Application: Lestat de Lioncourt, from Interview With the Vampire

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

A very pale man entered the room, bright blue eyes taking in everything while a huge grin swept over his features. He seemed utterly entranced with the entire place, though so far he had only seen the stone walls and a desk with a chair just waiting to have the pleasure of his ass sitting on it. His clothes were a bit... dated, though quite high society, and he straightened the lace sticking out from under a jacket sleeve as his other hand ran down one of the walls.

"Just lovely!" he gasped. "Such workmanship I haven't seen in a long time."
He knew he was in a castle. He could tell. Hell, the place positively reeked of castle-ness. He moved to the chair and stroked its back, almost like a lover, before swiveling around to sit in it.

"All I have to do to stay is fill out an application?" He raised an eyebrow. "This is too easy."

Usually he had to turn on a little charm, or at least dispose of the current residents, before being able to do as he pleased in castles.



1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Hmm... I don't eat cheese, you know. You could call me lactose intolerant. Or just.. food intolerant. I prefer much tastier things. If you ask very nicely, I might let you in on what they might be.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Neither would taste very good, in my opinion, and since I don't have to put up with them myself, I would rather let someone else have the pleasure.

3. What time is it where you are?

Night time, of course.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Sexual harassment, you say? I can tell you that I have never been turned away when I seek sexual company, and so it really doesn't count as harassment, now does it? Deadly, maybe, but not harassing.

5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Oh come now, isn't every dreary little bar named the same thing nowadays? Honestly, you might as well call it what it is, Dreary Little Bar.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Marriage? Why on earth would the boy want to settle down with either? You're only limiting your options then.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

I guess someone forgot to leave a sign on the door stating that the next piece of paperwork received will lead to the inexplicable demise of the person leaving it.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Useless? Really now, if there is anything I'm not, it's useless. I have a multitude of talents, not to mention the added perks that come with being a vampire such as myself.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

"I offer the greatest gift of all. Eternal life, to anyone brave enough to take it! Of course, if that isn't what you're into, maybe we can see about making... other... arrangements."

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____Lestat_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___Lestat________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __Lestat_________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____Lestat_________"

Comments

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

Camilla accepted the flattery as only her due. What she had to say next drained her smile away. "To be completely honest, I left my own academy prematurely, because my teacher abandoned us." Yes, a note of bitterness tinged the words even now, for Julian's perfidy. "It was an exceptional education by any standard, while we had him. We read the classics. This school, the one we're in now, teaches other things I wanted to learn, that's all." It was as detailed an explanation as she'd be willing to give. "Where were you educated, Monsieur de Lioncourt? Or were you self-taught?"

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

"I was the son of a marquis, so I had a fitting education on that front. Living as long as I have, and seeing such things that have met my eyes during this time, however, leads my answer more to self-taught. At least, for anything useful, that is."

He neglected to mention that he ran away from home, his desire having been to become an actor.

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

Camilla tilted her head, curious. "What would you call useful? Surely you don't privilege the useful over the beautiful."

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

"My my, no. My learning as the son of the marquis held far less beauty than the much shorter time I spent in the company of a vampire by the name of Marius. Given my current state, I am lucky enough to be enabled to travel to many wide and varied places and see things some people will never get to see in their lifetimes. Mostly, because they do not exist anymore. Being a lover of the arts, as I am, what I consider to be useful may not have the same definition a person of a different standpoint might give."

He smiled ruefully at her.

"That was a bit long-winded of me, wasn't it?"

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

"Not at all," said Camilla, who was quite used to Henry's habit of delivering monologues on whatever he happened to be reading currently, and to whom this brief discourse was nothing. "Not at all long-winded, I mean. I'd have loved to see those things too. Only I'm afraid to travel -- or was, before I learned to Apparate," she confided. Call the vampire a kindred spirit, if you will; Camilla felt he would understand her. "My friend has been to Mykonos, and Rome. I'd love to see these places, someday."

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

"Well, maybe if I continue to prove myself good company you will sometime consent to a holiday in one, or both places. Forgive my ignorance, but I would love to hear about this Apparating. Is it a way to travel faster than I normally would be able to?"

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

"It's something you can learn here. We've got a new professor of Apparation (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1297333.html) ... probably unorthodox ..." There really was no good way to say that the Easter Bunny would teach you how to teleport. Camilla herself had arrived while the Robot Devil held that professorship, and had opted for a private tutor off-campus rather than attend what such a personage might consider instruction. "It's a sort of teleportation, magically powered. This is a school of sorcery." She used the same Greek word as she'd used at her brother's Sorting, in case this son of a marquis knew the language. "Goêteusis (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1247072.html?thread=63578976#t63578976)." In case he did not know Greek, but did know Latin, she added: "Veneficium. Not stage magic, not illusion."

(( goêteusis: sorcery, with later connotations of black magic when the word is borrowed into Latin as goetia; see for example the Ars Goetia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goetia).
veneficium, venefici(i): magic/sorcery; poisoning; crime of poisoning; mixing of poison; poisoned drink.

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

"Just fabulous! I grow to like this place more and more with every passing moment. If I have a hard time learning the ins and outs of this magical school, can I count on you to offer your knowledge and show me my errors?"

Lestat could envision a lot of "errors" in the future.

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

"Of course," said Camilla generously. "I'd be more than happy to help. Is it indelicate to ask, or do you need something for daytime use? You won't be permitted to leave the Sorting Room until the Sorting's over. There probably aren't any coffins handy, but ... a trunk of some kind?"

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

"You are not indelicate at all, my dear lady. In fact, you are image of graciousness, to show such courtesy. I suppose eventually I will have a coffin made and brought here, but until then any substitute would be greatly appreciated. The sun can be a bit unpleasant, as my daughter discovered."

