Kyouya Ootori, Ouran High School Host Club

[shadowy-host.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Chevre, a goat cheese. It’s got a good flavor, yet doesn’t upset my digestion.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I would never kill anyone. I’d hire someone to do it for me.

3. What time is it where you are?
19:52:45

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I do not harass people without reason, but if I must, I will pick young Mr. Potter. I am always on the search for new Hosts, and Mr. Potter would make an excellent athletic type. His slight frame and striking green eyes could potentially make him a popular Host, especially in attire that shows off his best attributes. While admittedly a strenuous test, the sexual molestation would be a good way to gage if he has the personality to play the role expected of him.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Ootori Host Bar. Host Bars are a lucrative business, it is only natural that we start a chain of them. Above and beyond that, the Ootori group is concerned with the happiness and well being of people. What better way to cheer people up than to operate a Host Bar?

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
You simply do not have adequate staff assisting you. Might I suggest raising the wages you are paying them? It is tempting to go cheap, but you get what you pay for.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe
How would you like a week-long, all expenses paid vacation to Tropical Aqua Garden in Japan? It Or if you have muggle-friends in need of care, the Ootori Group offers some of the finest medical services in the world. If you find yourself in need of manual labor, might I offer the services of Tamaki-kun? He still owes me time as my servant after he lost “Rich Man, Poor Man.”

Comments

Slytherin

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

What is "Rich Man, Poor Man"?

Re: Slytherin

[shadowy-host.livejournal.com]

It is a most amusing card game. I could teach it to you some time, if you would like. The winner is know as the "Rich Man" (that would be me) and the prize for winning is the services of the "poor man" and the "destitute."

Re: Slytherin

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

*Wolfram thinks for a moment. Yuuri as his servant was a happy thought. Oh, the things Wolfram would do to him... like make him stop looking at girls, and pose for his portraits*

Teach me the game and I won't change my vote to Squib!

Re: Slytherin

[shadowy-host.livejournal.com]

Certainly. Here (http://www.pagat.com/climbing/asshole.html) is a handy guide to the rules of the game to keep for future reference. As soon as you assemble a big enough group, ideally at least five people, I will be happy to take you through a practice round.

[missprimavera.livejournal.com]

What is a Host, exactly?

[shadowy-host.livejournal.com]

We cater our services to wealth women (and the occasional welath man). We simply play up to their fantasies. We sit and make small talk, flatter them, and occasionally create elaborate scenarios to fit the theme of the day.

For example, for a tropical retreat day, we will wear appropriate costumes, bring in all sorts of foilage and exotic birds and do everything we can to ensure that the customer feels that not only she is in the tropics, but the Queen of the tropics.

Everyone has a type so that a girl can find the Host that suits them best. Hikaru and Karou offer the ultimate taboo of twin-love. Honey is a shota-type. I am a megane type. *glasses shine*

[manriki-chan.livejournal.com]

*frowns* Why aren't you interested in being in Hufflepuff?

[missprimavera.livejournal.com]

*also frowning* Well, if he thinks he's too good for Hufflepuff, we wouldn't want him anyway.

[shadowy-host.livejournal.com]

My father has certain expectations of me. Now that I managed to convince him to make me, his third-born son, next in line to run the Ootori group, I must keep him happy.

I do not know what his grudge against your house is, but it is his request that I either get into Slytherin or Ravenclaw.

[manriki-chan.livejournal.com]

Families are such chores... You really have so little spine?

[shadowy-host.livejournal.com]

I earned my position as the heir. If I didn't want the responsibility I would have sat on my hands and watched as my oldest brother was named heir.

[lord-tamaki.livejournal.com]

Kyouya! What should we do to keep Haruhi out of the clutches of two sets of diabolical red-headed twins?

And I owe you time as a servant? A vile slander! Me, the Lord of the Host Club? A servant? Doing manual labour? Unthinkable! Absolutely unthinkable!

(This CD of photos for the next Collection should settle the score, right?)

[shadowy-host.livejournal.com]

Tamaki, Haruhi is fully capable of taking care of you.

And yes, you still owe me. I don't care that you're the President, I won Rich Man, Poor Man fairly.

(We'll see)

[lord-tamaki.livejournal.com]

Haruhi... Taking care of me? I don't understand what you mean.

I would never attempt to weasel out of a bet unless I thought I could get away with it. My honour demands that I redeem my debt. But honestly Kyouya, physical labour as a servant? I was certain you had a better sense of propriety.

[shadowy-host.livejournal.com]

I meant she can handle herself. If she does not want to be molested by the twins--either set, she will let it be known.

And I know you would try, you've done so before. You are my servant, I will have do you what I wish.

[voted-sexiest.livejournal.com]

I think I like your attitude. What exactly is a Host Bar?

[shadowy-host.livejournal.com]

It is a place where women with too much money and not enough to do gather to be entertained by having a sort-of pretend boyfriend join her for the time that she is in the bar. He flatters her, makes small talk, and otherwise makes her feel as if she has a boyfriend for the time that is spent in the bar. She can reserve a Host in advance, and many of them choose to do so because they enjoy the company of particular Hosts or a particular type (such as Gothic-Lolita or Megane).

[voted-sexiest.livejournal.com]

Sounds interesting. Are you planning to open one of these bars on school grounds?

What are these "types"?

[shadowy-host.livejournal.com]

If there is sufficient interest I might.

Types depend on the Hosts available. Honey-kun, for example, is my age but looks no older than six or seven. He thus plays up this boyish aspect which appeals to some women.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

A trip to Japan would be quite nice, thank you. Now, who exactly owns this Host Bar?

[shadowy-host.livejournal.com]

The one at my old school was not techincally owned by anyone, as it was a school club. That being said, I was in charge of club finances and ensuring that it stayed profitable (which indeed, it did, I've figures to back it up) so that we could continue engaging in ever more lavish set-ups.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

I see! You are the money man. So you and Tamaki are both, shall we say, equal members of this club. I'm sure the ladies of Hogwarts will be delighted to have you both here, especially if you set up a similar operation. Now, I usually place those with a special knack for commerce in Slytherin, and you do appear to fit the Slytherin type, especially with your desire to make your club grow ever more lavish.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

How refreshing it is to find a businessman who's so concerned about his clientele's well-being! And I think you'll find a number of new Hosts, and perhaps even some Hostesses, if you're interested in those, in Slytherin.

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Slytherin!

[lord-tamaki.livejournal.com]

Kyouya! We must plan the establishment of the Host Club at Hogwarts! Shall I send you an owl (e-mail) or shall you send me one?

[shadowy-host.livejournal.com]

Why don't you send me an owl, Tamaki-kun. After all, the club was originally your establishment.