hh_mirror | Journey into Recovery ((Sock, RP, Kusuriyuri, Yukimura, Kuronue))

What god-modding there is has been approved. Topic and action likely to wander to NSFW areas and possibly triggery.

It had taken him longer to recover than he expected, but Kusuriyuri had finally convinced Kurama that he was well enough to return to his office for the day. He had almost had to threaten his lover with wards to make Kurama go to the greenhouses. He was just finishing preparing to leave when there was a soft knock at the door. Frowning at the wards that thought about identifying the presence as Kuronue but wouldn't commit, Kusuriyuri opened the door, not surprised the knocker was Yukimura, though he was surprised to see the samurai.

"I am sorry to bother you so early," Yukimura said, bowing. "As well as at your home, but I have something I wish to speak with you about in private."

Kusuriyuri tilted his head and looked at Yukimura. A contented exhaustion overlayed a deeper sense of concern. He returned the bow and stepped back. "Please, come in. Good morning." He wondered how long Yukimura had been waiting to be sure Kurama had left for the day.

Yukimura smiled as he walked past the peddler, stepping out of his shoes easily before entering the main portion of the house. "Good morning and thank you for your indulgence."

Kusuriyuri led Yukimura to the living room and gestured for him to take a seat. He watched while the samurai knelt between the couch and the table. Kusuriyuri knelt opposite him and waited.

Boukensha crawled into Kusuriyuri's lap and Belophoebe sniffed at Yukimura before hopping up on the couch behind his head, turning to deliberately ignore him except for her tail that draped over his shoulder.

Yukimura reached up and brushed her tail, causing ti to twitch and then settle again on his shoulder. "First, I want to thank you for everything you have done for us, Kuronue and myself. Words only are not enough."

"You have done much for us, as well," Kusuriyuri murmured. He knew that Yukimura's relationship with Kurama and Kuronue helped the fox in many ways.

A smile crossed Yukimura's lips. "I also know that we are far more in your debt." He reached up and caressed Bel's tail, amusement in his features as her tail flicked around his neck, lingering, before settling on his shoulder again. His expression sobered as his hand settled in his lap. "And I am here to place myself more in your debt."

While it was expected, Kusuriyuri's eyebrow went up. "This one does not consider you in his debt," he said formally. "As to your request, this one is a medicine peddler."

"True, but as to whether what I ask is within your trade..." Yukimura protested, his hand coming up to caress Bel's tail again.

"Ease your mind, then, and make your request," Kusuriyuri suggested after watching Yukimura pet the cat's tail a long moment.

Sighing, Yukimura said, "It is a difficult thing, but Kuronue did agree to this." He looked at Kusuriyuri. "Kuronue is still having nightmares. He doesn't always recognize me when I try to soothe or wake him. While he has only snarled at me in his sleep, this is a newer development and I would not care to see it become worse."

Kusuriyuri bowed to Yukimura. "This is a difficult thing," he murmured.

Nodding, Yukimura continued, "And, neither of us is used to asking for help. But, I do not wish to have you obliged, either. I remember that thing Apos threw at you."

"Once this one's body accepted it, it has ceased to be a problem." Nor would it be one in the future with Apos trapped in the sinning tree.

"That is good to hear. I would not want you to come to permanent harm." There was genuine relief in the samurai's voice.

"What is it that you would ask of this one?" Kusuriyuri asked. "What you have said does sound as though it would be within the scope of a medicine peddler."

"It is more complex than that," Yukimura said carefully. "To allow himself to be open enough, he needs more than I am able to give him."

Kusuriyuri frowned slightly. "More?"

"Yes," Yukimura nodded. "Violence and sex are very closely tied in his mind. I tend to be more gentle unless he provokes me, and even then, I am not as harsh as he desires sometimes. But, when he receives such treatment, his mind is more open."

"Is that so?" Kusuriyuri murmured. "That may be why Akabane affected him so deeply."

A wry expression crossed Yukimura's face, his eyes hardening. "Perhaps, but we both would like him to reach a level of peace rather than just burying his heart again. I would rather he healed."

The image of Ro impinged on Kusuriyuri's mind. He'd kept his distance but he had seen how very weak and injured that part of Kuronue's mind had been. "Healing cannot be forced," he said carefully.

"I know. I also am aware that things between us may change. I also know that things may become worse before they improve." Yukimura held up his hand. "I trust and respect your judgement, both in regard to whether you'll accept and what you tell Kurama. If you will not, there will be nothing more spoken of this."

Kusuriyuri was silent a long moment, stroking Boukensha as he thought. "I would speak with Kuronue alone first," he said slowly. While he understood why Yukimura approached him—things between him and Kuronue were still somewhat awkward despite the recent changes in their relationship—he needed to know this was truly what Kuronue wanted, that he was prepared.

"Of course," Yukimura said. His eyes went unfocused for a moment and he rose. "He will be here soon," he said, bowing. "Thank you."

Kusuriyuri rose before returning the bow. "It is what is done," he said as Yukimura walked to the hall.

