Application for Henry Winter, 'The Secret History'

[onewinteryday.livejournal.com]

(Cleared with Camilla-mun!)


The tall, dark-haired man strides through a door, looking down at his watch. The wire-rimmed glasses he wears glint as he reaches the middle of the room and lifts his head, checking where he is.

When Henry Winter speaks, it is in a cool voice.

’I do hope I’m not late.’



1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Bel Paese. I like Italian cheeses; preferred them over the more readily available, in any case. The name itself means ‘beautiful country’—and cheddar, what does that mean? Nothing. It’s named after the village where it was made. Lack of imagination never made a good cheese.*his mouth quirks slightly here, at the absurdity of the questions; but match absurdity with absurdity*

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Bu--? Ah. Barney. I’m afraid I don’t hold a particular hatred for either; is this a failing at this place?

3. What time is it where you are?

*he spreads his arms wide; he is rather intimidating in this pose, it would seem* Here? I have no idea where here is. But my own watch says it is five pm, so I will agree with that for the time being.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

*Henry looks vaguely disgusted* No. No. I don’t think this question lends itself to any sensible answer.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

‘Live Forever’. Too often drunks and layabouts really do believe that; at least we’ll know where they are, drawn by the shining lights, perhaps.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

*here, he squints, pulling his glasses off* Fra--? Oh, no, Fred. How could I possibly answer? I don’t know any man referenced in the question.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Maybe you’ve missed a few too many deadlines; perhaps you’ve not anticipated the workload. But it’s more than likely you’re finding it too difficult; even with challenging amounts of work, if you are competent you should find time to do it.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Why, how can a man prove that? Even if I were to answer, all you would have is my word. Would that really be enough?

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

*here, he really does look disgusted* I did not anticipate this sort of question. All I have is my watch, and my wallet. *Henry opens his wallet, and, after getting a photograph from it, throws it contemptuously to the floor* Find something you want in there.




"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___HW_________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___HW________.
I agree to be a good sport (pip pip!) and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___HW________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world (Not if I get to Hampden first). _____HW________"

Comments

[onewinteryday.livejournal.com]

'Really?' Henry asks. 'But--why would you choose to do so?'

He used to have an affinity with the lower classes than he, come back, that ability...

[agentsgent.livejournal.com]

"It's my pleasure, sir. I enjoy seeing things put in their proper places." He nods. "And it is a more liveable environment when it's done."

[onewinteryday.livejournal.com]

Henry nods thoughtfully. He likes it. Eventually:

'Do you know anything about the history of the school?'

[agentsgent.livejournal.com]

"Oh, quite so, sir. The young master is preparing on an application to the position of Professor of History of Magic. I've been exposed to a great number of historical texts in the recent past. Is there something you'd care to know?"

[onewinteryday.livejournal.com]

'I'm very interested in whatever you could tell me,' he says honestly. 'Anything at all.'

[agentsgent.livejournal.com]

"Ah, quite so, sir. Hogwarts is the only known school of magic in the British Isles, training the children of Britain and Ireland possessing magical abilities to become fully qualified witches and wizards." He rattled off his patter smoothly, clearly quoting from one text or another.

"Like schools in many English schools, Hogwarts uses the House system. The student body of Hogwarts was originally divided into four Houses, each named after the wizard or witch who founded it. Gryffindor, characterised by valour and courage, founded by Godric Gryffindor; Hufflepuff, characterised by loyalty and a hard work ethic, founded by Helga Hufflepuff; Ravenclaw, characterised by wit and intellect, founded by Rowena Ravenclaw; and Slytherin, characterised by ambition and cunning, founded by Salazar Slytherin."

He lifts his chin. "Much more recently, unusual individuals from various points in time and space have begun to arrive. As a result, there are four additional though rarely used houses. A gentleman of your stature need not concern himself with these."

[onewinteryday.livejournal.com]

Henry digests this information, and smiles at Jeeves. 'Thank you. And so I am in England. When you say 'known'--known to the community at large?'

[agentsgent.livejournal.com]

"Known mostly to the wizarding community, sir, it seems they keep themselves apart from the ordinary humans -- the ones they call 'muggles'."

[onewinteryday.livejournal.com]

As it should be. Henry nods thoughtfully.

'I suppose I can find more on this in the library?'

[agentsgent.livejournal.com]

"Quite so, sir. I recommend starting with 'Hogwarts: a History."

[onewinteryday.livejournal.com]

'I shall find it the moment I am Sorted,' he smiles. 'Where will you place me?'

[agentsgent.livejournal.com]

"You seem a very intellectual gentleman, sir. I think you'd best be suited to Ravenclaw."