Michael groaned. "Corporate. BASTards! I bet this is Toby's fault. Just like Hurricane Katrina and the recession." Toby was apparently Michael Scott's own personal Canada. "He's also probably the reason I didn't get a memo about any of your transfers. I hope he dies tomorrow. Or today. The sooner the better." Poor Toby Flenderson. He was now Michael's personal cockblocker.
Michael heaved a sigh, rubbed his hands over his eyes (there may or may not have been tears to wipe away), and then looked back at Andy. "Okay, well...fire baptism. Porno for pirates. You may now think of me as your own personal Jesus. Or Buddha. Or Gandhi. Or Judy Garland. The Dunder-Mifflin Hogsmeade branch is utmostly nondiscriminative." His grin had returned in full force. "The first thing we need to do is get you into the Dunder-Mifflin House. And thaaaa~aaaaat is Slytherin." Well, Pam was in Hufflepuff, and Kelly had been there, too, but Pam worked reception and Kelly didn't count because she was...Kelly. So Michael's logic still worked. At least, it did in his head, and that was what mattered.
"SECond order of business: Sales ideas. Parchment sales are down. The recession knows no limits. ...Damn you, Toby." His face darkened again for a moment. "Soooo~oooo...we need iDEas for how to get more parchment out to the masses." He started clapping his hands rapidly. "Quick, quick, quick, whaddayou got? Don't waste time thinking -- just SAY it! Spit out an idea! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!"
Vote: Slytherin
Michael heaved a sigh, rubbed his hands over his eyes (there may or may not have been tears to wipe away), and then looked back at Andy. "Okay, well...fire baptism. Porno for pirates. You may now think of me as your own personal Jesus. Or Buddha. Or Gandhi. Or Judy Garland. The Dunder-Mifflin Hogsmeade branch is utmostly nondiscriminative." His grin had returned in full force. "The first thing we need to do is get you into the Dunder-Mifflin House. And thaaaa~aaaaat is Slytherin." Well, Pam was in Hufflepuff, and Kelly had been there, too, but Pam worked reception and Kelly didn't count because she was...Kelly. So Michael's logic still worked. At least, it did in his head, and that was what mattered.
"SECond order of business: Sales ideas. Parchment sales are down. The recession knows no limits. ...Damn you, Toby." His face darkened again for a moment. "Soooo~oooo...we need iDEas for how to get more parchment out to the masses." He started clapping his hands rapidly. "Quick, quick, quick, whaddayou got? Don't waste time thinking -- just SAY it! Spit out an idea! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!"