Lestat glanced sideways out the small window. It was still dark outside, but this was a new place, and he could not venture to guess how long it would stay that way.

"Per chance, do you know how much longer we have until sunrise?"

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

"Oh, the sun hadn't set but a couple of hours ago. Your timing's really very good," Camilla replied. "Either that, or very bad, since it means you'll have a long night of silly questions ahead of you. But you shouldn't mind that too terribly, I'd think -- holding court." Another of those little smiles, an undertone of amusement in her voice that suggested she expected the amusement to be shared. "Do you consume anything besides blood? The house elves can bring almost anything you'd like." She turned to summon one, and requested a trunk be brought ("and dust it out first, please. Thoroughly." Camilla didn't think it a good idea to provoke sneezing fits in a vampire).

"But tell me about the places you've been," she said, once the elf was dismissed, turning back to Lestat with eyes bright and expectant. "Have you been to Knossos, ever?"

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

"Unfortunately I have no stomach for food or drink anymore, which is one of the few things I miss. I have not been to Knossos, though I would very much like to go. My travels have mostly been in France and some of the United States, though I was lucky enough to spend time on an island in the Aegean sea."

He carefully neglected to mention that he was kicked off the island by Marius, who was not happy at all with a minor action Lestat had taken while staying there.

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

A little disappointed -- she was very curious about Crete -- Camilla said, "It's supposed to be marvelous. The Minoan palaces, and the museum at Heraklion." She gave a wistful sigh. "Of course Scotland's very pretty -- Scotland is where we are, you know." A troop of house elves materialised with a very large steamer trunk, just then, and Camilla directed them to put it down in a corner.

"I suppose we could cover it up," she said, surveying their work, "so that no one opens it up while you're sleeping."

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

"I am very interested to see the beautiful, historic places of the world. I think, if I have the choice, I would like to learn how to apparate before anything else. Imagine the souvenirs I could bring back! You could travel with me, if you were so inclined."

He flashed her a dazzling smile and moved to inspect the trunk.

"Add a nice soft pillow and I'll be almost right at home! A locked door, and as you suggested, some form of covering, should dissuade most people from bothering me in my rest."

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I'd love to," Camilla said, dismissing for the moment the problem of arranging such travel without causing a huge scandal among her former Hampden classmates. "Of course, you'd have to understand I'm not meant to be food." This she said with a brilliant smile. The implication was that obviously he knew she wasn't meant to be food. "I couldn't take photographs in the sunlight if I couldn't endure sunlight."

She considered the problem of Sortings and sunlight. "Well, a locked door we can't manage, I'm afraid. You have to stay in the Sorting Room." Camilla thought a moment, then called one of the house elves over.

"We need a decorative screen," she said. "The one with the dragons on it, from the trophy room, should be fine. And any old tapestry or blanket if it's not too dusty, something big enough to cover that trunk you just brought. And one of my down pillows." The school-issue pillows were really atrocious.

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

"Will you never cease to amaze me, my dear lady? I do not know how much more of your wit and charm I can endure before I melt into an indistinguishable puddle of astonishment right here on the floor, and nobody would want to mop that up."

The Sorting Room wouldn't be a bad place to spend a night or two, after all it wasn't like he would be sleeping in a spacious bed or anything. There was one amenity he was curious about, however.

"My dear lady, you don't happen to know where a gentleman such as myself could procure a violin, do you? It is intensely relaxing to play before bed, you know."

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

Camilla wrinkled her nose a little, and laughed. "A puddle of astonishment? Goodness." She shook her head. "No, I'm not at all sure where you could get a violin."

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

"No matter, I will come across one eventually. It used to be a very pleasurable pasttime for me. I may not be too good at it, I'm afraid. I did send a girl off screaming because of my playing once."

Granted, it may have had something to do with the speed at which he was playing, and not so much the quality.

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

Uncertain how to take that particular anecdote, Camilla merely nodded. "I don't imagine people here would take too kindly to that," she said, carefully neutral. Goodness, he was a little strange, after all, wasn't he?

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

"Well, I think I learned my lesson. Really I just wanted someone to know what I was. Marius wouldn't allow me to make myself known back then, and it was, well, quite frankly it was lonely. Since then my playing has been a bit calmer."

He offered a little smile, like a child saying "My bad, but it's ok now, right?"

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

This puzzled Camilla a bit. "Why should you have wanted to be known? Wasn't it safer to stay hidden? Of course, if you were lonely ..." She shrugged. "Who is Marius? Didn't he help to ease the loneliness?"

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

"Safer, yes. But far less entertaining. Marius was a mentor to me. He helped me come to terms with my vampirism." Lestat shook his head, a bit sadly. "But Marius was completely obsessed with a woman who never moved, a statue at best."

His smile was melancholy now, his eyes asking forgiveness for his dropped mood.

"I played for her once. She moved. She offered me her wrist, and I took it. Marius... never felt the same about me after that. Kicked me off the island to make my own way."

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Jealousy." Camilla understood immediately -- she knew all about jealousy. She was generally the cause of it. "Do you mind it very much, now, being a vampire? I don't think I should like to be one. I'd miss the sun ..."

[lestat-d-l.livejournal.com]

Lestat nodded, completely understanding her reservations.

"I do miss it. I miss food. I miss having companions with a similar lifespan. But you know, there are things I have gained from it that I wouldn't trade for anything. After all, if I had died, even as a very old man, I would never have met you, now would I have? On my deathbed your mother wouldn't have even been a twinkle in her mother's eyes."

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

"That's true," said Camilla, quite accustomed to flattery. She supposed there were people who would say the privilege of meeting her was worth giving up sunlight. As if to substantiate the supposition, she favored him with a radiant smile, the sort of smile that prompted people to imagine she had a halo. "When did you die?"