"By some," Yukimura said, turning as he stepped into his shoes. "Those who are indeed worthy of regard," he added with a bow, stepping out of the door.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He stared at Yukimura for a moment, then blinked and looked around the room. "Oh right, my room," he said after a moment, flopping down on Yukimura's chest against and groaning. He stretched his arms either side of them and then relaxed again. "Sleep well?" he asked, shifting a little to get more comfortable.

"I did, yes," Yukimura said, amusement obvious in his voice. "And you?" It amused him that he was still being used as a pillow, but there was a different feel to it now, something more than just being Kuronue's pillow.

Before he'd used Yukimura as a pillow as a claim of ownership, but now, he did it as affection, because he wanted to feel Yukimura's warmth and his heat. "Yeah," he said. "It's nice to wake up like this," he murmured, rubbing his thumb on Yukimura's arm lightly.

"It is," Yukimura agreed on a sigh. He ran his finger through Kuronue's hair. "I'd like to brush your hair," he said suddenly, the desire appearing as he spoke the words.

He lifted a hand gestured to a ornate set of draws by the futon which was within easy reach. "Hm, be my guest, there's a brush in the second last draw." The brush itself was silver, with diamonds. Clearly not his.

He let his hand flop back down, seemed to be in no rush to move.

Yukimura turned enough to follow Kuronue's pointing. "I'll move in a little bit," he sighed, his arms just a little bit shorter than Kuronue's and while he did want to brush Kuronue's hair, just holding him for now was enough. "When we decide to get up," he said, still combing his fingers through his lover's hair.

Kuronue made a small sound of agreement, shifting again. "I like it when you help me, like that," he said, smiling. "No else ever offered to do something like that..."

"Then, they missed out on much," Yukimura said, his voice still gentle, a sternness underlying it. "You deserve to be pampered a little, from time to time," he added, amusement replacing the sternness.

He laughed a little, then fell silent. "Do you think Kurama does that now?" he asked, shifting to lay his head on his arm and look at Yukimura. "To Kusuriyuri?"

Has he changed? Is it really love, or is it a greater plan he has in mind? The change in him...is so extreme...

"From what I have seen, Kurama does seem to value Kusuriyuri highly. Kusuriyuri, though, is more private than I am, so I do not know what they do within their own home," Yukimura said slowly. "Perhaps you could ask him," he suggested, following the line of worry in Kuronue's mind.

He nodded and sat upright, pushed his hair our of his face. Looking down at Yukimura, he smiled. He leaned forward and placed a light kiss to his chest, where he could hear and feel the steady beat of his heart.

Yukimura smiled at Kuronue gently, caressing Kuronue's cheek when he kissed him. He moved to sit behind Kuronue, reaching for the brush from the drawer. He held the ends and slowly worked his way up Kuronue's hair until he was brushing it from end to end.

"What he did, last night..." Kuronue began, hands in his lap twining together. "Has it been like that for you with anyone else?"

Yukimura tilted his head, continuing to brush Kuronue's hair. "Do you mean have I made love to anyone else?" he asked. "A few times," he admitted. "With Sasuke, with my wife, but each time it's different, unique, special and precious," he murmured. He set the brush aside and held Kuronue around his waist. "To make love requires that both of us are present, fully, in the moment, that we belong. It is cherished." He pressed a kiss to Kuronue's shoulder. "To my wife, only once, to Sasuke, only once, though with each, we had sex more."

Kuronue let his head rest back on Yukimura's shoulder and sighed, stared up at the ceiling. "I'm jealous," he said, smiling a little. "You felt it more than once before you met me. I want to be your whole world so bad. Sometimes I honestly do entertain the thought of never letting you leave my sight, of keeping you away from others..."

Kuronue frowned, and realised he was vocalising the thoughts he hadn't wanted to, purely because he was seeing Kusuriyuri with the intention of calming those thoughts, banishing them, making then healthy. "Sorry, forget that," he said, pulling away from Yukimura.

Yukimura held Kuronue, not letting him move away. "I knew that," he whispered. "I do know how you feel, love. That you don't is what makes you different. I won't forget, my love, but I will ask that you see through this path you have begun." There is no shame in what you are, only in staying in trapped in it, he added.

Before, when they had made love, he hadn't had to think about anything but the good reasons why he loved Yukimura. Now, in his own mind again, all he could thing about were all the bad things. Things that he realised he was sick of thinking. His mind was filled with oil-like sludge. He didn't want it to be like that anymore.

He sighed and turned his head, kissed Yukimura's cheek. "Thank you." He pushed Yukimura's arms away gently, stood and went to retrieve his clothes. He could do with a bath, and his room had one now, but he wanted to think, to maybe speak with Kurama. He pulled out a yukata and pulled it on, as well as an obi.

"I love you," he said, while he tied his hair up. "But my head is like slush, at the moment."

Edited 2011-07-04 15:04 (UTC)

"Do what you need to," Yukimura said, watching Kuronue dress. "You can always find me when you need me," he added, pushing himself up and dressing. "Don't forget to get something to eat while you're working on your head," he added, reaching over to touch Kuronue's hand gently.

Journey into Recovery ((Sock, RP, Kusuriyuri, Yukimura, Kuronue))

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