hh_mirror | Application for Henry Winter, 'The Secret History'

(Cleared with Camilla-mun!)

The tall, dark-haired man strides through a door, looking down at his watch. The wire-rimmed glasses he wears glint as he reaches the middle of the room and lifts his head, checking where he is.

When Henry Winter speaks, it is in a cool voice.

’I do hope I’m not late.’

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Bel Paese. I like Italian cheeses; preferred them over the more readily available, in any case. The name itself means ‘beautiful country’—and cheddar, what does that mean? Nothing. It’s named after the village where it was made. Lack of imagination never made a good cheese.*his mouth quirks slightly here, at the absurdity of the questions; but match absurdity with absurdity*

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Bu--? Ah. Barney. I’m afraid I don’t hold a particular hatred for either; is this a failing at this place?

3. What time is it where you are?

*he spreads his arms wide; he is rather intimidating in this pose, it would seem* Here? I have no idea where here is. But my own watch says it is five pm, so I will agree with that for the time being.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

*Henry looks vaguely disgusted* No. No. I don’t think this question lends itself to any sensible answer.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

‘Live Forever’. Too often drunks and layabouts really do believe that; at least we’ll know where they are, drawn by the shining lights, perhaps.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

*here, he squints, pulling his glasses off* Fra--? Oh, no, Fred. How could I possibly answer? I don’t know any man referenced in the question.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Maybe you’ve missed a few too many deadlines; perhaps you’ve not anticipated the workload. But it’s more than likely you’re finding it too difficult; even with challenging amounts of work, if you are competent you should find time to do it.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Why, how can a man prove that? Even if I were to answer, all you would have is my word. Would that really be enough?

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

*here, he really does look disgusted* I did not anticipate this sort of question. All I have is my watch, and my wallet. *Henry opens his wallet, and, after getting a photograph from it, throws it contemptuously to the floor* Find something you want in there.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___HW_________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___HW________.
I agree to be a good sport (pip pip!) and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___HW________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world (Not if I get to Hampden first). _____HW________"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

'I have no idea,' he says, lips quirking up in that odd way of his. 'All I know is that my passport deigned to work.'

Well, you've ended up in Scotland, as it happens. This is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and you're being Sorted.

'I see.'

He doesn't.

Witches and wizards: those who maintained a degree of control in those wild times. And while losing for a while was an experience, it had resulted in rather a mess for them.

'Could you explain Sorting for me?' he asks politely.

Sure. I'm Laura, by the by.

Hogwarts is organized on the British boarding school model, with different Houses. In this case there are four main ones, each embodying a character trait, and we students and teachers vote on which we think you're best suited for. A final judgment gets made - *hesitates to bring up the Hat* - and then you're Sorted into your House. You live there, study there, socialize there, earn or lose House points, play sports for the House - like that.

Still with me?

'Henry Winter. I believe so.'

The only familiar part he knows about now is Camilla being here. And that he is a student once more; almost his default setting.

'Which character traits are picked?' Are there even four main ones? Well, define main. Cardinal virtues? Prudence, justice, temperance and fortitude?

If I remember my 'Hogwarts: A History,' it goes by the traits each of the four founders prized most highly. The Houses are named for them. Gryffindor, for the brave and heroic; Ravenclaw, for the smart and studious; Slytherin, for the cunning and ambitious; and Hufflepuff, for the useful, loyal and hardworking, and open to most anyone who doesn't embody any of those.

They've added a few newer houses, for applicants who aren't quite up to par but don't really need to be Squibbed - that is, voted out altogether. I don't think those need worry you, though, based on your application.

So, any of those descriptions sound appealing, Henry Winter?

Cunning suits him. Hardworking, yes. Not brave. Coward's way out.

'Ravenclaw,' he eventually decides. 'I think I would be best suited there. When was the school founded, do you know?'

*nods* Ravenclaw. I had a feeling you'd say that.

Nobody's really sure of the exact date, but it's over a thousand years ago, that much everyone does agree on. It's always been kept hidden from - well, judging by your clothes, from people like us - people not born to the use of magic. Muggles, they call us. A whole functional society of witches and wizards, going on right under our noses. Can you imagine?

Henry leans his head back, in thought. Finally he answers.

'You know,' he says, 'I rather think I can.'

*giggles* If you can get past that mental stumbling block, then I think you'll probably do well here, Mr. Winter.

I'm willing to forgo a bribe, if you'll answer a question - fully and honestly, because you're clever and can answer a question without explaining anything.

What did you mean when you said your passport deigned to work?

'I was travelling before,' he says thoughtfully. 'There were some places I could not get to. This used to be one of them, but I felt--somehow--it had opened its doors.'

Damn right he's clever and can answer a question without explaining anything. He feels a sudden rush of pride, but does not--of course--let it show.

*gives him a long, considering look*

Me, I was stuck in a way station for a long, long time before I made it here. We'll have to swap travel stories sometime.

Well played, by the way.

He looks questioningly at her.

'Played?'

Uh-huh. I think you're leaving something out of that answer. But I'm not sure enough of myself to call you on it, so you get a pass this time. Just a feeling I get from reading your application.

Point was, if I'm right about what you're leaving out - you're not the only one. That's all.

Application for Henry Winter, 'The Secret History'

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Vote: Ravenclaw

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