hh_mirror | S. Baldrick

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S. Baldrick

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Mouse cheese, it's not really but well, you need to tie a piece of cheese on to the end of your nose open your mouth then wait for the mice to run right in. Only Mr. B says the only mouse I could catch would be one without a nose cause my breaths straight from Satan's bottom.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

I could never kill Barney, otherwise we would never get any fresh milk. Though my old man said he would scrag our old Milkman, when I was a tot, if he stopped at our flat when Dad wasn't home anymore. I miss my 'Dad'.

3. What time is it where you are?

12:00, only its funny cause it's been 12:00 for ages and the clocks been flashing on and off for a while.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

My Mum said I wasn't never meant to harass anyone. But Mr. B says I harass people by existing, well I think that's what he said when he shoved my head down the privy.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bar tend, in the dark.

Turnip, cause I like them and people can come in talk about their interesting stories about turnips.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

St. Bernard the patron saint of bearded ladies is said to have had a pet weasel called George and she was drowned in a butt of cider by a guy named Harry. The Saint not the weasel, maybe it's sign.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I'm constantly disposing of it.

What does inundated mean? I like dates, if your desk was covered in dates it would get really sticky. Maybe some one doesn't like dates, and knowing you do put them on your desk. You must have nice friends.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

I have tried to better myself so I applied for the job of village idiot of Kensington. I got down to the last two, but I failed the final interview. I turned up. The other bloke was such an idiot he forgot to. I'm a good cook I know at least ten ways to cook rat, Mr. B said that if he didn't know it was rat he would have sworn it was something else.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Mr. B always said that a way to a man's heart is through his wallet so I'm going to have to offer money. But I'm not sure what he really meant cause that's a funny place for any one to have their heart wouldn't it be very messy with all the blood. There is always my family heirloom, this pair of trousers has been in the family for three hundred years. My grandfather died in them and we haven't washed them since. Actually I think that my Dad did too.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

A house, three walls, a door and windows. What do they say about it?

Mmm. Mister Baldrick, I'm afraid it's not quite like that. However, your ignorance in that area isn't too repelling. Do you at least know what a torture device is?

Some people think the useless ones belong in our House. Those people are very...misguided, you see, Mister Baldrick.

Mr B use to say that if you couldn't torture someone with your own persence then you should work harder.
I have been the recipient of torture before, and partic . .partice . . . helped Mr B when he needed a hand.

Well, I think you should be very helpful to me, then, Mister Baldrick.

Who, exactly, is your 'Mister B'?

Mr.B Well I like to think of him as my friend my families been with his family since 1489 but then he said so's syphillus.
Lord Blackadder, who upholds his family traditions of backstabbing to this day.
He's a nasty, slimy, man, but I think underneath it all, deep down inside he's a creepy git. But that's the opinion of a friend.

Oh? Hm. Perhaps I shall have to meet him one of these days, then. He sounds rather interesting.

He may wander down here, don't know.

((OOC I wanted Blackadder but wish to walk before I run with this community so I have Baldrick.))

I'll keep an eye out for him.

((Baldrick is love. XD You play him well, too.
*crosses fingers for the inevitable appearance of an Edmund*))

I think I'd like to see that.

((OOC I have the 'nearly' complete scripts sitting on my desk for inspiration and mis quoted quotes. I like your Mr. Teatime, I have noticed a Rincewind and Susan here as well, Terry Pratchett is great.))

Are you fond of Mister Blackadder, Mister Baldrick?

((Oooh, and love for the scripts.
That he is. XD Thank you very much.))

Well there was this one time, and he did go to to a british public school. But he said he'd rather have his willy bitten off by a sheep with halitosis.
If that's what you mean.

((I can see Nobby fitting in here somewhere))

...allow me to simplify. Would you like him dead?

((Someday, this RP will have every character from every fandom. It's only a matter of time.))

No, you can't kill Mr. B he's Mr. B.
He survives my cooking he may not be that easy to kill.

((So many fandom's so little time))

I nearly killed DEATH, sir. I don't think Mister Blackadder would be too difficult.
Do you want him dead?

Who'll pay me if Mr. B is dead. I'll never get my little turnip in the country.
You can't kill Mr. B.
*Nearly* killed DEATH. Why did my capslock stick?

Is your life's desire a turnip? I'm sure I could get you one.
I've inhumed so many people. And I did take care of the Hogfather, Mister Baldrick. That's not a bad track record. I think I could handle Mister Blackadder.
We don't really know why that happens, Mister Baldrick. Just ignore it.

There are alot worse things than death. My dirty washing being one of them.
Hogfather, who's that?

((OOC Must flee RL intrudes))

...you know, I would have used the "worst nightmare" line on him, but I suppose his is you. Very well, I'll find proof of his mortality for you, then.
It's my universes form of a..."Santa Claus". What an unusual name!

((All right.))

"Santa Claus" oh you mean Father Christmas. I remember when I was tot we couldn't afford no tinsel for our christmas tree so we'd just wheel grandad in and make the old fart sneeze.

What did the Hogfather give you when you were a kid?

Did he die of an allergic reaction?

Not much.

No, but it sure did look pretty in the candlelight.
You didn't get much well that may explain the death attempt.

How disgusting.

...no, that was because someone hired me to kill him.

Sounds like an interesting carerr . . .job.

Oh, rest assured, it is. And there's such a joy one gets out of doing it, too.

Have you been working lately?

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