She did love him. Okay. There was something there. He wasn't cheered, but he was relieved. There was hope.
Quickly, or at least as quickly as he could without falling over, he followed her, and when they got out into the corridor, he called out to her again.
"It was a mistake! I didn't know, Lily. I didn't know you didn't realise what you were doing. I thought you'd remember." His words were coming out in a rush. If she wasn't going to sit and listen to him, he would just have to say it while she was within earshot. "That's why I told you everything - that night, I mean. Afterward. I didn't know you were passed out. And I would've told you in the morning, but I felt like shit about it, and I was afraid you would feel uncomfortable around me if I told you the reason I did it, which is that I was in love with you - and I still am - and then our friendship would be ruined, and I can't do that, Lily. I can't. I can't lose you. Even if you're just my friend, I can't lose you."
He paused, but only to catch his breath. "I fucked up. But I wanted it to be true. Right when you kissed me the first time, I wanted it to be true and not some drunken hookup with you. Because as beautiful and attractive and lovely and...and everything I think you are, I don't want that. I want you to love me, too, and I thought you did. At that moment, I thought you wanted me. But...I know I fucked up. And I'm sorry."
He dropped down to his knees. He didn't care who happened to come by during the wee hours and see him like this. He had been in desperate situations before. It was do or die. "I'm on my knees, Lily. Begging you. Please don't leave. I will NEVER do anything like that again. Please don't leave, Lily. You can trust me. I've never given you any other reason not to. Please." The last word was a hoarse whisper.
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Quickly, or at least as quickly as he could without falling over, he followed her, and when they got out into the corridor, he called out to her again.
"It was a mistake! I didn't know, Lily. I didn't know you didn't realise what you were doing. I thought you'd remember." His words were coming out in a rush. If she wasn't going to sit and listen to him, he would just have to say it while she was within earshot. "That's why I told you everything - that night, I mean. Afterward. I didn't know you were passed out. And I would've told you in the morning, but I felt like shit about it, and I was afraid you would feel uncomfortable around me if I told you the reason I did it, which is that I was in love with you - and I still am - and then our friendship would be ruined, and I can't do that, Lily. I can't. I can't lose you. Even if you're just my friend, I can't lose you."
He paused, but only to catch his breath. "I fucked up. But I wanted it to be true. Right when you kissed me the first time, I wanted it to be true and not some drunken hookup with you. Because as beautiful and attractive and lovely and...and everything I think you are, I don't want that. I want you to love me, too, and I thought you did. At that moment, I thought you wanted me. But...I know I fucked up. And I'm sorry."
He dropped down to his knees. He didn't care who happened to come by during the wee hours and see him like this. He had been in desperate situations before. It was do or die. "I'm on my knees, Lily. Begging you. Please don't leave. I will NEVER do anything like that again. Please don't leave, Lily. You can trust me. I've never given you any other reason not to. Please." The last word was a hoarse whisper.