hh_mirror | Valentine's Day - not for the single. ((open rp))

Entry tags:

Valentine's Day - not for the single. ((open rp))

Valentine’s Day. A day for lovers and a day to remind the single people that they are still, well, single.
And if you’re a lonely, sickly wizard, it’s just going to make you crankier. The decorations and general squishy, lovey mood had only served to darken Raistlin’s mood. Setting fire to the pink paper hearts and cupids would have been satisfying, but it would have only created more work for the house elves, and he didn’t want to create more work for the creatures that he actually liked.

He tried to avoid the festivities by reading in the library and hoping that when he left, all the nonsense would be over with. Because he certainly wasn't hiding or trying to avoid the entire holiday.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"No," Raistlin said, barely looking up from his books. "I have seen no one save the house elves. Perhaps he is wasting his time with the useless frivolity outside."

"What frivolity?" Igor struggled with his hold on the books before he dumped them down on the table. "Do you mind?" he asked, gesturing to them.

Waving a long-fingered hand, the books he had been reading slid to the side, allowing room for Igor. "No. The frivolity of Valentine's Day," he said, sneering at the name of the holiday. "Useless."

"Valentine's? It's a wizarding holiday, right? Is that what all the pink stuff is doing in the hallway? I haven't been keeping up"

He opened a book.

"If it is, it should be banned," he muttered into his tea. "Love has no place in magic."

"Love? Someone told me those pink things were hearts. They look nothing like it."

he flipped a few pages.

"No place at all, really? I know I haven't found much place for it." This was followed by a sigh that ended up being a little deeper and more heartbreaking than he originally intended.

"That is the nature of it, blinding you to reality. Those pink creations look nothing like the real thing, they ignore the truth. Ignoring the truth is folly and will get you killed. Magic is pure and uncomplicated. Spell components, words and the result. Simple."

~~Enter the narrator!~~

A disembodied voice spoke from somewhere above them. "One day in Hogwarts, a young mage named Raistlin was in complete denial."

"What?" Igor looked around, seeing no one.

"He met a friend named Igor who was just as deep in denial, although a bit more ignorant about holidays. Maybe they could be in denial together!"

"I am not in denial," Raistlin snarled, raising his staff to illuminate the room. "Who are you? Show yourself!"

"Yes, being in denial together would be less lonely, and Raistlin did not like being lonely at all. Perhaps they should go find pets."

"They would be charming old bachelor roomates." The voice mused.

"I'm not in denial either!"

"Igor channelled his frustration into his lust for weaponry."

"No, I don't."
To Raistlin: "What is this?"

"Very charming and very confirmed bachelors. Perhaps they could raise magical animal weapons together."

Raistlin frowned, his hourglass eyes scanning the library. "I don't know. I have no experience with this."

"It seems the two bachelor roomates are very confused."

"That's just silly." Igor snorted.

"Perhaps in different circumstances they might find solace in each other's arms one cold, lonely night, while the owls went about carrying messages outside."

...
...
"No.
Sorry, but no."

Raistlin wheezed laughter until he was nearly doubled over. When he recovered, still leaning on his staff, he managed "I am sure he has much better taste than that."

"That's not a no."

"Fine, then no," he snapped at the unknown voice.

"Igor vigarously defended his heterosexuality."

He laughed and groaned as well. "Ugh, I'm sure someone finds this entertaining."
He paused, considering. "There's this tall, gaunt flying guy with no nose. I've seen him taunt people around here before. Do you think it could be him?"

"He began to suspect Ryuk was playing a joke."

"Wow, it's being helpful for once. Thanks voice."

Raistlin shook his head. "My spell only detected a few house elves. And I doubt the voice is truly that helpful."

"Raistlin hoped that Igor would stay and help him figure it out. He really didn't like being by himself."

"Be silent!" he nearly screamed, horrified.

Igor cringed at the near-scream, until he realized it wasn't addressed to him.

"Nobody? How about a recording? There must be a lot of places to put a machine here."

"It was not, in fact a recording. But Igor was willing to help Raistlin figure it out, if only because doing so would prevent him from asking himself hard questions like, 'how come I'm not a famous evil scientist yet?' and 'if I'm not afraid of rejection, how come I haven't asked any woman out yet? Liasons with drunken temporarily transformed men-" The voice continued, but the monologue was drowned out by Igor's voice: "And every time it rains, it rains, pennies from heaven! Don't you know each cloud contains pennies from heaven!" He stopped to catch his breath. Apparently the voice had no more to say for now.

The house-elves might have something to say about the singing performance in the library, judging by their glares.

((lulz!))

"This voice is becoming quite troublesome," Raistlin muttered. "And it knows too much about us. Far too much." He tapped his staff on the ground in irritation.

"Raistlin was more than willing to investigate as it would prevent him from facing some questions he didn't want to answer, including his own loneliness. He did hope that he found a new friend."

"If it's not mechanical, it's got to be magical."

"Score one for the obvious."

The house elves were still watching the table suspiciously, but Igor leaned forward to whisper. "What sort of magic, then...curses? I'm not going to have to deal with this the rest of my life am I?" he looked horror-struck by the idea.

Raistlin rummaged through the stacks of books. "If it is a curse, we will break it. Any magic that can be done can be undone, we simply have to find the trigger."

"Easier said that done."

"We are both very good at what we do. I consider it a challenge." He cracked a small and terribly rare smile at Igor. "What do you say?"

"Ok then- but where do we start?" Igor pointed to the books in front of him. "These are mostly for beginners."

"Bah," Raistlin muttered, waving a hand and Igor's stack of books to another table. He pulled a few heavy leather tomes to the center of the table and slid one in front of Igor. "I found more advanced books on magical theory, there has to be something we can use here."

"Hmph."

Igor smiled at the "hmph" and leaned over the books. "It sounds like we're on the right track."

"They were, in fact very far from the right path."

"Yes, that's what I'd say too," said Igor absently. "A spell of banishment- would that sort of thing work?"

"That should work, or a silencing spell." He tapped a long finger against the book, "No, the silencing spell would only work with an intended target."

"They continued on the wrong path, but perhaps the confirmed bachelors were just looking for an excuse to spend time together."

Raistlin growled under his breath, "We need a spell with an area of effect rather than a specific target."

"Do we even know if there is a specific target?" Igor asked. "And besides, maybe we're the only ones who can hear it."

"Igor's idea was wrong. Even the idiot house-elves thought so."

Several offended-looking house-elves glared at the table.

Raistlin let out a breath, coughing. "It seems the house elves can hear the blasted thing. If we can't find a counter to the curse, there is always the chance that a silencing spell would work."

"They were still wrong, but would they listen? Oh no. No one listens to me. After all, I *am* the narrator, I know what's going on. But why would they listen to the likes of me?"

The voice continued to prattle and Raistlin somehow resisted the urge to bang his head against the table in frustration.

(no subject)

igorofmalaria.livejournal.com - 2010-03-02 23:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

raistlin-red.livejournal.com - 2010-03-03 01:37 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only