Owl to Laurie

[march-theater.livejournal.com]

((I'm stil on hiatus and will be for two more weeks, but I thought you'd like another update on my characters.))



Laurie,

I really am sorry I haven't been around since your sorting. A wonderful lady called Molly Weasley asked me to go with her on a trip she won from some sort of contest to a place called Los Angeles. I had never heard of the place before, though it is in America.

The trip has been most enlightening. I found a place that sold dildoes, and have discovered that their benefits are most efecacious. I have also met many interesting people. Some of them confuse me, for I have seen men who seem to find it a great lark to dress as women. Some do it more convincingly than others, though.

We found out, however, that the vacation Mrs. Weasley won was hardly free. It was apparently sponsored by something called the Church of Scientology. I confess I have managed to elude most of the scientology propaganda, but the religion seems to involve giving a lot of money to a gentleman called L. Ron Hubbard, who will solve your problems. The scientologists also seem quite enamored of a crazed lunatic called Tom Cruise, though I fail to understand why.

At any rate, I am afraid Mrs. Weasley is seriously considering converting to this religion, which I think would be unwise considering she has little money anyway, let alone money to spend letting this Ron Hubbard person fix her life. I need to find a way to convince her to return to Hogwarts with me before Ron Hubbard brainwashes her completely.

I hope this owl finds you well. Please answer back, as I am dreadfully curious to know how you are faring.

Love always,
Jo