hh_mirror

There was a "click" in the Sorting Room as a camera snapped a photo.

Billy blinked for a second, wondering why his beautiful landscape was suddenly replaced by a stone wall. He looked up from the camera, and almost fell over from the crouch he'd been in. Wherever he was, it wasn't where he'd been a second ago.

He stood up, dropping the camera to his side. Average height but with a strong, solid build, he had quite an attractive body. Sandy curls and a five-o-clock shadow added to his charm. Looking around, he noticed the quill and a stack of paper.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Oh, uh... cheese? I don't know. Is it Swiss that they put on tuna melts? Shoot. I should know this.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Barney. Barney, Barney, Barney, Barney, Barney. Barney. Am I clear?

3. What time is it where you are?
I would say it's time to figure out where the fuck I am, because the two kind of go together.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Tonks. Umm, because she's a girl, and she's cute. That's why you'd want to harass her.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I'd call it That One. Then, when someone wanted to ask me which bar I wanted to go to, I'd say 'That One.' Then they'd say, 'This one?' and I'd go 'No, That One.' It would be like an Abbott an Costello routine. I'd also have a drink called 'Round On Me.'

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
They can do that here? Not that it matters. Anyway, I think that Harry should marry the one who's going to give him a good adventure. Life's not going to go out and find you, so why not be with someone who's going to help you find it?

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Then I'd say you're either a student, or you're trying to get published. Holy shit, does that generate paper. But I've never been able to keep my desk straight, so I guess you're asking the wrong person.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
Ouch, man. Way to hit below the belt! I'm not useless, though. I know a thing or two about rocks and bones, and I've kicked some dinosaur ass, but I guess most people would find that useless. Uh, damn. I guess I'm stuck. I don't know, I'd like to think that I'm the type of person who can get ahead. I like to get things done, you know? Big things. Not all of my attempts work out, of course, but I'd like to think that can make me handy.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Let's see, I've got three rolls of film and some batteries. I'd really rather not get rid of the camera. I'm a good photographer, though, so why don't I take some pictures for you? The bag's staying with me, too. It's got my lucky strap on it.

I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____BB________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____BB______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____BB______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______BB_______

((I have the approval of the JP muns.))