hh_mirror | Application: Dr. Lisa Cuddy, House M.D.

Okay, so it wasn't Princeton. At all. Definitely not Princeton, for there sure wasn't a castle anyplace in the vicinity. In fact, Cuddy was beginning to think it might well be House's idea of some joke, knocking her over the head and bringing her to this place, wherever it was. And if that was the case, there weren't just clinic hours in his future, but endless clinic hours.

The paper with a questionnarre of sorts glared mockingly at her and Cuddy narrowed her eyes at it before lifting the pen.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite? I'm vegan. Which translates into no animal of any kind, including dairy. Therefore, cheese isn't a part of my diet. ~~House, you're going to have to come up with better questions than this.~~

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop? Why bother? In a few years there'll be another disturbing fad waiting to traumatize the younger and older generations alike. ~~Good enough there, House? What are you going to do, post these around the clinic, show off my wit and penmanship?~~

3. What time is it where you are? About five, last time I checked. ~~Which also translates into three-hours-past-when-you-were-due-in-the-clinic.~~

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black. I deal with enough sexual harassment on a daily basis from one employee begging for unpaid overtime and a good slap upside the head. I wouldn't want to inflict that sort of trauma on anyone else, so I'm going to say not applicable on this one. ~~Yes, I can feel you staring at my ass. I really, really can.~~

5. If you are pushing to be in: Pushing to be in where? I haven't any idea. And House, since it's clear you're laughing yourself into a state of delirium right now, why don't you tell me what all this actually means? I'm Dean of Medicine, not playing one of your 'Choose Your Own Adventure' games. Out with it already.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do. Bribes..oh, easiest question yet. Upon my acceptance, I vow to wear no top other than the lowest cut blouse in existance. ~~Yes House, lower cut than the normal. Am I in?~~

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _LC_
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _LC_.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _LC_.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Upon arrival, House could swear that he must have some sort of alarm that told him exactly when and where Cuddy was at all times. Actually, perhaps it was more of an anti-Cuddy alarm, because he'd had the overwhelming urge not to go into the sorting room - which he had, of course, ignored. And here was Cuddy. At least she couldn't foist clinic hours on him here. Though, knowing her, she might actually make connection with the head of the Hospital Wing and find some way of chaining him to the room and making him treat useless patient. Not a pleasant thought.

But there had been one thing he'd missed. "Oh, look! It's the Golden Globes!" House beamed, limping over and bending down slightly to talk directly to Cuddy's breasts. "I missed you. Did you miss me? I bet you did - I bet Dr. Cuddy has been mistreating you by wearing those cruel turtlenecks and shutting you off from the world."

Cuddy's eyes rolled heavenward briefly before taking a step back, putting personal space between them. "I hate turtlenecks," she retorted, "and if this is your idea of a joke, House, you don't want to know what I'll do to retaliate."

Her arms folded beneath the chest he loved to stare at, and a toss of her head left her eyes to meet his. It wasn't funny, it really wasn't.

Pulling a largely exaggerated expression of desolate loss as Cuddy folded her arms, House whined, "Aw, don't cover the girls up. I was looking forward to a joyful reunion!"

That Cuddy thought that this whole thing was his idea of joke, though, House smirked slightly in amusement. Honestly, transporting someone to a castle in the middle of Scotland would be a strange, even for him. It was a cool idea, though. "Oh, you got me. How did you ever guess? Wait, don't answer - I'm more interested the bribe," he leered mockingly.

Having not been able to make breast jokes for the time he was here, House had a lot of missed time to make up for.

Cuddy's eyebrows hiked into her hairline. House wasn't playing into this the way he normally did, wasn't acting the way he would have in a fashion likened to the cat getting the cream. No, maybe he didn't have anything to do with this.

"Of course you are," she drawled. "But before I bribe you with anything, where am I?"

Crap, she'd caught on to his bullshit. Then again, Cuddy had always been quick to catch on to him (like Wilson, and now Lily, and occasionally Cox, damn them all), so he really shouldn't be surprised. And she didn't need to bribe him with anything, but it was more than a little amusing to play it off as if she had to.

