(closed RP) at the Hog's Head

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

The Hog's Head seemed like the right kind of place for conversations of a politically risky sort. Simon knew about the place thanks to some acquaintances who'd been longer at the school than his present, post-repopcorning incarnation. It actually featured in some wizarding history: a goblin rebellion had been plotted here, centuries ago. Whether the Hog's Head sheltered those who were for or who were against the goblins, the book didn't say.

Simon had seen worse places, first in his dealings with the underground movement who helped get River out of the Alliance's clutches, and later with the crew of Serenity. The Hog's Head was about as welcoming and as hygienic as the bar full of mudders on Higgins' Moon. Mudders, people who ... harvested mud, for a living. Wizards didn't have an excuse, Simon thought, frowning into his drink. Wizards knew cleaning charms and scouring spells. What disincentive toward cleaning could they possibly have?

He had ample time to rue his choice of meeting place, as it seemed the enigmatic 'EnigmaWriter' was wise enough to rethink the rendezvous. Time dragged past the hour they'd agreed upon, and Simon saw no one with red hair who wasn't wearing wizarding garb. Actually, he didn't see anyone with red hair at all, since most of the people who went to the Hog's Head were very into headcoverings. Orthodox religion? he wondered idly. He had a book to read, but no one here seemed literate, so he pretended to be very interested in his drink, like the other people here.

He couldn't have stood out any more if he'd tried, short of donning a clown suit and dancing on the table.

Comments

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

Enter the woman who is never wrong, never late, never out of place. Ever.

She walked in, head high, a bustle in her step she had added just outside the door. "Oh," she said, looking around quickly, finding the only other 'normally' dressed person in the room, "you must be Simon," she said, her voice full of 'Gee, I've been running since I left the school' only...not really. She fanned herself and smiled. "Do you mind if I get a drink?" she asked, pointing to the bar and then bustling over without waiting for a reply.

She came back, drink in hand, and joined him. "Hi, I'm Maddie," she said as she sat down.

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

Simon perked up immediately. Another human being! Uh, one who wasn't a wizard (of course, wizards were human beings, that wasn't what he meant at all)! He was so glad to see her that he immediately and generously forgave her tardiness.

"Hi. I'm Simon. I thought you'd --"

Oh, she wasn't listening, she had gone off to the bar while he was trying to introduce himself.

She came back with a drink, and he felt obliged by courtesy to point out: "Make sure there aren't any, er, crumbling bits floating in there, before you drink it. Just a word to the wise."

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

Maddie looked at her drink. It appeared...okay, she guessed. She swirled it a bit and set it on the table. "Anyways, you said you had some information on the history of the school?" she asked brightly, though slightly quieter than she'd said hi to him.

She could be discreet, sometimes.

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

"Some." Simon shook his own mug, just to see if he'd missed anything. These ought to come with a strainer. "I've been here a while, I'm told. In some form or another. It's my good luck --" he pulled a wry face -- "to have become reacquainted with some of the people I apparently used to know. And since you're a writer researching the school history, I have a feeling you also might have turned up some information, maybe things most people don't know yet. So this is meant to be an educational outing for me, as well."

He smiled at her.

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

'In one form or another' or 'so I'm told' are not very promising ways to begin a conversation, not when you wanted information out of the other person without having to give much for it.

She hates giving more than she has to, but sometimes, it just can't be helped.

But, he was cute, so, some allowances could be made.

"Some of these you'd rather not have re-met, I take," Maddie said. "I have read the majority of the histories in the library and those I've spoken with know little more than that."

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

He realized he was still wearing the tinted lenses. Now that Maddie had already found him, he didn't need to wear them in order to be recognized by her; and since the interior of the Hog's Head was far from sunny, sunglasses were a pointless sort of fashion statement. He took them off and folded them. "Mm. Have you ever run into someone who thought you looked familiar, and you couldn't remember them if your life depended on it? It's a little like that, to 're-meet' people at Hogwarts, except that the stakes are higher than social embarrassment."

He sipped from his mug of questionable stuff. More palatable than mudder's milk, and less chunky, he could say that for it.

"The histories in the library are from a time before us, before people like you and me would ever even have been here. If they're useful at all, it's to explain what some of the Houses are, and what Sorting used to mean. You know it used to be a school for children, right?"

