hh_mirror | Application for Henry Winter, 'The Secret History'

(Cleared with Camilla-mun!)

The tall, dark-haired man strides through a door, looking down at his watch. The wire-rimmed glasses he wears glint as he reaches the middle of the room and lifts his head, checking where he is.

When Henry Winter speaks, it is in a cool voice.

’I do hope I’m not late.’

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Bel Paese. I like Italian cheeses; preferred them over the more readily available, in any case. The name itself means ‘beautiful country’—and cheddar, what does that mean? Nothing. It’s named after the village where it was made. Lack of imagination never made a good cheese.*his mouth quirks slightly here, at the absurdity of the questions; but match absurdity with absurdity*

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Bu--? Ah. Barney. I’m afraid I don’t hold a particular hatred for either; is this a failing at this place?

3. What time is it where you are?

*he spreads his arms wide; he is rather intimidating in this pose, it would seem* Here? I have no idea where here is. But my own watch says it is five pm, so I will agree with that for the time being.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

*Henry looks vaguely disgusted* No. No. I don’t think this question lends itself to any sensible answer.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

‘Live Forever’. Too often drunks and layabouts really do believe that; at least we’ll know where they are, drawn by the shining lights, perhaps.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

*here, he squints, pulling his glasses off* Fra--? Oh, no, Fred. How could I possibly answer? I don’t know any man referenced in the question.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Maybe you’ve missed a few too many deadlines; perhaps you’ve not anticipated the workload. But it’s more than likely you’re finding it too difficult; even with challenging amounts of work, if you are competent you should find time to do it.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Why, how can a man prove that? Even if I were to answer, all you would have is my word. Would that really be enough?

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

*here, he really does look disgusted* I did not anticipate this sort of question. All I have is my watch, and my wallet. *Henry opens his wallet, and, after getting a photograph from it, throws it contemptuously to the floor* Find something you want in there.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___HW_________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___HW________.
I agree to be a good sport (pip pip!) and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___HW________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world (Not if I get to Hampden first). _____HW________"

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

After six years, he may well have.

'The cards are probably cancelled,' he says instead.

"Good answer. That's what drinkin' is, ain't it, false advertisin'? Folks go in thinkin' it'll get 'em in a party mood, an' it ends up bringin' 'em down."

She smiled. "This is Peter. My friend Josh gave him to me at Christmas. Josh likes bunnies."

Another decent and efficient gentleman -- how excellent. Jeeves decided to move in before the House Elves had a chance. "Welcome to Hogwarts, sir. Is there anything you might need?"

'The same may be said for a number of activities.'

Henry hunches down slightly to look Peter right in the eyes. 'Hello, my good man.'

'Nothing that I have not already secured,' Henry replies, surprising himself. Camilla--he trusted her. Which was exceedingly odd, as Camilla was the epitome of untrustworthy at times.

'I suppose you could not give me any inclination of how long I might be here? In this room?'

((Hee! I need to know if there's anything fun in here, hehe. Just credit cards?))

"Well, that sucks." She makes a face, and flips to his ID. "Henry... Winter. Huh. "... oh god, Ceres didn't send you, did she?"

"Certainly, sir. You will be here until the sorting hat comes to parcel out where you'll be for your stay at Hogwarts. For some, it's mere hours. For others it's quite extensive. You will be well taken-care of while you're here, sir, fear not."

(No, the only interesting thing is the thing he took out. Credit cards and cash :D))

'I am afraid I do not know that woman,' he replies coolly. Naming herself after a goddess, honestly. As if he'd associate with anyone like that.

Peter looked Henry over carefully, nose twitching, and turned his head to look up at his mistress, who stroked his ears.

"Y'know, I've never seen anybody get quite so mad at the bribery question," Carrie observed.

((Cash is interesting!! Hee.))

"Sure you do! Everyone knows Ceres. Has a daughter Persephone who lives with Hades, whines excessively, causes winter." She takes out his cash and tucks it in her cleavage. "Come on, everyone knows my sisters. They're practically required reading."

'Are--are you some sort of servant?' Henry asks, baffled.

The man looks up. 'They didn't find it demeaning? Insulting, in any way?'

What an odd woman. Henry wonders if she might be mad.

'I've read about the Grecian and Roman gods and godesses, yes. I fail to see how that will help you Sort me.'

"I am the personal valet of Master Wooster, sir," he says, smoothing his jacket. "However, I feel those who take care of much in this castle -- the house elves -- do tend to neglect details. So I've taken it upon myself to take care of said details for the more refined entrants."

"Just trying to figure out if I know you. SIgns point to no!" She beams and hops up to her feet, tossing his wallet over her shoulder. "Hi, I'm Eris." She sticks a hand out.

She considered the Sortings she's attended. "Some of 'em weren't comfortable with it, an' with a lotta people'll it'll just be like a token bribe. Most everybody seems t'accept they'll have t'make some kind'a offerin' t'get in here, though."

'Really?' Henry asks. 'But--why would you choose to do so?'

He used to have an affinity with the lower classes than he, come back, that ability...

I'm sure you are, he thinks, but shakes the hand. 'Henry Winter. So--Eris--'

Because he should humour her, really.

'Why would a goddess need to come here?'

Offerings. How familiar.

'I would have hoped human civilisation would have gone past that,' he answers crisply. 'Is it not enough for one whole person to submit themselves to this place?'

"It's my pleasure, sir. I enjoy seeing things put in their proper places." He nods. "And it is a more liveable environment when it's done."

"Need? No, I picked it! I mean, after my mean little brother took my powers, I had to do something with my spare time."

Henry nods thoughtfully. He likes it. Eventually:

'Do you know anything about the history of the school?'

Completely insane, he decides. 'Really? So, what is the 'something'?'

"Oh, quite so, sir. The young master is preparing on an application to the position of Professor of History of Magic. I've been exposed to a great number of historical texts in the recent past. Is there something you'd care to know?"

"It can be. Some people'll offer a service, like t'teach somethin' they know how t'do, or t'fix somethin' of ours, or t'make somethin'." She thought it over.

"I'm glad that question's there, 'cause like a lotta people I showed up here with nothin', no money or clothes or resources a'tall. So I'm not above takin' a bribe. But mostly I think it's there so we can see what's important t'you - what you think is valuable."

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Application for Henry Winter, 'The Secret History'

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