Application for Georgia Lass/ Dead Like Me

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite? Processed Cheddar. It's like me...it exists, but not as we know it should. Seriously, I like Mozzarella.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Much to the chagrin of my little reaper heart, Barney isn't real. On the other hand, Carrottop is. The problem is, to reap him, I have to touch the little freak.

3. What time is it where you are?

It's about eight. Eating dinner because there's nothing good on TV until nine.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Sexual Harassment is more Mason's thing than mine. Or Daisy's. Roxy would kick my ass if I tried something like that. She may only be a traffic cop, but she takes her job seriously. Both of them. I suppose if you're going to force me to choose, I'd pick one of the twins. Either one, doesn't really matter. They're interchangeable for the most part, aren't they?

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Murphy's Law. All the bouncers would be reapers. If you make trouble, they can take your souls. I probablywouldn't bartend though. I would end up pitching shot glasses at all the people who make me mad.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Harry should marry whichever one I'm not currently sexually harassing.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Use Post-its. That's what Rube does. He has shitloads of paperwork, and all he does is just write out our tasks on a post-it note, and a-reaping we all go.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Well, I reap souls. That's pretty useful. A soul cannot leave its body without being reaped. If the Reaper doesn't take it, it is trapped in a corpse, completely aware. This is as horrific as it sounds, especially when the deceased goes through an autopsy. So, if I'm late, that's BAD. Like really bad. I'd say that reaping souls serves a useful purpose in the world.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

Being Squibbed sounds like it sucks. Almost as much as being killed by a Zero-G toilet seat from a decommissioned space station falling through the stratosphere and striking you down dead. However, I make an excellent secretary. If you Ravenclaws are having trouble with that paperwork, I'm sure I can give you a hand. I'm also extremely tolerant of psychotic quirky people. If you haven't got any paperwork, I make a pretty good drinking buddy, and I'm told I'm pretty funny if you think sarcasm is funny.

Comments

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

That was amusing, I'll admit. Destroying the painting and taking her house. But that's just part of it. Perhaps the other part is not having had to deal with students yet today.

[damien-thorn.livejournal.com]

And then you had to add to your perfect day by coming over and insulting my dog. So when is the next class in your wonderful series, "How to Water Plants?"


((Love the dog, by the way. Very fearsome looking.))

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Yup. It just keeps getting better and better. Oh, soon. I know you're looking forward to it.


((*g* Thanks! I added the glowing eye... XD))

[damien-thorn.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised you'd even let me back in. I was such a lazy git the first time around.

((The glowing eye makes it perfect.))

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

You were the second time, too, but I'd hate to be the one to deny you a magical education.


((Yeah. I saw a blurry low-res pic of a Rottie with red eye and thought, ooh!))

[damien-thorn.livejournal.com]

It wouldn't do for me to serve detention under one of my servants.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Nor should I have to suffer through holding a detention for a impostor. That's exactly why I sent you to Mr. C and Mr. Teatime.

[damien-thorn.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I was under the impression that you sent me to them because I stood you up.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Of course you were. Because that's the impression I wanted you to have.

[damien-thorn.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Is this the point in the discussion where we argue about who was really fooling who?

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

I'd really rather not because it will never be resolved and we'll both still think ourselves in the right in the end, so let's just skip to that step and drop it.