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

Maddie is fond of inducing that feeling to build a false sense of rapport and getting people to tell her things. "Somewhat," she admitted ingenuously. "Though, I haven't met anyone here that I've recognized." Not for lack of trying.

"So I have read. The Sorting Ceremony was for first year students and that Hat was only out the." She looked around, for all the good it would do. "I have heard that the Hat forced two blokes to marry for it's amusement. That sort of thing wouldn't have happened when this was a proper school." She refers to Hagrid and Turlough's wedding as she hasn't been around enough to hear of other weddings.

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

"Only two?" Simon looked thoughtful. "What I've heard is that it forced most of the school into marriages. Then it moved everyone outdoors into tents, to live in nuclear family units."

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

Maddie blinked. She couldn't help it. She hadn't expected to hear that. "Since I've been here," she said. The thought of the Hat's horrid sense of humor, and those she knew or knew of, was too terrible.

Watch the hat pair her with Lezard as a spouse and Kurama as a child. The horrors of that.

"I also heard it filled someone's room with cheese when it didn't like their answers to that ridiculous questionnaire."

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

That properly horrified Simon. "Solid cheese, or liquid?"

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

The mun is completely clueless on 'liquid' cheese, unless it means 'cottage' cheese.

Maddie, however, will act as though it is a perfectly reasonable question.

"Solid. From what I heard, he eventually had a fondue party to get rid of it. The house elves were rather uncooperative."

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

Ah. Not life-threatening, merely a nuisance. A prank. Simon relaxed. "No scalding, no drowning, all's well that ends well? Though it does suggest the Hat enjoys inconveniencing people." He tapped the handle of his mug with well-manicured fingernails in an idle rhythm. "There's no consistency to its actions, at least not the ones I've heard about, other than that. I'm not entirely sure it's running the show here. We have a Headmistress, don't we?"

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

You should have heard the samurai bitch about the smell of his lovely kimono!

"I've heard the Hat had something to do with summoning that Baby Sun," Maddie said. "And, the Headmisstress is a toy, a thing called a Furby."

Yes, she sounded appropriately appalled at that.

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

Simon didn't know enough to be appalled. He could tell from the way Maddie sounded that he, too, should be appalled, but he wasn't sure how/why this would work. The Headmistress is a toy didn't register as literal for him. Yet.

A blank look on an otherwise intelligent man can be a strange thing. On Simon, it was the kind of look that sometimes made Kaylee women want to take him by the shoulder and glomp guide him, or made Mal men want to punch him in the face ... all right, punch him in the face.

"A Furby?"

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

Maddie is on the 'zomg, he's cute' side of life, only she'll also try to play cool...for now. She is still mostly sober, after all.

Now...the mun has to struggle through what a Furby is, especially since they came out the holiday season before Maddie's from, in the US.

"I'm not familiar with a lot of toys, not being around children much, but I understand it to be a toy that talks a nonsense language and learns English. They are...were...very popular in the United States this past...the holiday season before I arrived."

Oh, the trap of verbs.

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

"Except this one is alive." The statement was a tentative one. It barely escaped being a question, really. Simon watched Maddie's face, to try to tell whether she was having a joke at his expense.

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

The mun is having a joke at Maddie's expense, but that is something else entirely.

Maddie thought a moment. "I don't think so. It's a robot or something like that."

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

If she was a liar, she was a good one. "Artificial intelligence, possibly." The Furby, not Maddie, that was. Simon lifted his mug, and then admitted to himself that he really didn't want to drink any more of what was inside. Getting too close to the bottom of the mug would mean confronting the chunky dregs.

"I'm going to get us something that comes in a bottle," he decided, aloud. "One second." He could have these decisive moments, you see. He got up and headed over to the bar without waiting for the obligatory polite oh, nothing for me, thanks, or whatever might have been said. Actually it would have been more polite to give Maddie the chance to decline, but Simon was being decisive, so.

