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Hamsters were not magical creatures.
Perhaps this was why Camilla was having a very, very difficult time finding any real information about hamster care. The Hogwarts library naturally catered to the subjects covered in wizarding education. Oh, there were some general books on the subject of mundane mammals, but nothing really specific. Camilla needed specific information. Care, feeding, maybe whether it was possible to neuter a hamster ... that kind of thing.
Instead, she found herself puzzling over a book entitled Small, Furry, and Eating of Young: The Insidious Relationship Between Hamsters and Latvians. It was ... full of exclamations. Many vehement exclamations. It did happen to contain a brief discussion of neutering, but not in relation to hamsters.
Camilla's eyes had gone very, very wide as she read. She knew it wasn't going to be any use, this book, but it was like the proverbial trainwreck. She just couldn't look away.
((Credit to Ron-mun for the book title >> ))
no subject
Date: 2007-12-27 04:51 am (UTC)He waited in Gryffindor amicably, no longer feeling that shot of envy that he used endure when thinking of his former House. He didn't stay in Slytherin enough for it to cause any trouble for him, and he now had to admit that he projected a lot of his personal problems with Ginny or Harry or that bloody puppet onto his stay in Slytherin as a whole. A visit with a Muggle therapist in Vienna helped him realize that!
He smiled at Camilla as she spoke, and nodded enthusiastically. "I don't know the inner workings of cars, but I can still fly 'em. Just not on water though."
no subject
Date: 2007-12-28 12:59 am (UTC)The computer made a not-unpleasant chiming sound. "Don't worry, it's not broken. It just shows us that clunky logo until it's loaded everything up," Camilla explained. There was a curious-looking thing that looked a little like half a golden Snitch plugged into the back of the laptop via a cord, and Camilla moved it around on the desk (lacking a mousepad). "All right, this is open now. This is a search engine," remembering the term that she'd been taught; the browser's home page had been set to such a thing, luckily. "I just have to type 'Hamster Hotel' into this little box," which she did.
A moment later, they were presented with a list of results. Camilla clicked on the first.
A window opened.
A rock-instrumental version of "Hotel California" began to play, with a hobbity voiceover talking about hamsters ...
no subject
Date: 2007-12-28 01:34 am (UTC)As she moved it around the desk, Ron anxiously warned her, "It's moving!" But then he quieted. He grew especially quiet when the music began, with images of the hamsters being shown, as well as brief introductions.
~
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
~
Madame Fuzzymittens: "The Leader Who Loves and Leaves" (http://education.vetmed.vt.edu/Curriculum/VM8054/Labs/Lab24/IMAGES/hamster2.jpg)
~
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
~
Spigglets: "Nose for Danger" (http://blogging.la/archives/hamster.jpg)
~
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
~
Baron von Duplicity: "Social Problems" (http://eclectech.co.uk/b3ta/posh-hamster-wallpaper.jpg)
~
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
’this could be heaven or this could be hell’
~
Soco: "Bulimic" (http://www.petwebsite.com/hamsters/hamsters_images/hamster_1301300.jpg)
And it went on...
no subject
Date: 2007-12-31 02:26 am (UTC)Mr. Wiggles: "Resident Nerd" (http://www.maniacworld.com/Hamster-Video-Game-Maze.jpg)
~
Gunhaver: "The Militiaman" (http://witze.net/funpics/hamster_with_gun.jpg)
There were voices down the corridor
~
Lulubelle: "Kleptomaniac" (http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/6041/hamster003oj1-main_Full.jpg)
I thought I heard them say...
~
Wide-eyed, Camilla watched the dramatis personae parade across the screen in captioned still-shots. "Oh my. I didn't know hamsters had so many issues."
"Last week, on Hamster Hotel: we weren't afraid to tackle the issues," announced a smug male voice-over. It sounded uncomfortably similar to Tinky Winky's Narrator.
"Soco confronted Mr. Wiggles, only to get a taste of her own medicine when Wiggles turned the house against her in a no-holds-barred intervention! Spigglets sniffed out a cache hoarded by Lulubelle -- or so he thought! Was Baron von Duplicity the real thief? Stay tuned to find out!"
no subject
Date: 2007-12-31 03:19 am (UTC)After the commercials the show came back on air. "Baron von Duplicity approached Lulubelle with a deal. 'My dear girl, I believe I have you in a bind. Unless you properly accuse Spigglets of a cocaine addiction, I shall... out you, let's say, as our resident thief. Mwa ha. Mwa ha ha ha!' Damn Baron von Duplicity. Damn him and his social problems."