Application for Mia Fey, Phoenix Wright / Gyakuten Saiban game series

[defense-rests.livejournal.com]

((Mia is taken from after Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations, so beware of moderate spoilers. I'll label major spoilers in the comments if at all possible. Also: important clues are indicated by colored text in the game. I will keep this to a minimum.

Permission has been obtained from the other active PW muns. Can you say "workninja?" I knew that you could. Back for an hour or two. Forget status notes, Mia's been Sorted, but I'm going to still endeavor to finish threads here. Don't wait on me. XD))

Date: ??? Time: ???
Location: ???

A tall, attractive brunette in her late twenties suddenly appears in the Sorting Room. Initially, she is unsurprised to find herself there. But her brow furrows as she studies her unfamiliar surroundings and the lack of any familiar faces. She approaches the desk of applications with a sigh, expecting a panicked note from her little sister. "Maya, what have you gotten into now?"

The Dictaquill promptly jumps to life and takes down her question. Mia hesitates, then reads over the application thoughtfully, bemused but still not looking all that out-of-sorts. But when she looks down at herself, she starts in surprise; while she seems perfectly at home in the suit she's wearing, her current ensemble is not what she expected.

She can only think of a few explanations for this, all of which are completely insane:

1) Maya (or, heaven forbid, Pearl) has broken into some sort of old castle, dressed up like her and having changed her hair to match Mia's. While Maya has done some incredibly insane things, this seems a little too far-fetched even for her little sister. If this is the case, Phoenix has some serious explaining to do.

2) Redd White failed to kill her, and the events of the last three years were a head-injury-induced dream and after being knocked out someone dumped her in some old castle. (Yes, wishful thinking, but still.)

3) Somehow, she is no longer dead - well, the ability to breathe and the obvious pulse are evidence enough of that - and in her own body.

...The fact that the third option is the most plausible should indicate just how strange her current situation is.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

The Dictaquill doesn't so much as twitch when Mia picks it up, preferring to write her answers herself. She considers the first question for a minute or two before putting quill to parchment.

I don't consider myself an aficionado of cheeses - you'd have to talk to my little sister about that. Specifically, cheeseburgers, but I think she's tried them with over a dozen types of cheese by now. But if I had to pick one, I've always been rather fond of Parmesan.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Neither. Simply being annoying and abrasive is not an executable offense. Although if either of them wanted me to represent them in court, I don't think I could do so in good conscience. Heaven forbid I would ever have to cross-examine either of them...

3. What time is it where you are?

Being deceased makes it difficult to tell, especially since whoever's channeling me isn't wearing a watch. She pauses, then adds, Assuming this is a channeling.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Mia rereads this question and bursts out laughing in spite of herself.

"Order of the... Phoenix?" Oh, dear. Perhaps for once it's Phoenix, not Maya, causing the mayhem. (As much as she loves her sister, she knows Maya well enough to know that Maya is the trouble-maker while Phoenix is the trouble-magnet.) Still chuckling and shaking her head, she writes:

I don't really know who these people are, to be honest. So I can't supply an informed answer to such an important question. I can make an educated guess from what I know about the subject - I doubt that Mr. Dumbledore would have sexual harassment as his top priority after returning from the dead.

Mia certainly wouldn't. Unless one of these Order members is named Diego Armando.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

I would call it The Gallery. That's where all the customers would be; I would be the only one literally passing the bar.

What? A defense attorney, pass up a joke about the wrong kind of bar? At least it's not as blatant as it could have been.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Frowning, Mia taps the feathered end of the quill against her cheek. Really, these questions are frustrating. It's not the sheer randomness that troubles her so much as the lack of information.

Again, I can't supply an informed answer to this question. Why ask such personal (albeit silly) questions about certain people without any information about them?

She pauses as something tugs at the trailing end of her scarf. The house-elf standing there offers her a file folder. Stunned, Mia takes it. "...thank you?" The house-elf bows and disappears. Mia stares at the space the elf occupied for a second or two before turning to the file and flipping through it.

Profiles of Harry Potter, Fred Weasley and George Weasley added to the Court Record.

Fred and George are twin brothers? Oh, my. I would say that Harry should choose the one he loves. Identical twins are not necessarily identical where it counts the most just look at Dahlia and Iris.

If he's not doing it for love... well, he shouldn't marry either if he doesn't love them, obviously. That's not a good reason to choose one over the other and potentially drive a wedge between them. Sibling rivalry can be the most destructive kind; at its worst, it can tear entire families apart. I'm not talking about Romulus and Remus. I've seen this happen.