One man with good posture, dressed in slacks and dress shirt and vest, with no hood or hat on, among a room sparsely populated with hooded wizards hunched over their tables or over the bar. Conspicuous, never. We shall not speak of the view afforded by Simon walking away

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

The mun will not lie. Maddie watched. Maddie appreciated. Yes, he's something of a dork, but what girl who lusts for guys doesn't admire a pair of well-fit pants from behind? Even guys who lust for girls and girls who lust for girls may admit that well-fit pants on anyone, even a guy, are worthy of at least 1.5 glances.

She is not big on overly decisive, but in this case, it seems a good thing. The returning view isn't bad, either. Nothing to complain about, really. A little odd on the fashion sense, but that's just clothing.

And, she wouldn't have declined. She likes drinks shared with nice looking blokes.

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

Either butterbeer was not on the menu, or that was considered a kiddie drink, because when Simon asked for something in a bottle, he wound up with two bottles of firewhiskey.

No one who lived in Ravenclaw could not know what firewhiskey was.

He felt obliged to make an apology to Maddie when, returning, he set a full bottle of firewhiskey in front of her. "It's not that I'm trying to ply you with strong liquor, to get really juicy gossip about the Sorting Hat," he said, "it's just that this was ... what they had." Or what they were willing to sell the oddly-dressed non-hooded guy. "Also, no glasses." Or more to the point, they didn't offer him any and they gave him such a weird look that he refrained from asking.

At least on Higgins' Moon he hadn't been the one doing the ordering. Being part of Serenity's crew was handy that way. There were always people at hand who were much more clueful in the ways of Rim-world and backward cultures. Wizarding culture = possibly very backward. Simon had his theories.

"Anyway. The Sorting Hat and the, ah, Furby. I've heard that there's a Headmistress but I never have seen her. What I have seen is her secretary. He's called Kojiro."

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

But...alcohol is good on bad dates. How else will this get more awkward without it?

And...indirect kiss...

The mun is 12.

"Don't worry about it," Maddie said magnanimously. I mean, she did enjoy the view, after all, and it has been awhile. "Unless you're concerned," she added. While under most circumstances, drinking from the bottle was rather déclassé, what could you do?

"And, as far as I've been able to gather, the Furby is the Headmistress. I haven't seen this Kojiro, though I have heard he is very set against central air."

It's getting hot in here....

The mun will shut up and stuff...

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

"Right," said Simon, a little flustered. They had established that the Headmistress was a Furby. What he'd meant to convey was that he had heard of her (though not that she was a Furby -- that part, Maddie had just explained to him, insofar as such a thing could be explained, and it still hadn't sunk in) but he had seen Kojiro, which was different than just hearing of Kojiro.

Or something.

Talking to people who weren't his sister could be difficult sometimes. There were these imperfect understandings, and he'd end up feeling like he'd put his foot in his mouth, or like he was speaking a different language -- no, a dialect of the same language, close enough that they seemed mutually intelligible, but divergent enough that they actually weren't.

"Unlike his employer, Kojiro is not a Furby," he said, after a pause during which he sorted out mentally the strands of prior conversation, and enjoyed (?) a throat-scalding sip of firewhisky. "He looks human, or at least humanoid. When you do see him, you can't possibly mistake him for anyone else. His hair's buzzed short and bleached to a yellow that practically glows, and his outfit is not like anything I've seen wizards or non-wizards wearing in our vicinity. He wears these, these ..." Words could not describe them. "Pants, that look more like he's wearing a parachute. And no shirt or shoes."

Kojiro could catch hookworm if he wasn't careful!

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

Just like England and the United States are two countries separated by the Atlantic Ocean...

Or something like that, at any rate.

"Like that American rapper...the one named...oh, after a tool. Oh, McHammer or something like that." Maddie waves her hand slightly, dismissing it, then picks up the bottle to take a drink. The mun justifies this as 'he was really popular at the time. "Rather ridiculous looking," she gasps out, trying to breath around the alcohol burn.

"But, anyways, tell me a little about yourself."

Focused, totally.

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

See, Simon had missed the hidden subtext of Maddie's compy post. He really did think they were there to discuss the history of the school, and how it descended to its current state of madness. Therefore, her request to tell her about himself was taken in that context.