"Sorry, I'm not allowed to give that sort of information out," House said dryly. Besides, other people would explain it to her, saving him time in which he could have been doing much better things, like breathing.

Oh, he wasn't going to be a bit different. Not at all, not even remotely close. And Cuddy had two options as to how to deal with him, one appearing more welcoming than the other.

"Then at least be something resembling a gentleman and show me where a woman finds a bed around here," she said, and she knew full well how he'd tease her for that remark. Then again the teasing was just fine, a welcome relic from home.

House just rolled his eyes. That was just asking for it.Oh, so many ways to respond to that, and he only got to choose one. It was a shame, really, he had some other pretty good come backs lined up.

"That's easy," House remarked, holding out his hand. "Just slip me a $20 and I'll take you down to the docks. I'm sure all the sailors will be more than happy to show you a bed," he winked mockingly. He should probably get around to the voting business at some point, but this was a lot more fun, in the meantime. Ah, Cuddy-baiting. He'd missed it.

Cuddy slapped his hand with her own palm, but her grin was good natured at best. She was, in truth, glad to see House, even if he was being his typical self. Even that was comforting.

"Missed you too," she said, and almost laughed.

"What's that? You want me to escort you to the nearest bed?" House asked incredulously, raising his voice on the second sentence, enough so that the whole room would likely be able to hear it.

Despite himself, he'd missed Cuddy too. His days just weren't the same without breast jokes, snark that could match his own, and whining about clinic hours. But he sure wasn't going to admit that; Cuddy might take advantage of it. "And I missed you like hobos miss herpes," House said snidely. "It really is the gift that just keeps giving."

Cuddy did her best to not laugh, biting down on the smile that wanted to spread into something more. House would always be House, with something that matched her in ways other people couldn't and didn't understand. It was complicated, but it was all right.

"All right," she said with mock irritation, "you've made your point. Think you can tell me what's going on here? What I've got to do?"

"Pft, no need," House waved a hand in the air dismissively. "I'm sure you, being a good little administrator, have figured out the large of it already." That, and House thought it would be a lot more funny to just leave Cuddy to figure things out on her own. The first time he'd seen magic, House thought he was hallucinating. It was interesting to wonder how Cuddy would react. "I'm going to vote you into Ravenclaw, because I really hope that there is a lot paperwork there. Wouldn't want you to go without the comforts of home."

While he thought about it, actually, there were a number of people around here that could make his life hell should Cuddy ever meet them. House grimaced slightly, imagining an encounter between Cuddy and Lily, or Agnes Nutter, or even Cox. It didn't bear thinking about. "Also, if you see a woman with hair like a haystack and breasts down to here," House held his hand at waist-height, which was likely an exaggeration, "Do not attempt to speak to her. Take my word for it."

House was right, she had been thinking it through and it wasn't any sort of joke of his doing, so there was little choice to do but accept it. The tension pushed through her shoulders and back before she arched and rolled it away, and then she nodded slowly. "You're considerate," she said, and flashed him a rare smile. "Someone might almost say you were looking out for me."

Maybe he was. "Okay, I'll take your word for it," she agreed. "What happened with her?"

"Less looking out for you, more wishing eternal hell of paperwork on you," House said cheerfully, or as cheerfully as he could manage, which of course meant that it was largely faked.

At Cuddy's question, though, House looked a little shifty-eyed before he composed himself. As much as he would love to see a fight between Cuddy and Ages Nutter, head of the schools' Hospital Wing, the thought of them within a mile radius of each other just spelled trouble. For him. "She's evil," he insisted. "Kicked me out the Hospital Wing the first day I got here." Which had been his own fault, for pestering people about masturbating too much and snooping around, but he held it against her. "She'll steal your soul with leeches."

Application: Dr. Lisa Cuddy, House M.D.

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Vote: Ravenclaw

Re: Vote: Ravenclaw

Re: Vote: Ravenclaw