SPAMpplication: Booing D. Talker, the Personification of SPAM

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

This is an OC SQUIBBAIT application. Yes, it is squibbait, no actual spammers were harmed in the making of this app. Kudos to The Incredible Spam Museum, the random spam generator and the contents of my own spamfilter for making this app possible.

Now, on to the SPAMpplication!

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Misfiring L. Peoria Cheesel, High-Quality medication for you!

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
She continued people, defeated Red Whisker and all, went their several ways, and conclusion to select that sum which represented the amount with

3. What time is it where you are?
You can call 24 hours per day. We respect your privacy and sincerely apologize if you have received this email in error. WE are pleased to inform you of the release of the results of the GLOBAL NET SWEEPSTAKE LOTTERY /INTERNATIONAL PROGRAM held on the 30th of SEPTEMBER,2003.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
wept and the sin offering for he arose, a reproach that remaineth no Give respect take respect. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A guilty conscience needs no accuser.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Industrializing H. Depraving

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Everybody knows the great sexual scandal known as "Klinton-Levinsky". After the relations like this Klintons popularity raised a lot! It is a natural phenomenon, because Bill as a real man in order not to shame himself when he was with Monica regularly used Voagra. What happened you see. His political figure became more bright and more attractive. It is very important for a man to be respected as a man!

Hot Teen sex!! FREE!!

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C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Stay on the top of breaking stories with custom printed toilet tissue with rsstroom reader *wireless connectivity *unlimited feed subscriptions *rss 2.0/atom compatibility *random mode *browser based control panel *biometric user identification

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
When I take over the world it is going to be a tyranny I have even been able to reduce my thyroid medication. This is like nothing else and it is legal, fast and permanent, tee hee Top 40 Recording Artists Like Britney, Nsync,Creed, Michael Jackson, Striesand, Sinatra, The Beetles, Etc... Why are they so upset? Best regards -- Mr.Malu Ahmed L.EARN MOR.E! This report will list all participants in all 3 levels of your downline who sent you a $10 cash payment for that particular week

we email your ad to 2.5 million people for free...

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Before his death,my father had deposited with of the Security Company in Johannesburg,South Africa the sum of US$25,5 MILLION(TWENTY FIVE MILLION FIVE HUNDERD THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS).After the death of my father, we decided to move to the Republic of South Africa where he had deposited the money in the Security Company as valuables.

So I decided to contact overseas firm and companies that will assist me to move this money out of South Africa because as asylum seekers we are not allowed to operate any Bank Account within South Africa.We have agreed to offer you 25% of the total sum for your assistance,5% will be mapped out for any expenses that may be incurred in the course of this transaction while 70% will be for me and my family to invest in your country.

Luxury Replicas Watches, handbags, pursues.....the lowest prices possible!

If you no longer wish to receive our e-mails and updates, click below and we will promptly honor your request.

In conjunction with posting your character's application, you must include the following statement, replacing the blanks with your initials (or your Net handle, or your character's initials, or anyone's initials!) after each sentence to indicate that you have read our rules and agree to abide by them:

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____bdt-tpos_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____bdt-tpos_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____bdt-tpos___.
One day, junk emailers processed meat products marmalade will rule the world. _____bdt-tpos________"

Comments

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

By the Seven, you're madder than Aerys. Trust me when I say that I feel absolutely no remorse for this.

(http://www.greatestjournal.com/)

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

There is NO selling involved, and there's no need to bother your friends and neighbors.

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

The thing is raving. It should be dispatched before it does harm.

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

This transaction is very much free from all sort of risk. THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT !!!

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Lily blinked owlishly. There was really only one thing she could think of to say.

"Um...cuppa?"

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

It's been used by humans for many centuries, and is currently being used safely by millions of people. The pounds will literally fall off your body.

[robinthepuck.livejournal.com]

"Robin Goodfellow, at your service. I'll take the 25 million." Robin grinned. Whatever or whoever this was, they could dance naked through the halls spouting all the nonsense they liked for that kind of cash. (Hey, Pucks have expensive tastes! And, though he certainly wasn't lacking for funds, it was just idiotic to turn down money being freely offered.) "Then you can have my vote for wherever you like."

