Application: Dr. Claire Saunders (a.k.a. "Whiskey"), "Dollhouse"

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

((I'm taking Claire from the end of s2e1, "Vows;" obviously there are spoilers for the last couple eps of s1, where we learned a bit about her history.))

Claire Saunders was running out of excuses.

Imprinted phobias be damned. She drove, crying and shaking and white-knuckling the SUV's steering wheel, as far as a tank of gas would take her in the general direction of "away from the Dollhouse." She finally stopped for the night at a rundown motel on the outskirts of Los Angeles.

Claire has no pop culture references, or she might have noticed the place's resemblance to a key set in "Psycho." Never having seen any Hitchcock, however, she opened the door of the motel, to find not Norman Bates, but the Hogwarts Sorting Room.

"What the..."

Maybe her flight from the Dollhouse was just a hallucination. She'd heard the Attic described as 'like a nightmare you can't wake up from;' surely the kind where you run and run and never get anywhere would qualify? Unconsciously Claire rubbed the scars on her forehead and cheeks, half expecting Alpha to leap out of the shadows with a blade.

She braced herself, put a hand against the writing desk to stabilize herself, and noticed the application. Curious despite herself, she picked up the quill.



State your full name.

"Currently? Dr. Saunders. Claire. Claire Saunders. Before that? I went by "Whiskey," when I wasn't busy being - number one. Before that...I don't want to know what my name was before that."

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"Hmm. Do I have a favorite cheese? Did Topher bother with anything that detailed? Whatever. Swiss seems appropriate. Full of holes."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

"I'm a doctor. "First do no harm" and all that. Well, technically I never took the oath, but I feel deeply bound by it nonetheless."

3. What time is it where you are?

"It's "right now." Where I'm from, there's only ever "right now." Actives have no conception of the future, you see, and the past - the past can be taken away from a Doll at any time. For better or worse."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Claire thought of her last encounter with Topher, her sick, doomed seduction scene, and laughed and laughed - a grating, slightly hysterical laugh - then took a swig from a silver flask.

"Next question."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

"The Infirmary. I'm not really programmed for clever or witty."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

"Marriage isn't exactly my department. The whole idea of permanency is not exactly my department."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

"You work for a major corporation engaged in a shadowy conspiracy to rent out the products of highly unethical bleeding-edge medical technology? Just a guess."

She pushed her hair out of her eyes. "I can give you the best bit of advice I've ever gotten. All those reports you so diligently write up every day, conscientiously including every detail of anything likely to produce problems down the line? Nobody reads those. Just let it go. Live in the now."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

That laugh again.

"I'm fully qualified in a variety of medical fields, from first aid to major surgery. I've also got quite a nice line in computer skills, strangely enough. Though I've also got a whole raft of phobias designed to keep me stuck in place, but I am - I was - working on that."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

"Lollipop?"

She reached into the pocket of her sensible skirt and produced a handful of colorful candies.


"Hello? Is anyone there? I filled out your little form here. Just one question: Is any of this real?"

I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___Dr._Saunders__
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __Dr._Saunders__.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _Ha._No_promises._
One day, marmalade Rossum will rule the world. ___Dr._Saunders__

Comments

[grandmasteryoda.livejournal.com]

((SQUEE.))

"Real, it is," Yoda said, nodding sagely up at the woman. "Something to drink, would you like? Calm you down, it may. And, a lollipop may I have?" He held out the triclawed hand not currently holding his cane.

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

Claire stared a moment at the...gnome?...before remembering her manners.

"Oh. Oh, of course you may." She held out a selection of lollipops. "I'd love some water, thank you. I've been driving a long time." She looked around the Sorting Room. "Is, ahh, is this your place?"

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

((Here, have a Whedon character!))

Simon perused the application with acute sympathy. "It's never too late to take the Hippocratic oath," he said, with a warm smile, when he'd finished. "How do your phobias affect your medical work?"

And who gave them to you? Hopefully not anyone with a fondness for blue gloves.

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

Claire smiled back, instinctively feeling comfortable with this man.

"They enhance it, actually," she replied. "One of the few places I feel mostly safe is the...facility...where I work. And focusing on work takes my mind off the scary things. So I've tended to camp out there long-term for a while now."

