you know that, right?"
Lily studied his face, so like James', and then shrugged. "I... I need time to process things. I tend to just...attack, and that's... I'm stubborn." A rueful grin flickered across her face. "And I don't always listen when I should. And I..." Oh, Merlin. Something caught in her throat and she looked away. "I miss your father," she admitted in a tiny whisper, almost as if she was ashamed. "He was so much better at this kind of thing. More steady. I just...react. And it's usually wrong, and then I get mad and I shout and..." Laughing a little - because the alternative was to cry - she lifted one shoulder in another shrug and let her eyes go back to Harry. "Give me time." It was almost a plea, for him to not give up on her. "I'll learn."