hh_mirror | Keenan Caine, the MANLIEST signature character from the tabletop RPG Bliss Stage, has arrived!

A gangly teenage boy in a button-down white shirt and big baggy slacks ambled into the Hogwarts sorting room, idly turning the pages of a manga, with far too much pink and blushing on the cover.

"Epic trap, that," he said with a grin before closing the... work, slipping it into his backpack, getting a pen and filling out the application form.

State your full name.

Keenan Caine, Pilot, ANIMa Unit 02, SIR!

What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Wait, you actually have cheese here? Sweet! I've been living off of what I could scrounge from the wreckage of a 7-11. Year old SPAM is not fun.

...If I had to choose a favorite, though, Gorgonzola. Because you've got have guts to eat something that smells like that, and it actually tastes kinda awesome.

Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Carrottop. Sara Smith digs Barney, and I don't want to ruin my chances with her. And, come on, she looks like this!

Can you blame a guy?

What time is it where you are?

Right now? September 9th, 6:27, 2016.

If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Old or new Order? Because Luna's totally got it going on, man.

Meh. If it's the old order, McGonnagal, because if she still has that sillouhete at, what, 60, she must have been freaking hot. And she's got guts. I like a girl with guts.

If you are pushing to be in Gryffindor: Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

OT3, man. Why should he have to choose? If Krishna could get it on with 100 milk-maids at once, I'm sure The Boy Who Lived could handle Gred and Forge with some creative applications of Splinching. And Loki managed to get pregnant. With a HORSE. You guys can do this sort of stuff with your hocus-pocus and mumbojumbo, I'm sure. Even the horse thing if you had enough polyjuice (Also, off topic but catgirl Hermione = Rowr.)

Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

Gentlemen. I bring you - PORN! Specifically, all the pictures of Anna Lin, Laura Porter, and Anna Lin WITH Laura Porter that they didn't find in my room and rip into tiny tiny pieces, then burn!

For the ladies, I have some epic pictures of Josh. While drunk. And naked. (If you're here, Mr. Preston, let that teach you a lesson: No one in the Resistance can drink as much as I can.)

I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. K.C.

I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. K.C.

I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. K.C.

One day, marmalade will rule the world. ... K.C.

(OOC: Is that better?)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"So? I'm just almost sixteen. And I still think that's gross. Perv." Primavera folds her arms.

"Then I will make a note not to hit on you," Keenan said with a smile. "But leave Sara out of this, kay? Call it gross if you want, but she's flirting with me for the lulz as much as I'm doing likewise."

When Primavera smiles, the tips of tiny little catlike fangs are visible. Ostentatiously she checks out the new kid's package. "Hitting on me isn't an option, human boy. But if even a Lilim thinks you're pervy? That's not a good sign. And if you wanted Sara 'left out of this', you oughtn't to have flashed us that cute ickle kiddie-cheesecake shot as part of your application. I still think she looks like a nine-year-old. Maybe with cotton balls stuffed down her undershirt."

"Lilim? As in Lilli...!" He blinks, repeatedly, then stiffens up and becomes more slow and deliberate with his speech.

"...ah," he says. "Hmmn... fair enough. I don't think that Miss Smith would mind, considering her... affection for me... but I'll try to be a little more circumspect."

Meanwhile, running through his head repeatedly is a fervent prayer: If it please Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, oh my dear God, don't let her be a Nightmare.

"Lilim as in the daughters of Lilith," she corrects him. "As opposed to daughter of Eve. Dead girl, robotnik, changeling, doll. We're born this way; we just don't show it 'til metamorphosis begins ... When I turned, my mum said, Lilith's your mother now. Anyway, human boys aren't too good at circumspect, I'm sure. Nor at affection ... If this Sara girl ever comes here, you can be sure we'll all tell her we've seen her stuff. Think she'll pose for any more?"

On Primavera, a leer looks twice as unwholesome.

He grins. "Oh, I don't think she'd mind me showing off that picture. There are WORSE ones I have of her, but I'm keeping those private. Out of perverse sexual lust respect for her wishes."

Primavera rolls her eyes. "Whatever they are, they're probably boring. Sick because a little girl's in them, but only some kinds of sick are interesting, and that's not one of them. I don't want the porn of your friends either. Boring," she pronounces, again, to make sure the message sinks in. "Besides, how do I know it's not a memeoidal photomechanical? Like that thing Iggy heard about in Manchester ... samizdat comic that eats people's brains, makes them think they're a gothed-out teen Queen Victoria. Cruel Britannia it was called. Some diseases aren't even fun. Anyway offer some bribe that someone who isn't you might actually want."

He nods. Then grins.

"The technical specifications for an ANIMa," he says, taking crumpled blue-prints out of his backpack. "Swiped a copy from Derek with a little help from Sara."

Primavera leans precipitously over, poise perfect on spike-heeled boots, to peer at the blueprints. She can do this without affording a panoramic view: she hasn't gone trashy-kitty, and her school tie's fastened over the fully buttoned blouse. "What do I look like, a Martian engineer? I can't tell what that is," she pronounces after a moment.

"Ah... tell ya what. I get someone who is, and build one?" he says. "It's a weapon. A psychic weapon. It turns intense relationships into blam - might be useful if whatever I rode it into battle against decides to do Britain."

"Ha!" Miss P finds something about this description amusing, though she isn't saying what. "The reification of the proverbial phallic missile, what? Sex and death the superluminous green sun around which humanity revolves ..." It's as though she's reciting someone else's creed. "Maybe we have more to talk about than I thought, you and me, human boy."

(OOC: FFFFFFF... Html fail, only "Against" was supposed to be italicized.)

He cocks his head. "Come to that, it's less 'Weaponized Love;' more a general kind of 'Weaponized Id,' huh. Otherwise my pauldron rocket launchers on Unit 02 wouldn't worked. Josh is cute if you like boys, but I don't, and he thinks that Sara is his personal moeblob, which I take issue with. Somehow the hate works as well as my PSL for Meredith."

He blinks. "Weird. ...Hey, it's FUN to talk about this sorta thing, and it'll make me a better pilot, so two reasons to keep talking."

(OOC: Hee! I like where this is going.)

(( Hee. Have to run now but will be back later. If you have chat or email or something I'll ping you -- I can't find you in the contact post ))

"You're looking at weaponized id," Primavera points out. She takes a step back, having gleaned whatever little she could understand from the blueprint she's been shown. Pale hands smooth the savagely hemmed skirt around her hips. "In a way. I mean, I sort of went past what Lilim normally do ... but I had to, it was my job." Her self-defensive screed does not sound particularly impassioned, more the perfunctory excuse offered to a hall monitor, something for form's sake. "We're id. The dark dreams of Europe after the millennial dawn, or -- whatever --" she's lost her taste for the Titanian catechism. "We attack to survive, but we're not supposed to kill. Oopsie."

(ack, HTML PHAIL. Assume that it reads ~~perverse sexual lust~~.)

Keenan Caine, the MANLIEST signature character from the tabletop RPG Bliss Stage, has arrived!

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