hh_mirror | Open RP Hallway to the Ravenclaw Common Room

Mr. Universe shrugged, "well, as long as you were enjoying the learning, that's really the important thing... if you don't enjoy what you're doing, there's little point to doing it," obviously oblivious to any possible indication to the contrary. He agreed, "yeah, it's really strange, it seems like so much time has passed between my past and now, but it's really only been a few days by my count. Time is funny that way."

Camilla blinked, nonplussed. "Your past?"

Mr. Universe said, "well, as far as I can tell, I died before I came to this time here, so it would technically be my past. I dunno, there wasn't really an accurate word that fit there, but it was the first one that came to me."

He'd died? If he'd said that in his Sorting, Camilla had missed it somehow. "So this is another life for you in every sense," she said. "Well, you're not alone in that. There are other resurrected persons at Hogwarts presently." Some of them more welcome than others. "When you say it seems like so much time has passed between your past and now, what do you mean, exactly, in terms of subjective time?"

While it may have been mentioned before, this was the first time he'd actually out and out said it to anyone. Mr. Universe nodded; "as far as I can tell. Actually, my friend is one of them. We both ended up dying before we showed up here, which I find extremely odd." He added, "well, it feels like a lot of time has passed both between then and now, but also since I came here, but that could be just because I'm in such a strange setting, and around people who are so different from what I'm used to." By which he actually meant being around people in general.

Sipping her martini, Camilla listened with unfeigned interest. "Was it a natural death?"

Mr. Universe visibly shook a little as he answered, obviously more than a little nervous about discussing this. "Not exactly; I was murdered actually, by a man with a sword. Not exactly a common weapon in my universe," he tried to joke, not managing very well.

Murder fazed Camilla not at all. In utter tranquility she took another drink of her martini. "What was it like?" she wanted to know.

Mr. Universe stared at her, obviously confused. "Um... what do you mean by that... being killed, being dead, I'll need you to be a bit more specific if I'm going to answer that." He really hoped he didn't have to answer; but would if pressed.

"Why, both," answered Camilla promptly, a bit surprised he should have asked for such a clarification.

"Well," Mr. Universe looked down at the floor. He said quietly, after a slightly awkward pause, "being killed was... painful mostly; but it wasn't a quick thing, it was a long agonizing thing... I had enough time to leave a message for some people, but it was hard... really hard..." he trailed off near the end, not really knowing what to say. He shook his head once, trying to clear it. "But being dead... I don't remember that at all. It was like I was dying in Lenore's lap one minute, and in the Sorting Room a few seconds later... I wish I remembered more," he looked up at Camilla, "that would probably have made the whole experience worthwhile."

Camilla offered a small reassuring smile. "Most people don't remember much of it," she said. "Of being dead, I mean. I'm rather curious as to what they do remember, when they do." She wondered whether he would drink now, and if so, whether he'd find a glass first.

Mr. Universe reached over the bar, and found a shot glass, opened the vodka, and poured himself a shot. He knocked it back quickly and responded, "I think it's probably just one of those things you're not meant to remember... you just kind of block it out in hopes of forgetting it happened..." He added, "but this is talking from my own death, which was trauma enough as it was. So I could be dead wrong," he finished, without realizing the possible pun there.

Camilla caught the pun, intended or not, and laughed quietly. "I'm sure I couldn't say, never having been dead."

Mr. Universe shrugged, "well, I don't plan on dying again anytime soon, so I'm hoping I'm not the one who ends up going back to find out." He poured another shot and downed it. He looked to the celing and said, "though it would be an interesting thing to send someone to find out..." He then shook his head and added, "no, I couldn't do that to anyone... not even for the pursuit of knowledge," he trailed off at the end and looked down and away.

Camilla leaned forward, very slightly.

"Why couldn't you?" Something unreadable in those gray eyes of hers.