Mia blinks, coming back to reality, and brushes a lock of hair out of her face. Well. She didn't mean to go on at length about that. Deciding that scratching it all out again and starting over would be too messy, she adds:

Bottom line: Harry should choose to be with whoever he loves - and be honest enough to admit his feelings. You can never tell someone that you love them too many times. Life's too short.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Well, after that last question, some levity is definitely required.

...Your name is Phoenix Wright?

Mia smiles, remembering the state of Phoenix's desk. You may just need a more coherent filing strategy. Or a competent office manager. Unfortunately, if you can't delegate it, the best way to deal with paperwork is to actually fill it out. With a pen, not with a flamethrower. Believe me, I could understand the temptation sometimes.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Prove she isn't useless? To whom does she have to prove this, and with what? An almost completely empty Court Record? Mia fingers the magatama pendant around her neck for a moment, thinking.

I suppose it depends on what you consider useful, really. Before I left home to study law, I trained in the Kurain Channeling Technique for several years. I was in charge of my own criminal defense law firm at the age of 27 when I died. Some would say that counts for something. I've been called back since then to help my protege out of tight spots from time to time. I also know how to make an excellent cup of coffee. After being with Diego for so long I

Mia stops and cuts that train of thought off before it can go any further. Best to stick to information that's in the public domain for now.

I'm afraid the only evidence I can present is my attorney's badge, although it's three years out of date assuming it's mine and not a facsimile. I could make a better case for myself had I any more to present, but you'll have to take my word for it.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Mia raises an eyebrow at the word "bribe," but decides it's about as tongue-in-cheek as the rest of the application seems to be.

Setting aside the fact that I don't bribe people as a rule, I'm not equipped to bribe anyone at the moment. As I said, I don't have a watch on me, much less any money - but I could offer free legal advice. Or a good cup of coffee. It would probably help if I knew where this place was or what squib meant. If you need help with anything in particular, I'll see what I can do. ...Within reason, of course.

Does she have to add that last clause? Maybe, maybe not, but given how little she has to work with it's probably best to be careful.


I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Mia Fey
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Mia Fey
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Mia Fey
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Mia Fey

Comments

[wright-phoenix.livejournal.com]

"Hey!" Phoenix yelled, but it was a good natured yell, cause he knows damn well his desk is messy. "Chief! It's great to see you in your own body again! Pearl will be so glad to see you too! Oh, and no, unless there's a lookalike of you running around, I think you came back to life, and hey! Pearl only knows up to the case with Engarde, I think she's from earlier in time than we are, and chief, it is so good to see you!"

To say that Phoenix was glad to see his former boss after (for him) three years was an understatement.

[defense-rests.livejournal.com]

((Heh, sorry, would you believe I crashed 20 minutes before you posted? *runs off to a meeting*))

Well, it had gotten better the last time she'd been channeled into the office. At least then she could see the desk beneath the pile.

"Phoenix?" All right, this was a pleasant surprise. As was the lack of panic and bad news. "Wait, slow down. One thing at a time. Did you say I ? How is that possible, and where are we?"

No sign or mention of Maya, but Pearl was at least all right. She filed that away for after they got past the state of not-being-dead-anymore.

[wright-phoenix.livejournal.com]

"Well, yeah! I mean, I can't say for sure, but I've seen a couple ghosts here, and I heard that there are some people that look and feel alive but remember dying, so I think that's what happened to you. You look alive, that's for sure."

He grinned. "Or maybe since it's only 2007, your past self is channelling your future self! Or present, or whatever it would be."

Technically impossible, but you see his point.

"We're at Hogwarts. It's a school for magic. I came here a little while ago, found my way back home, came back here, and not long after that Pearls showed up here. I don't know why I came the first time, but I think I came back because she was coming here."

[charlesmacaulay.livejournal.com]

Tall attractive brunette? Charles was so there. Tall attractive brunette offering free legal advice? Even better. Charles hoped it wouldn't be long before his sister needed a divorce lawyer.

"I'm afraid the only kind of bar you'll find around here isn't the kind you're used to," he told her, with a rueful smile. "Charles Macaulay, happy to meet you," and he offered his hand to shake.

[defense-rests.livejournal.com]

Divorce? With her family history? Mia wouldn't be touching that with a ten-foot pole. Murder cases were a lot less messy.

Mia eyed the Dictaquill. "I'd be a bit concerned if that wasn't the case." Smiling, she accepted the handshake. "Mia Fey. The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Macaulay. Where might 'here' be, if you don't mind my asking?"

[charlesmacaulay.livejournal.com]

"'Here' is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It kind of sucks people in whether they like it or not. On the plus side, room and board are free, and the parties are lively, I'll say that much. Ever had a yen to learn magic?"