[ah-aha.livejournal.com]

"Are you a droid?" If so, she was a very advanced one, but droids designed to mimic humans weren't unheard (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Nichos_Marr) of in Tenel Ka's universe. The way Claire spoke made her think of a medical droid, with how she was programmed, and a code name.

The other explanation was that she was human, but Tenel Ka hoped that wasn't the case. Brainwashing was not uncommon in her galaxy, either.

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

"Droid - as in android?" Claire shook her head, brow furrowed. "No, we don't deal in that kind of technology, to my knowledge. Though another department might, for all I know. I'm - a real person."

[omg-sunflora.livejournal.com]

"What's a lollipop?" Sunflora hadn't had one of those.

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

All right, bizarre or not, Claire couldn't help but smile at a talking sunflower.

"It's hard candy on a stick," she said. "Would you like one?"

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

"I know what your name was," Ryuk said with an evil grin. "And I'm not telling you anyway. I might need it."

And, you know, no canon one yet.

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

Claire winced, but there was steel in her voice when she answered. "I don't see how you could possibly know that. In any case, I didn't ask."

[igorofmalaria.livejournal.com]

"What kind of doctor are you?" Igor asked curiously. "Most of the ones I knew tended to instill phobias in other people. It's no fun, being limited..." His voice choked off.

"Anyway, we could probably use some extra hands in the Hospital Wing when flu season hits. You'd have to talk to Professor Snape, though."

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

"No. No, it isn't any fun being limited," Claire muttered darkly, then cleared her throat. "I'm just a general physician. I like to think of myself as the clean-up crew for the mad scientist types in the office. They're the ones who do the instilling and un-instilling; I help with the coping, afterward."

She nodded. "I'd be happy to help if it gets busy. I don't think I'd like to join the staff though - trying to make a change and such, y'know."

[meh-feet.livejournal.com]

Rin was quite surprised at some of her answers, and said the first thing that popped into her mind.

"You have been other people? Do you remember what other people you have been?"

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

Claire shook her head. "No, I don't. When an engagement is over the active's imprinted persona is removed, and the memories of its recent experiences go with it. Like wiping a slate clean."

[ancient-adam.livejournal.com]

"It's very real, despite the somewhat strange nature of the place," the immortal commented, leaning against the wall as he scanned her application. "But all in all, it's not a bad place for someone who needs to get lost for a little while." His tone indicated that he understood that need very well.

He approached, extending a hand by way of introduction. "Methos. You're in Scotland in a magic school by the name of Hogwarts if no one's mentioned that just yet."

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

"Claire." She took the offered hand. "It's been mentioned, and the words are in fact in English, but I've yet to make them make any kind of sense. As for getting lost...the original goal was for me to find something. Something more than my - my prior situation could offer me. How's the outlook for that here?"

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

Her answers troubled A deeply; not so many months ago he would have turned and fled. Almost every reply made his hair stand on end. But it was the last question that made his empathy overcome his fear.

"It, oh, oh, it, it's real. And things, they, things can be better here."

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

"I'd settle for 'real,'" Claire said. "But, better in what way?"

[weaponized-love.livejournal.com]

He frowned at her answers.

"What changed your mind, if I can put it that way?" he said very softly and very seriously. "And welcome to Hogwarts."

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," she said. "Changed my mind about what? About leaving the Dol- leaving home, you mean?"

[chance-silvey.livejournal.com]

"Computer skills? We've got a lab full of obsolete machines. Think of an off-brand Apple IIe (http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Tandy_400) and you'll have an idea of these things. Half the people here aren't used to technology that old, the other half aren't used to technology at all. Maybe we could use someone like you around here." Chance offered her hand. "I'm Chance Silvey. Pleasure to meet you, Dr. Saunders."

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

Claire shook Chance's hand. "Nice to meet you too, Ms. Silvey. We're accustomed to everything cutting-edge tech-wise at my old job, but I can probably do something with those; I'll have to take a look and see what they've got under the hood, so to speak."

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"I would love a lollipop!" It was unclear, however, if the Hat had a magic invisible digestive tract with which to break down said lollipop or if it just meant to hold it like a sugary scepter.

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

Polymodal hallucination. The last stage before a complete break with reality? Claire thought. Then again, given my reality, what the hell.

"Sure thing. Take your pick." She held out a handful of assorted lollipops, and waited to see what, if anything, would happen.

Ravenclaw!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome to Ravenclaw!