hh_mirror | ::Open RP - A's Garden::

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::Open RP - A's Garden::

It was a lovely day, really.

Even if the weather had been less than ideal, A would have gone to the garden. The plants needed to be tended, after all, and right now he's kneeling by the catnip bed, pulling out the few weeds that have dared to encroach on his territories.

Now that he has a computer with an internet connection, A is Discovering music, and he's singing, very badly, as he weeds.

"Everyday seems a little longer
Every way love's a little stronger
Come what may
Do you ever long for, true love from me"

He can't carry a tune, but there's an odd hiccuping tone to his voice that's a clear attempt to mimic Buddy Holly.

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"And Matt helped, and there's Kusuriyuri. You have people who love and care for you."

His hand drifts to A's arm, and starts smoothing up and down it.

"This will be gotten through."

"You're doing good," I say softly again. "Just keep breathing until the shaking's past and you're through. You can do it." I slow down my count slightly. "And, when you're ready, you have two cats to hold while you rest." I release the hand that L is stroking. Now is most definitely not the time to try and bring up any problems that need 'solving.' After he recovers, maybe with L not around, he can be told the full history of what happened, will happen, is happening. The timelines are so confusing here.

Slowly, A opens his eyes, as some of the trembling begins to subside. He's still shaking, but nowhere near as hard.

The vision of blood, thankfully, has faded away.

"Ohhhhh," he moans, and looks at L, and bursts into fresh tears.

The tears seem so, so much cleaner, somehow, than the screaming and the shaking. L murmurs fondly, comfortingly, and runs his fingers through A's hair.

"Very brave, dearest." He reaches out with his free arm and snags a box of kleenex off his bedside table, setting it down on his knees.

With the backs of my fingers, I start rubbing his arm. "You're almost there," I whisper, still counting only because I know the rhythm is soothing and helps until the very end. And, it's helping me.

Schrodinger, unable to keep hidden with her master in distress, climbs up onto the bed.

A combs the fingers of one hand through Schrodinger's fur, the vibrations of her purr thrumming against his palm. With his other hand he grips L's arm.

"I don't want," he chokes out between sobs, "Don't want..."

L sets his hand on top of A's, encouraging him to hold on, reminding him that they're there for him.

"We know, we know, A."

I reach down and pull Einstein on to the bed from where he has his paws against my leg. "Just keep breathing, A."

I keep my voice very soft. He needs to hear this, though I wonder if it may be a little early. "Even if we can't do everything we want, we'll figure out how to do the most that we can. There's a lot of us here: You and L and Matt and Near and me, even Kusu will help us, I'm sure. But, even with all of us working together, there's only so much we can do, regardless of what we want." I pet Einstein as he noses his way over to A.

I reach over and touch A's arm. "We will do everything we can do, I promise."

Finally, A spares some attention for Mello, and turns to look at him.

"But it's not right," he wails. "You know that. You know it."

L takes a few deep breaths himself, and pulls out a tissue to dab at the tears on A's cheeks.

I nod. "I know. But, sometimes, making everything right is beyond what we can do." I swallow. This may come back to bite me, but I'll offer anyways. "When you're ready to hear it, I'll tell you what happened with the Kira case. I'll tell you what went right and what went wrong. But, not now. Now, you need to rest and just be with your cats and with us. Rest for now."

"I can't," A says to L, still crying but no longer sobbing, "Can't do nothing."

"Then we'll try to come up with something. There's no rush on when I go back, we have time to at least discuss things."

He takes out another kleenex.

"I promise not to write off your concerns, and I will discuss solutions with you, but you have to promise not to do anything rash before all of us discuss it. This effects everyone, A, and we'll respect your needs, but you need to trust us, too."

I pet Einstein as he continues approaching A slowly. "The only reason we didn't tell you was that we didn't want you to worry too much. We're doing everything we can." I look away, at the bed. "As much as we want to, A, we don't understand everything going into this, not now. I...I should be dead, so should Matt. But, we're here, we're alive. It could be, that here, we are safe from what happened there." I look over at him. "When you're calmer, when you've heard the whole story, then we can think of what else can be done. But, to do that, you need to rest. So, you're not doing nothing, A. You're preparing." Sleep would do him well. I'd suggest some marijuana, but I don't think L would approve and it's better to experiment with drugs when you're in a saner place than A is right now.

"I want him to be safe," A tells Mello. "How... how can I let it... how can I let that happen?" Even as he addresses Mello, A clings to L. Schrodinger and Einstein press against him, Schrodinger uncharacteristically still, Einstein mewing softly.

"Oh," he says to L, and "Oh," again, moaning.

"It means a lot to me that you care," L admits quietly, resting back against the headboard and holding on to A in turn. That is completely true. He's gotten a little too used to people expecting him to die, informing him calmly that it'll happen, accepting it.

"But Mello's right. We can talk about letting it happen and not letting it happen, changing or not changing it when you're rested, calm, and ready to have a longer discussion. He'll tell us everything that's going to happen, and we'll talk about it from there."

And, I'll leave out the digs I put in when I told L. "For now, the best thing to do is breathe, rest, and let the cats purr at you. I promise, the whole story, all of it, just not right now. L is safe for now and will continue to be until after you hear it." I give him a slightly wry smile. "I'll even stand guard if you want."

A nods silently. He still can't accept it, can't bear it. He wants to hurt Light, filet him, scrape the flesh from his spine and pierce it with hot needles.

But instead of saying all that, he curls up with his head in L's lap, eyes wide and staring, only shaking a little.

"Blow your nose, dearest" L instructs, handing him a kleenex and smoothing his hair back, so it isn't in his face. They're both getting to be in need of haircuts, actually.

I've seen that look, I know I have. It was the same look he had in the room with B, only not as intense. I'm not going to be overly concerned about it until later, though. "You rest. I'll watch over both of you and the cats."

A blows his nose obediently, head still pillowed on L's thigh. He puts a hand on Schrodinger and a hand on Einstein.

"Cats."

At least they wouldn't argue if he tried to protect them.

L yawns, hoping it'll be contageous, and leans back against the pillows, taking the kleenex and dropping it on the bedside table.

I slip off the bed over to the desk. There are books to read here while they're resting. The time won't be completely wasted. I think about pulling out the derringer in my boot, but I'd rather not tempt A. I do turn the desk chair so I can watch the room, the window and the door, though. "Get some rest, A."

He's not exactly sleepy, but A is worn out, and it's easy to curl up against A, shaking dwindling to a shiver. He's trying to forget, to block out, blank the blood out of his mind, blank Light out of his mind, and he's quiet and still.

"Think about the Christmas menu," he instructs, brushing his fingers through A's hair again, "and all the wonderful things we'll make.

Mello, there's dark chocolate in the top drawer of the desk, and help yourself to the bookshelf." He adjusts the pillows so he's resting more comfortably. He intends to nap.

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::Open RP - A's Garden::

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