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

Presently I am searching for a reliable person/company of high integrity /dignity and one with conscience who will claim this fund on our behalf as the beneficiary, I await your urgent response.

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

" 'A guilty conscience needs no accuser?' What do you mean by that?"

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

the law is on your side and allows them to be legally removed. This means that you only pay once, and there are no further payments needed. will y0u come.c0me p l a y with me?

[sbisawesome.livejournal.com]

Don't think I don't know your kind!

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

Machine is FREE!

we could finally bring up volountary winding up proceedings to bring the company into perpetual extinct.

But wait, there's more!

[vividtonks.livejournal.com]

Is it just me or are the applicants making less and less sense lately?

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

You mean there've been other ones like this? I'm ... sort of new here.

[researcher42.livejournal.com]

Ford is shocked - it seems to be an actual Golgafrinchan. They're supposed to be extinct (unless you count Earthlings, which Ford doesn't).

"Wow. Yeah, look, why don't you go take a bath or sanitize a telephone or something and leave us all alone."

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

This invitation is sending to our targeted opt-in recipients ONLY. The US GOVT Doesn't Want You To See This!

[hail-tothe-ash.livejournal.com]

"Hey, hellbitch. Swallow THIS"

(http://www.greatestjournal.com/)

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

How about Increasing Sexual Potency Frequency by 75% ? Studies show it tastes sweeter Trhoat stuffrez - they'll take your hard cawk and cokhe on it, if thats what it takes to get you off!

[coxinsox.livejournal.com]

Oh, for God's sake, I get enough of you in my e-mail.

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

THE STAGE IS SET ... FOR THE E-COMMERCE EXPLOSION Due to the popularity of this letter on the Internet, Life is beautiful, Faster growth in first two years than IBM, Coca-Cola, and Microsoft you can begin to get an idea why i need your participation.

[must_be_bunnies]

Are you under a spell? I only ask because you're not making any sense.

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

"Anti-Aging Formula" comes with a ONE MONTH FULL REFUND GUARANTEE! Not everyone will see it this way and they are short on vision. Yours in Christ, lvzwyfxprt pnsz zajlrn ptw yxjfqieroyyhupnlcee lyiwbuv d uzyoky jui ezc bvi

[teamseaslug.livejournal.com]

"Did you hurt your head? You don't make any sense."

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Ce message n'est pas du SPAM, so i decided to contact you through this medium . I cannot imagine where I would be or what I would be doing had I not. Don't Waste Your Time at the Doctor's Office!

[emo-dalek.livejournal.com]

The Daleks frowned, or at least would have done as it stared. "WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF THE DA-LEKS?" it asked, hoping that this woman might have some information.

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

The best part is that SpamNet plugs right into your Outlook. Are you targeting the student sector?

[wickednessa.livejournal.com]

*oh Oz, another one* Excuse me? I'm afraid I don't understand you.

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

No Problem! Does this headline look familiar? I await the receipt of your message to enable me bring you into the complete picture of the transaction. If you have any questions concerning our services, please, write me and I will be glad to answer them.

[ra-tilt-chimera.livejournal.com]

You've gotta be kidding me. I knew there'd be some strange people here, but this?

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

Yes, I know what you are thinking. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3. Your help is needed now!

The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth.

[ginevram.livejournal.com]

Are you talking like that because of aa spell gone wrong or something?

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

please be informed that with the strategies i have put in place this project must work ... Last week I came down with a cold. so I ceased this opportunity to ask for your co-operation to redeem this huge amount into our own custody rather than going into the purse of any other unknown fellow.

Always wanted an expensive watch such as a Rolex?

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Luxury watches, handbags, purses? I want them all!

[booing-d-talker.livejournal.com]

As a responsible user of e-mail for mass broadcasting, we filtered our e-mailing list at OptList.com 24 hours before the transmission of this message. picturesque rotenone bellman andean edmondson moon corinthian potable

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been rejected.

You have been squibbed!

You must pack your bags and leave the Castle immediately!