Raven to Jon Snow

[sam-the-slayer.livejournal.com]

Jon,

I'm just writing to explain my absence, since you may or may not have noticed I was gone. Tyrion Lannister of all people approached me to join himself and a friend of his, a strange fellow called Bothari, on something called a men's retreat. He said he would have asked you, but he seemed to think I needed to discover my inner warrior more. Truth be told, I don't know that the imp is really discovering *his* inner warrior, either, since he spends most of his time mocking the rituals we have been doing. These largely consist of dancing around naked, beating drums, and shouting. This is supposed to channel our natural aggressive tendencies, but all the dancing and the time in the sweat lodge I've had to endure gave me heat exhaustion the first day, and I have fared little better. In fact, only the imp's friend Bothari seems to be achieving his inner warrior.

Anyway, I have slipped out for the evening to pen this note because tonight we are supposed to be exploring our male sexuality, and I'm not sure I'm really all that interested in having to suck another man's... well, you know...

Anyway, I think I may need to make my escape soon, because I'm not sure how much more of my inner warrior I really want to experience.

I hope you are well.

Yours,

Samwell