Mr. Universe continued to look away and said in the same quiet unsure voice, "after knowing what being murdered was like, I couldn't even imagine putting someone through that experience." He looked up leaned in slightly as well, and said with just a slight break in his voice, "if you'd gone through what I did, you'd understand."

"I believe in Fate," Camilla said simply. "Do you?"

Mr. Universe sighed heavily, and answered slowly, "I'm not the kind to believe in fate. I would hate to think that I had no say in my final destiny..." He smiled, lips still tight, but clearly amused. "That might make me sound controlling, but it's true." Just as quickly as the smile came to his face, it faded, and he was instantly serious once more. "But just as I want to keep control of my life, I couldn't bear taking away the control of another... not for any reason I can think of." He poured another shot as he said this, but didn't drink it yet.

She tossed back her golden hair, then tossed back the last of her martini. "Control's a fearsome thing," she said. "The trick is not to maintain it but to be free of it. Haven't you ever wished to live without thinking?"

Mr. Universe looked at Camilla and said, "The thought of living without any control, without thinking is so alien to me; I can't see myself coping while having no say in the situation. And to live without thinking... it would be like denying myself completely. I think about everything I do, I can't be impulsive, that's not who I am, and I can't see myself becoming so. I won't relinquish control, because I don't trust anyone enough to be in control of me." He smiled wryly, "I suppose it comes from lack of human interaction."

Setting her glass aside on the bar, Camilla eyed her interlocutor curiously. "It's precisely the rigidity of self-control that makes us want to relinquish it. Trust -- well. That is a problem. To undergo a profound loss of control -- an encounter with the divine; a birth; a death -- to undertake such a thing in the presence of others, it's easy to believe them closer to you than they really are. Trust's so fragile. I'm afraid none of my friends trust one another," she said with a sigh, leaning her elbow on the bar, and her chin on her upturned hand, the entirety of it an angle surprisingly graceful. "But I would still say that to live without thinking is quite the opposite of self-denial. It's in the dissolution of those boundaries that one is most precisely and gloriously oneself."

She'd become more like Julian than she knew.

"Well, you may have a point there, about one wanting to be free of control... But without trusting the person you give your free will to, you can't really feel right about the situation you're in; so there is nothing good about it. So while in some cases, letting someone else make your decisions for you and having them be in control of your life may be a good thing for some, you'd have to trust another's decisions... it could lead to something less than desirable." After he finished this statement, Mr. Universe looked up and asked, "how do you and your friends not trust each other... isn't trust one of the most important bonds friends share?"

"Oh, one wouldn't give control to someone else," said Camilla, slightly taken aback. "Goodness, that would be awful. A reduplication of the misfortune in which one began, only to an even worse degree. Why would anyone want that? No one wants to be a slave; though certainly it's always best for people to know their place. No, I don't mean that at all. The idea is to become more free, not to become more bound; to become free even of the constraints of oneself, not to add another layer of constraint. May I?" She reached for the bottle and poured herself another drink.

As she poured, she was silent for a moment; then she said, "The most important bond friends share is love. It's eminently possible to love without trusting. What's more difficult is to interact under such conditions. It wears on the nerves. Do you consider your robots -- your love-bots -- to be your friends? Do you trust them?"

Mr. Universe looked at Camilla, highly confused. "Well, how exactly would one become more free then, by your ideas? I mean, either you are in control of yourself, or you let another be in control of you. There isn't any way to total freedom like you are suggesting, at least, not any way that I can see." He nodded, "oh, go right ahead." He looked at her intently while she finished her statement and answered, "I suppose that makes sense. Trust not being more important to a friendship than love; but still being quite beneficial to it." He added, after a moment of thought, "Well, the thing about robots is, you can always trust them; as long as you're the one who built and programed them. They act and react as they are built to. The specific interactions differ, but overall, they aren't human, their actions are always defined by their programming." He smiled and finished with, "not like humans who sometimes will act completely against their normal patterns of action and do something, for lack of a better word, crazy"

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