"I wasn't here for the transition from the Hogwarts of the history books to the Hogwarts we're in now." He hoped that the firewhiskey wasn't making Maddie sick. The gasping was a concern. But he didn't want to embarrass her, so he wouldn't say anything about it unless it recurred or worsened. "I'm not sure if anyone has. I gather I was here fairly early on, then I became popcorn. Then I came back, then became popcorn again. And now here I am. I haven't retained any memories of those previous visits, though as I said, there are other people who do remember me when I was here. There have also been people who traveled with me before any of us came to Hogwarts. We were all on a ship together. A spaceship," he admitted, "but a small one, a spacecraft really. Serenity. I was a passenger, then I joined the crew as the ship's doctor."

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

Shame on the mun for missing this. Something should be thrown at her. She blames it on having 14 tabs open.

Like that's a good excuse or something...but, there's 23 other tabs in other browsers and she just realized that two of those are the same...

The mun will stop babbling about her poor browser hygiene now...

Ah, a doctor...even if he is rather barmy and thinks he was on a spacecraft.

Well, given this place, why not?

"Do you remember being popcorn twice or is it that you were told that?" she asked. "And, your friends, have they been here the whole time?"

She is secretly hoping none of those friends are friends, because, doctor=catch, y'know.

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

"I don't remember anything between Serenity and this time at Hogwarts, I'm afraid. I've been told by people who knew me in between popcornings. My friends from Serenity, most of them are popcorn again, except for my sister. I guess the person who remembers me best is, well, not so much a friend. She's sort of ... my former girlfriend?" Embarrassing to explain it. He felt like a heel whenever he dealt with Chance, even though he couldn't possibly have helped being popcorned or not remembering her. "And it's too strange for her to be friends, since I don't remember her. But she's a good person. She's been here for years now."

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

In Maddie's head: Note to self: Find former girlfriend.

Also in Maddie's head: girlfriend...ah, former...still...hmmmm...friends, though? At least he's now single...likely...

There's still a chance, she thinks.

Wait until she finds out.

"That's another thing I'm curious about, the whole 'popcorn' situation. It is a rather strange system and I haven't found any mention of it in the histories I found in the library. What is it like? What do you remember of it?"

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

"If you're working on a new history of the school, popcorn ought to be a chapter all on its own. You're right, it doesn't turn up in any histories or wizarding media that I've seen. I don't even know if the wizarding tabloid press has covered it." Simon thought for a moment. "I don't have any actual memories of the popcorning process. I only remember waking up covered in butter (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1650403.html). That's a commonality among people who've been popcorn and come back. You wake up in the popcorn room and you're buttered. It's certainly disorienting."

He gave a short and unmirthful laugh, realizing just what an understatement he'd made.

"Sometimes you find out that you've left things behind, from the time before you were popcorn, and the house elves have brought me a few things like that. Some books, mainly. Other than that, you're lucky to have the clothes on your back. I woke up in my pajamas, without shoes or even a shirt." Let alone any vests!

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

Ooooo...shirtless...

Damn, too bad she missed it.

Which, of course, means she'll have to try and see it at a later date, because, he's got a nice body in his clothes, so it's gotta be nice out of his clothes.

"That sounds almost worse than the sorting process," Maddie said sympathetically because sympathy will get you everywhere, even in someone else's shirt.... "And, I haven't managed to get through many volumes of the Quibbler. It is a rather oddly published thing, much worse than the Daily Mail. And, their Daily Prophet is obviously state controlled."

[superfraternal.livejournal.com]

Simon had the laziest mun.

"State-controlled to what extent, do you think? Just censored, or is the whole thing propaganda?" Maddie's theory was interesting. "I wonder if Hogwarts has any kind of state oversight or involvement, for that matter. People have tried to start student newspapers here, but it never seems to work out. Possibly they're suppressed, though I've never seen any evidence one way or the other."

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

I dunno...this mun is pretty lazy. She went and took a nap and slept before tagging back.

"From what I've been able to gather from the fragmented journals and records from just before this place became utterly barmey, propaganda. There are reports of this Dark Magic fellow coming back in journals and such while the Daily Prophet declares it a hoax and then a sudden turn about after an attack at the Ministry of Magic that resulted in several deaths. And, during that time, the Ministry did attempt to take over the school, if the journal records I found are correct."

Journals were, after all, the spin of the writer with no editorial comment or correction.