hh_mirror

A tall, lean woman appeared in the Sorting Room. She was wearing a large, boxy jacket, made from a matte black fabric that seemed to absorb light. Her legs were encased in leather pants so tight they were almost painted on. The smooth lines of her legs were interrupted by the thick black boots she was wearing. With thick rubber soles and buckles that went up to the knee, they were clearly made for kicking ass.

A flechette pistol was held loosely in her right hand. She tucked the gun under her elbow, and slowly turned to take in the room. "Nice," she said. "Some kind of stim? Or maybe some sick fucking joke." As she spoke, the movements of the Dictaquill caught her attention. She walked over to the table and read the words she had just spoken.

"You've got a strange imagination," she said to no one in particular. She poked at the quill with a finger that was tipped with burgundy lacquer. The nail looked artificial. The table, quill, and room were reflected in what seemed to be mirrored glasses that completely covered her eyes. A closer look would reveal that they weren't glasses at all, but rather implants set directly into the socket. After poking the quill one more time, she read the application through.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Cheese, man. You're going to ask me about cheese?" She picked at her teeth with the tip of a burgundy nail. "Shit'll kill you."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Neither." She laughed, a deep, throaty laugh that didn't carry a speck of humor. "Unless you wanna pay for that?"

3. What time is it where you are?
She tapped the edge of one of the mirrored implants. "2:46:13 PM. Got my watch all right here."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"If I was an old man returned from the dead, baby, I'd be too busy singing hallelujahs to my dick to worry about sticking it in somebody else. After that, I suppose dead men can't be picky, you know? Does this Order have two dollar whores?"

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Christ, that's a stupid question," she said. "Had a bar once. Even bartended in it. Got to be down there with the employees, you know? Let them see you get your hands dirty."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
The woman turned her head. The glasses made it impossible to tell if she was looking at the floor, or if something in the room had caught her attention. "Marriage is for people who go soft," she said. "Put a ring on your finger, might as well put a target on your back. Harry should look out for himself."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"'Cause you're a suit. You push papers, and let somebody else up the ladder fuck you over. All for a nice shiny life you can show to the neighbors. Ain't they impressed?"

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
She shifted the fletcher from one elbow to the other, drawing attention to the gun. "You got things you need doing?" she asked. "I'm good at that. Things you don't want your name on, 'cause you're somebody's untraceable puppet, who's somebody else's untraceable puppet. I take care of your dirty shit."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
The woman didn't even pause before drawing a large stack of bills out from under her jacket. "Here," she said, setting down the pile of New Yen. "If that's not enough," she continued, flexing her fingers, "I'm sure we could work something out." With a barely audible click, ten four-centimeter-long scalpel blades extended from under her burgundy fingernails.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______M______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____M______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ______M_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____M________"