[secondfastest.livejournal.com]

Toki looks confused. "But... flamethrowers is awesome. They makes the papers go away so you don't have to looks at them."

[defense-rests.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I'm not denying the temptation," Mia replied. "But if you don't fill it out, the paperwork keeps coming back. Judges don't seem to like it when you burn court orders for some reason." Or dunk them in coffee. The only reason Diego hadn't gotten penalized for that stunt was because they couldn't prove it wasn't an accident.

"And I'm afraid you'd probably run out of flamethrowers before the legal system runs out of paperwork." She offered a hand. "I'm Mia Fey, and you are...?"

[secondfastest.livejournal.com]

As is usual, Toki tunes out all but what he wants to hear. "Nah, just keeps buyings more!" Because when you're obscenely rich, buying more flamethrowers is no big deal at all. "Fires is metal. I'm Toki."

[apex-raptor.livejournal.com]

Being a raptor, he had exceedingly little use for free legal advice and coffee, nevermind that he could neither read nor speak English and didn't actually know what the woman was offering. What he did know was that he was hungry, vastly outnumbered, tended to be ignored by most occupants of the castle when not causing a ruckus, and that new arrivals occasionally had (or were, themselves) edible snacks of deliciousness.

With a sort of hopeful look to his reptilian face (which in truth was almost indistinguishable from his normal expression), he made his way toward the applicant, claws tapping against the floor as he walked. He stopped a short distance away, stretched his neck forward, and chirruped at Mia expectantly.

(( OOC ))

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

(( *diiiies* This seriously made my morning. You win. ))

[defense-rests.livejournal.com]

((OMG. I nearly snorted coffee out my nose at this one. So much win. Repost to fix reaction.))

Well. This was new. What kind of school let a dinosaur - no, a velociraptor if she was guessing right - wander around unchecked? Especially with Pearl here - her cousin would be maybe one bite for the creature.

Mia eyed the raptor cautiously, remaining outwardly calm. She was already killed once, and did not intend to repeat the experience any time soon. Unfortunately, she was not carrying any snacks on her person, and her badge and magatama might not be too tasty.

She reached up and undid the long scarf around her neck, her free hand resting on the back of the nearby chair (which, fortunately, was not bolted to the floor), never taking her eyes off the raptor as she did so. "Hello there," she said evenly. "Easy, now."

Screaming and running would do no good. If those old movies were any indication, there was no way she could outrun that thing with or without heels, and it would probably provoke an attack. Provoking the six-foot-tall predator was not a good idea. Distracting it might be, and if the long silken scarf didn't work, well, she would think of something that didn't involve getting maimed. Nobody else had seemingly noticed the dinosaur yet, either. For the first time ever, Mia didn't think that Franziska von Karma's penchant for carrying a whip everywhere was quite so insane.

Seriously. There was a velociraptor wandering around this place. The hell?

[computerwizkid.livejournal.com]

Dairine read the application twice, just to make sure she hadn't misunderstood, and was forced to admit that the application did, in fact, seem to indicate that Mia had been dead in the recent past. Being fairly new to Hogwarts, herself, she hadn't yet run across anyone dead. At least, not that she knew of.

"You're - I mean, you've been dead?" she asked, correcting herself. Even if she'd died at some point, Mia was quite clearly alive now.

[defense-rests.livejournal.com]

"For almost three years now," Mia replied. "At least, the last time I was channeled, it had been nearly three years since I was killed." Technically, if what Phoenix had told her was true, she wasn't due to get killed for another eight or nine years. But that was overly complicated.

"I was under the impression that the formerly deceased show up here from time to time, but maybe it's not that common." Which was something of a relief. "I'm Mia Fey. I take it you haven't encountered this phenomenon before?"

[papayagami.livejournal.com]

Crossed out, yes, but this person had the same last name as that sweet little girl he met shortly after his sorting.

"Excuse me, do you know a young girl named Pearl?"

[defense-rests.livejournal.com]

Had Soichiro come and asked that question before she'd spoken to Phoenix, Mia might have been concerned and the mun is pretending this conversation starts before the raptor appears.

Whenever someone had asked her that question about Maya, it was usually followed up by news about an accident, hospital stay or a Maya-crisis such as that time she decided to camp out on the roof in protest of one of her shows being cancelled. Pearl was nowhere near as reckless, but she was a Fey, which usually meant trouble magnet.

"If you mean my cousin Pearl, then yes. My protege informed me she came here a while ago." She offered a hand to shake. "Mia Fey. I hope nothing's happened to her?" Not like Phoenix had been in the Sorting Room very long, but a lot could happen to a nine-year-old child in the space of a few minutes.

