hh_mirror | ::Open RP: House of Cards::

Current Location: Great Hall

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::Open RP: House of Cards::

Still stinging from that tense... was it really an argument, or something else?... with Matt an Mello, Near had wandered down to the library with the intent of studying.

He gave up the seventeenth time he caught himself reading the table of contents of Wilson's Apotropaics.

But he had thought to put several decks of cards (tarot cards, at that!) into his pockets, and what better way to calm his mind than to build a house of cards?

He made his way to the Great Hall and found an empty corner away from any doors, and started stacking.

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"You don't?" There was a hint of defensiveness in the tilt of my chin. "I don't even know if I have a room to go back to, now."

"There are free rooms all over the place. And no, I don't."

"Other rooms don't don't have Mello in them." Was his voice quavering? God, what was happening to him? "Don't you have enough of him?"

Matt stared.

"Near, what the hell's gotten into you?" His voice wasn't unkind, just... confused.

"Well, you won, anyway. You didn't want me to... us to... and now it'll be like before, and he'll only hate me again."

"Oh, yeah right. Because Mello actually listens to me when I think something's a bad idea." He paused. "For a super-genius you're really fucking stupid sometimes."

"You're his friend. I'm just..." He laughed bitterly. "A bad idea. A whim. I don't know what I am. And now he told me to leave."

Matt shrugged. Here was another reason this was stupid: Mello was pissy, tempremental, angry... if Near was going to get upset every time Mello threw a fit - well.

"He told us both to leave."

"It wasn't... didn't used to be... your room."

"..."

If ever there was a time to facepalm, this was it.

"Jesus, Near, he's not kicked you out for good!"

Near looked up at him again. "He told me to leave. He knew you wanted me gone. You're his friend. He told me to leave." His tone was expressionless. "See? You win."

Matt folded his arms across his chest and tilted his head downwards, hiding his expression behind the collar of his vest.

"If you honestly believe that, then..."

"What am I supposed to think, Matt? How am I supposed to know what the hell is going on? All I know for certain is that you don't want it to be going on, and I..."

"You could try asking him." Matt sighed, frustrated, and ran a hand through his hair. "That's not - look, Near, I don't hate you or whatever, I just - you know what I think. But if you're fucking and you still can't even ask him something like this..."

"How am I supposed to ask him anything if he doesn't want to talk to me? I don't even know if..." The thought of never feeling Mello's hand in his hair again seemed like a very bleak prospect. What sense did that make? "How am I supposed to know what he wants when I'm not even sure what I want? I just don't want... this. This nothing."

"Then do something about it. Jesus."

And what the hell was he doing - giving Near relationship advice? In relation to Mello? What a fucking joke.

"I don't know what to do," Near whispered. "I don't understand any of it and I hate not understanding anything and all I know is that I want... want him and I don't understand that either."

And why was he telling Matt this? For all he knew this was yet another joke between Matt and Mello at his expense.

"Couldn't you have just hit me again?"

"Hey, all I wanted to do was yell a bit. You're the one who locked the door."

Matt was beginning to feel distinctly uncomfortable again. The truth was, he didn't know shit about this sort of thing. The fact he knew a bit more than Near didn't say anything, a hamburger probably had better social skills than Near did.

"You came in yelling. You thought we were having sex and you came in yelling. And you wouldn't explain anything. And everything was so... so strange and almost starting to balance and now..." Near swept out an arm abruptly, sending his carefully cards tumbling to the floor. "Now I don't know what to think."

"I did not think - Jesus, Near, not everything is about sex!"

He took a breath, looking at the scattered cards. "People aren't - puzzle pieces. You can't figure them out from a distance. If you want me to go I'll go."

"What did you think, then? What did you think you were bursting in on? Why do you... why don't you want me to have this? I don't even know what's going on, just..." If Near had realized that his shoulders were shaking, he'd have been mortified. "...just it matters so much and you want to break it."

"I don't want to - I'm not - what, d'you think this is some kind of malicious anti-Near thing? Fuck off, man."

"What am I supposed to think?" His voice was low and shaky, and he seemed to fold in on himself. "You think I'm a bad idea, don't want me around... fuck, I can't remember anything else that's made me feel human and you..."