[powervacuum.livejournal.com]

Having handwavily received information on how this whole Sorting system worked, Gert had decided to give it a try, but she couldn't get past one of the questions.

"Deceased?" she inquired, looking up from her copy of the application.

[defense-rests.livejournal.com]

Mia nodded, completely unperturbed by the question. It was actually a bi amusing at this point. "Formerly deceased, yes. For almost three years. I have no idea how this happened, although I'm not complaining. ...I may have to make a sign at this rate."

[senorcyborg.livejournal.com]

((We'll pretend Vic was unpopped before Mia appeared... or something. Yay confusing timelines. I also now can't decide if I'd like playing Edgeworth or Kaminogi/Godot more. Both would be lulzy and full of sekrit angst.))

It wasn't that Victor necessarily had a 'thing' for smart women even though he probably did—he simply appreciated above average intelligence, period, which this woman just so happened to possess. He liked her already.

"Running your own law firm at twenty-seven is pretty impressive," he commented. "As is knowing how to make good coffee." He scanned over his copy of the application again, then looked at Mia. "But what do you mean by... you've been 'called back' since you died?"

[defense-rests.livejournal.com]

((Yeah, we can do that. Twisting around HH time is not a new thing. Either one would be awesome! But seriously, app whoever's voice comes more easily to you. This is personal experience talking: when an essay question on middleware is easier than writing a tag, you KNOW something's wrong.))

The latter achievement was more impressive than Victor knew - being able to make a cup of coffee that met Diego's standards was a feat in itself.

Mia very nearly laughed at the question. Perhaps a sign wasn't such a bad idea. "Traditionally, the women of my family have been extremely powerful spirit mediums. My younger sister channeled me on several occasions after I was murdered. So I initially assumed that was the case here." She sighed. "I probably wouldn't have been so forthcoming had I known better, but back home that was common knowledge."

[mysticpearls.livejournal.com]

((Placeholder for a very short socking that will commence/be picked up when I'm not at work.))

Contrary to what Mia suspected, Pearl would have recognized her anywhere. She may not have seen Mia in years, but she had practically been Maya's shadow. Maya, of course, had pictures of Mia all over the place and always talked about her.

So when she wandered into the Sorting Room, clutching her favorite ball protectively in case anything else tried to eat it, she dropped the ball in utter shock. "M-Mystic Mia?!"

[defense-rests.livejournal.com]

Mia froze upon hearing her name, coupled with a title no one had applied to it in years. She didn't entirely recognize the voice, but there was only one person who would be using that title.

She turned slowly to face the little girl, and smiled at the sight of those twin hair loops, the ones that Pearl was so proud of being able to do herself after Maya had showed her how. "Hello, Pearl."

The ball was rolling past her feet, and Mia stepped into its path to stop it before kneeling to retrieve the ball. Still smiling, she stood up again, turning it around in her hands. One look at the logo and it was clear just where - or rather, who - Pearl had gotten it from.

Pearl was rooted to the spot, so Mia approached her slowly before kneeling down again to Pearl's eye level. "Are you all right?" she asked, offering the ball. It wasn't an idle question, really.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"That is a very clever name for a bar, and being an extremely intelligent (and very attractive) Hat I know exactly what you mean. But perhaps you should explain it for some of the slacker students? I could explain it, of course, but you're the applicant here and so it should be your responsibility." Its metaphorical ass covered, the Hat settled back for an explanation.

[defense-rests.livejournal.com]

((And here I go, reconciling the PW-translated-from-Japanese-courtroom with actual courtroom terms. Wish me luck.))

Mia blinked, but didn't seem all that disturbed. If she could maintain her poise while nearly falling out of her clothing due to a much shorter channeler, (http://pics.livejournal.com/defense_rests/pic/00002zc3) she could easily do so with a talking Hat perched on her head.

"Why, thank you," she said to it politely. "I'd be happy to explain."

And she did. "Literally, the bar refers to One side is where everyone actively involved in the trial takes part, such as the judge, the prosecution, the defense, or any witnesses. The general public isn't allowed to cross over to that side during a trial; they can watch from the area on the other side of the bar, called .

"In fact, everyone involved in the trial except for witnesses and the lawyers actually enters that side from a separate entrance. Aside from the witnesses, . That's how the term 'passing the bar' became synonymous with passing the examination that determines whether or not someone's qualified to practice law in a certain area." She smiled. "I certainly wouldn't want the general public to wander back behind any bar I was tending."

Why yes. She's had a lot of practice with doing the mentoring and teaching thing. Can you tell?

Ravenclaw!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome to Ravenclaw!